A Solitary Artist
by KissMyWinterEyes
Summary: Bella never thought she would see Edward's warm eyes glaze over in hate, the liquid gold freezing darkly as he left her alone in the forest. But can an unexpected visit from Dr. Cullen mend her broken heart? A tale of hurt, surprises, and most of all love
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for checking out my story. Warning you now, this is a Bella/Carlisle pairing, so if you don't like that please don't leave any nasty comments. Flames are for burning witches :) This is my first Twilight fanfiction, so leave lots of nice reviews ok? Pretty please with a cherry on top! xD Lots of love, Karen_**

**_Ps: This takes place during New Moon, starting off with Bella laying in the forest after Edward abandoned her._**

Bella's POV

I once heard that true love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations; it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart. I now know that the person who wrote that was either in complete denial, or had hit the liquor cabinet a little too early. When I believed myself to be in love, it was never equal or pure. I was treated as though I couldn't handle my own life, so someone else lied to me about it while feigning interest. It was never without violent demonstrations. Whether physical or otherwise, I was constantly in pain during the course of my relationship. Somehow my body or heart always ended up in pieces next to him, appearing weaker than ever, further proving his point. It was never seen with white hairs. My love ended too soon for me to reach old age, something he would never greet anyway. And please tell me how true love could be eternal and infinite when Edward, who was the very same, found it so easy to extricate himself from my life.

And now look at me, laying on the forest floor, waiting for any sign of life to return to me. Waiting for them to return to me.

I knew he wasn't coming back to me. He made that perfectly clear when he said that he didn't want me to go with him. Was I really that much trouble? Did I attract so much danger for everyone that he could no longer deal with me?

_No, _I thought despondently, heart searing as though it was wrapped in white hot wires. _That was only part of it. He would have been able to deal with that. Vampires could deal with an eighteen year old girl. He just… he couldn't… Edward didn't love me,_ I thought. My heart ripped open as I acknowledged this, the wounds just as fresh as when Edward left me standing alone, as dead inside as the trees around me. It was as though the forest felt it when he abandoned me, reflecting my pain, a mirror image of my heartbreak.

I shivered as I lay there, the first time I had moved in hours. I have no idea how long it had been since I collapsed on the ground in defeat, but I didn't particularly care. It was night now, and it had started to rain. The raindrops felt like ice, mixing with the tears that were still flooding my face. I didn't bother to wipe them away. I no longer had the strength to do anything but continue to lay curled up and hurt. I refused to look up at the sky, which I knew was pitch black and devoid of stars. Even the moon refused to make its appearance tonight. The darkness of the forest enveloped me, dragging me further into the abyss. How I longed to get lost in that darkness, to welcome unconsciousness with open arms. But instead I just lay there on the hard-packed earth, rocks digging into the bare skin of my arms and neck. I don't know what happened to my jacket, I must have lost it in the woods somewhere. All I remember was chasing after him, tripping and crying as I went on oblivious of my surroundings or where I was going. I kept thinking that if I just kept running a little farther I would find him leaning casually against a tree, the warmth in his golden eyes sparkling as he waited to pull me into his arms. He wasn't there. He was gone from here forever, and he didn't care. Why should he? And why should I still care?

_Because you love him, and you know he still loves you, _I told myself fiercely.

_Don't be an idiot, Bella, you know very well he doesn't give a damn about you. Otherwise he wouldn't have left you, _my mind argued back angrily.

Exhausted and not wishing to hear myself think anymore, I foolishly cupped my hands over my ears like a child. I was acting like I was five years old, but who cares anyway? There was no one left to impress. It shut out the thoughts to my relief. All that remained was the sound of the rain landing sharply on the leaves around me.

I was completely numb. I felt as though someone had dulled my senses in order to make the pain I was feeling that much greater. And while I somehow managed to block my swirling thoughts, I still could not control the image that would forever be burned into my memory. Edward's eyes, his beautiful golden eyes. They had been like liquid gold, melted precious metal, bottomless irises that could see right through you and read your very soul. Much too intelligent, too gorgeous, too perfect to be human eyes. That picture had been replaced by one that filled my heart with horror and agony. The warmth in his eyes had been gone when he left me. All traces of light had disappeared. The liquid amber had frozen, seeming to leave the hatred and blank stare they held permanently etched on his face. This image terrified me, would not let me forget what he had done. So I just lay there, crying as I gave in to the nausea and sorrow.

Another hour passed, and I remained where I was. I started to wonder why nobody had come to look for me yet. Or did everyone share Edward's point of view, and just not care what had become of me?

_Maybe they are looking for me, _I thought listlessly. _But they just can't find me. Where am I anyway? Am I even still in Forks?_

It didn't matter. The farther away the better I guess. I didn't even want to be found. I just wanted to be alone forever, not have to deal with the emotional abuse that inevitably came with being in contact with other humans.

_Or vampires, _I thought dismally.

That sparked an idea in my head. A dangerous, stupid idea that Edward would definitely not approve of. But he wasn't here anymore.

I could run away.

It was that simple. Why stay here when there was nothing left to hold onto? I was miserable here, and the only things that kept me happy were the Cullens and Charlie.

Well, one of those two things was gone forever. And the other…well, he had lost me before. Once more wouldn't kill him, but it might kill me to stay. I love him with all of my heart, but how much more love can I give him now that my heart was shattered?

I had made up my mind. Forks could live without me.

It took all of the strength I had left just to push myself up to my knees, arms shaking dangerously. I worked my way, slowly but determined, to my feet and stood for the first time in hours. I was freezing and aching all over as I started to make my way through the forest, tears still streaming down my pale face. I must have looked like a zombie, staggering through the woods, no expression on my face other than that same fleeting look of pain I wore every few minutes since Edward had taken his leave.

The rain eventually stopped. I walked for what I guessed must have been a few more hours, searching for some scene other than the one of endless trees that continued to surround me.

It must have been close to morning when the forest started to thin. I finally broke through the tree border, my shoes slapping loudly against the pavement of the street and echoing down the road. I jumped, almost losing my balance and catching myself quickly on a tree branch before my face smashed into it. I had grown accustomed to the silence of the woods, the mud muting my footsteps as I walked.

_Stupid, clumsy Bella, _I thought dully, quietly wishing that I had hit my face into the tree and lost consciousness right there. _This town will be glad to see you go. No one will want a depressed, awkward, empty shell of a girl around._

I looked tiredly up and down the road. I was close to the town limits. A few more minutes walking and I would be free of this nightmare, of Forks, forever.

Another thought occurred to me just then. I realized what else lay just down the road, minutes from the town border. A certain side road that would lead me to a place where I had always felt safe, always comfortable, free to be myself and nothing more. But this place may also fill me with more heartbreak, crushing me as I discovered it empty as I knew it must be. It would truly make this Hell real.

And yet for some reason I couldn't bring myself to believe that. I had a feeling that this was the right thing to do now, and nothing else really mattered anymore except following what I thought I should do.

With an unexplained newfound strength in me I ran the rest of the way until I found the hidden road, sprinting clumsily to the abandoned Cullen house.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Here's your second chapter, dears! I think I got that out pretty quickly, don't you agree? Two days, hell yea! Hehee, all those reviews certainly helped. Thanks, and please keep them coming! I hope I captured Carlisle well, he's kind of hard to embody :) Tell me what you think in a review, it makes me get chapters out faster! Enjoy... Lots of love, Karen**_

Carlisle's POV

I gazed at the mangled white roses strewn across the hallway floor, sighing deeply as a million thoughts raced through my head at once. Petals the color of snow scattered under my feet as I turned to face Edward's locked door, frowning.

_We haven't even been here for a day yet, and already he's causing damage. No need to take it out on Esme and her home makeovers. She was trying to brighten his room up, that's all; she couldn't possibly have guessed that the flowers she chose to decorate the house with would remind him of his lost love with Bella… Yet again, everything seems to make him remember, _I thought, running my hands through my hair roughly in frustration. This extra stress was not needed on the family right now. Everyone was upset over the loss of Bella and our life in Forks, and Edward's sullen, angry mood was not improving ours. We were all beginning to grow apart slightly, sharing his preference of being alone most of the time. The last thing I wanted was for the foolish actions of my son to destroy the coven I had worked so hard to create.

_This was his decision, not ours. _I continued my silent rant as I strode past his closed door. I didn't bother to block my thoughts; I honestly didn't care if he heard me at the moment.

"We didn't even have a say in his decision," I reflected, aloud this time to no one in particular. I made my way down the large staircase, taking the steps two at a time and gripping the cherry wood banister with inhuman force. I leaned against the wall at the base of the stairs, placing my hands over my face tiredly. I pressed my palms into my closed eyes lightly, trying to shut out the world around me.

"Something wrong, dear?"

I lowered my hands slowly to see Esme standing in front of me, her small smile not hiding the exhaustion in her voice. She in particular had been under a lot of stress lately, what with trying to get everyone settled into our new home in Alaska and keep peace in the family.

"Nothing more than usual," I lied, shrugging my shoulders casually.

"Oh, come now, Carlisle. I think after these past few decades of being married I have picked up on when something troubles you."

"No, truly I'm fine. It's just the tensions of being on the move again. After all, it has been quite awhile since we have taken up a new permanent residence, has it not? Setting up a new life is never easy, especially under these particular circumstances."

"Please…please tell me." I could see the pain in Esme's eyes, which she did well to keep averted from my face. If vampires had such abilities, she would have been on the verge of tears.

"I…I just can't take this anymore, Carlisle. Nothing has been right since Edward made the decision to leave Forks. And you're right; it isn't fair that we didn't have a say in the matter." So she had overheard the end of my rant. "We may be immortal, we may not experience all that humans do, but we still have emotional limits. I feel that we have reached those limits, and it is tearing us apart. With the loss of Bella and our stable life, no one even seems to notice how terribly they are affected by it. You've seen it, don't pretend you haven't. Alice refuses to speak to Edward, her own brother! She just sits in her room seeking out visions of Bella, but the depression has clouded her sight. Jasper feels as though this is his fault since he almost attacked Bella on her birthday, and cannot control the waves of remorse and misery he is sending throughout the house. Emmett won't even try to be funny, he just keeps quiet. And Rose may not have been as fond of Bella, but that doesn't mean she isn't feeling the pain of her family as well. And Edward… I can't bear to see my son is so much agony, even if he brought it upon himself. And this is all just in the course of one day! Think how it will be tomorrow, in a month. This family is broken beyond repair."

I had never seen Esme this distraught. It worried me to see my coven in such distress, especially Esme. She had always seemed to be able to keep up a strong front for the sake of the children at least, but she appeared to have finally met her breaking point. She couldn't go on suffering like this for much longer, watching her loved ones sink into an abyss of depression. Edward cutting ties with Bella had done much more damage than any of us ever imagined. The burden of carrying a family that seemed beyond repair was too much for her. It was too much for me as well, but I was determined not to admit it. I was the coven's last chance at survival.

Esme tilted her face up towards mine, her silky brown hair falling messily over her features. I reached out a hand and brushed the strands back delicately, tucking them behind her ear. For the first time in this conversation her golden eyes met mine, but were distant. All traces of true passion were erased, and truth be told, had been for quite some time now.

That was the other thing bothering me. I knew that Esme and myself had slowly been growing farther apart. I first noticed it when we moved back to Forks, before any of this had happened. We would still speak words of love to one another, but they were empty of emotion. We would tease and joke, but no more than two old friends would. Our marriage lately had been more of a façade for the sake of the children . We both knew it, but were too afraid to change what we had grown accustomed to all these years. However, in the current circumstances, perhaps that was no longer for the best.

"Please say something, Carlisle. Tell me what you're thinking."

I was startled from my thoughts, back to the present. I knew the time had come to try and fix this family. And I believed that it would start with making things clear and honest with my wife.

"Esme, dearest… You're right, of course. I, too, am unsettled by this turn of events, and I feel it is my duty as leader of this coven to make things better. I'm not yet sure how I am going to help everyone else, but I think you know as well as I how it must start. Between us, I mean."

"Yes, I know what you are referring to." Esme sighed deeply, and continued. "I have seen how you look at me now, the way you speak to me. Although your words are still kind, they are devoid of the emotion a marriage needs: love. And I have returned those same signs. But don't misunderstand me, Carlisle. Of course I still love you."

"And I you. But I think we both understand that we may have rushed into this marriage, due to my lack of companionship and your motherly, affectionate instincts. What may have started out as a sort of love has, I believe, disintegrated. I have no doubt that two people can fall out of love. But do not get me wrong. I will always love you very deeply as a friend and family member, and hope you will continue to return the favor."

"Yes, of course. I will always have a place in my heart for you Carlisle, and you will always be my best friend. I pray this means that you still think it's best to try and keep the family together, despite our separation?"

"Esme, nothing in this world right now can make me happier than hearing you say you wish to stay with the family. We need you, now more than ever."

"And I will be here." Esme smiled, the first time I had seen her do so since we left Forks. It seemed like years had past since we had abandoned our old lives, not just one day.

I brought my hands down and wrapped them around Esme's, bringing them close to my face. Gently, I placed a kiss on one hand, and then the other. My mouth left her icy skin and curved up into a slight smile of my own. Warmth seemed to radiate immediately from Esme after this gesture. Her expression was as close to contentment as it could be at the moment. I softly let go of her hands, feeling that the conversation was over for now.

I gave her one last smile, and started to turn towards the staircase once again. I was eager to get to my office and think. That is where I had spent most of the day in solitude, and figured that I would be residing in for a while. While one problem was solved, our family was nowhere near better. I feel like it may be worse after this. Hearing that your parents are separating is not the best way to pick up the pieces of a broken home. The kids would have to be told eventually, but for now let them be alone with their thoughts as well.

I shut my office door quietly as I walked in, and crossed the room quickly to my desk. I sat down in the large chair, observing the new surroundings as I brushed my hand up and down the leather lining the arm of the seat. The dismal feeling I had been carrying around all day gnawed at me once again. I took a deep breath in and held it, thinking of all the things that still needed to be addressed. Telling the children about Esme and I could wait of course. I still needed to talk to each of them, try to coax them out of their depression the way any good doctor would. But then I thought of a flaw in that plan: me. I myself still needed to overcome the misery, because clearly it had settled in my heart too. While I had never been as close with Bella as some of the others, I had definitely grown fond of her. In my eyes she was a part of this family, and us being away from her was why there was the sudden rift. I did care for Bella, very much so. I began to feel especially attached to her when I stitched her back up on her birthday. I had felt so comfortable talking to her. She was quite an extraordinary human. But Edward had made it distinctly clear before we left that there was to be no more interfering in Bella's life, ever. He wanted a clean break, and I suppose we could not argue with that. I guess in time we would grow used to her absence, however unfortunate it would always remain.

It was only at that moment that I noticed the little red light on my office phone was flashing silently. I sat there for a minute, transfixed by the glow, a curious expression playing across my face. Regaining common sense, I picked up the phone and held it to my ear, pressing the button to play back the message I had missed.

"Dr. Cullen, Carlisle, please! It's Charlie Swan. I need your help, you're the only one that _can _help! I got your emergency contact information at the hospital, and this is and emergency if there ever was one. Bella is missing, she just left! I can't find her anywhere. The hospital told me that you had gone to California, and I figured Edward must have told her you all were leaving and broke her heart… I don't know where she is. We found her jacket all torn up in the woods, we think she must have run after you guys. Edward meant the world to her, there's no way she would let you all leave without a fight. I have the entire search team and half the town out looking for her, but she's nowhere, Carlisle! Please, help me find my daughter. I have nothing to live for without her…"

Charlie had been hysterical, his voice starting to crack as he spoke quickly. His words were dripping with worry and pain.

I let the receiver drop from my hands, not bothering to pick it up as I was already making my way to the bedroom at almost full vampire speed. I threw whatever clothes and provisions I could get my hands on into a bag, tossing it over my shoulder roughly and slamming the door behind me as I rushed down the stairs.

I had feared something like this would happen. I had warned Edward of the devastating, possibly dangerous effects his decision would have on Bella, but he had seemed to believe that she was incapable of throwing her life away in his absence. And without us there to protect her, who knew what would happen to that poor, silly girl? I tried not to think of that as I searched hastily for my medical bag, locating it near the front door. I gripped the handle tightly, trying not to imagine the worst. She couldn't be, she wouldn't be… _No, not dead, _I told myself desperately. I had one foot out the door when I heard her soft voice.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked quietly, no emotion in her tone. She looked at me as though she were dead. I shivered slightly at the sight of my daughter in such a state, but I couldn't worry about that now. I had to get to Bella. She was most important right now, and I was the only one that could help. I shivered again at the thought of losing her. Edward would likely commit suicide at the hands of the Volturi. He would be devastated, but he would not be the only one.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind, thinking fast. I could not be truthful. If I said I was going to help Bella, Edward would surely be able to read Alice's thoughts once I left and try to stop me, or get Bella himself. I wasn't sure, but I knew it would have terrible consequences.

"There has been a sudden outbreak of vampire attacks in Oregon, and my assistance is required," I lied quickly. "I don't know when I'll be back. Tell everyone I'm sorry, but I had to leave immediately. I'll call you all soon when I know what's going on, ok sweetie?"

Alice didn't respond, but continued to look at me dully. Even mass vampire killings would not spark any emotion. I had to get to Bella right now, wherever she was.

Edward needed her, I needed her. This entirely family could not exist without her.

I closed the door and continued running as fast as my body allowed it. I was at the state border quickly, but it had felt like a lifetime. I ran faster than I ever had before.

Bella needed me, and I was not going to stop until she was safe at my side.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey guys, I'm finally back! I know I haven't updated in like 9 months, and I deserve to be yelled at :( But I just went through a crazy time in my life, a story I'd rather not talk about. And then, of course my laptop breaks lol. But I got it fixed and reading all of my wonderful readers' reviews I knew it was time to continue this story again, because I love you all so much! So here is my Valentine's Day present to you guys xD And maybe I'll even have chapter 4 out before V-Day too. So please read, review, and enjoy**_. _**~Karen**_

**Bella's POV**

How could I describe it? Barren, despondent, silent, lifeless. Yes, lifeless.

The deserted Cullen house looked back at me, its windows staring like lifeless eyes, its white exterior faded like the complexion of a corpse. The porch, wrapped tightly around the lower level of the building, no longer looked inviting. The front door had the appearance of a mouth, just waiting for some misfortunate being to grace its threshold before they were swallowed by the darkness. While it had only been unattended for a day, the field in front of the house looked wild and unkempt. The grass whispered as I made my way across the long stretch of lawn, dancing violently for the wind as it scratched at my legs.

I watched the ground the entire time I was walking, my eyes averted from the menacing domicile. Every so often I would stumble away from my straight path, trying to avoid the weeds sprouting out of the earth. I forced myself to look up as my feet reached the porch steps. Taking them one at a time, I ascended the stairs and stepped lightly onto the deck. The aged wood creaked beneath me as I approached the door, quietly warning me not to put myself through this.

Ignoring the screaming protests echoing in my mind, I reached a trembling hand for the doorknob. My fingertips brushed the handle, pulling back almost immediately. The knob was freezing, as icy as the hand that had last touched it.

Hesitant, I placed my own hand back on the handle, shivering as the coldness of the metal seeped into my skin. Turning the knob gently, I pushed the door open and stepped into the gloom.

My breath hitched in my throat as I gazed around the large main room. It was difficult to see through the penetrating shadows that encased the area, but I could make out some discernable shapes. The wide glass window that made up the entire rear wall was covered with long, blanket-like curtains. The only source of light was the few front windows that let in the dull gray of an overcast morning. It seemed as though the Cullens had left almost everything behind. _Not a surprise, really,_ I thought. Over their centuries on earth the family had acquired quite a ridiculous amount of wealth. They could buy a new, fully-furnished home without making a dent in their finances. But everything had a newfound creepiness to it. All of the furniture had been covered in white sheets, which seemed to billow on their own rather than from the breeze coming through the open door. A fine layer of dust coated all that remained in the house.

Nudging the door closed behind me, I turned my head slowly and saw a particularly large piece of furniture hiding beneath its white attire; the grand piano. I collapsed to the floor as I realized that never again would I hear my lullaby played on its ivory keys. The searing ache returned to my heart, reopening the fresh wounds that had momentarily left me. Tears flooded from my eyes once again, burning as the salt entered the cuts on my face. Running through the forest had left me bruised, bleeding profusely as tree branches assaulted me. Crying out in pain, I rubbed at my face in frustration, only to make the sting worse as dirt from my hands mingled with the bloody tears. Kneeling on the hardwood floor, fingernails digging into my arms as I hugged myself, I took a deep breath and held it until the pain disappeared. My hands began to shake as my body shrieked silently for air, but I would not give it that sweet reprieve. I wanted to hold my breath until I passed out, until the darkness shrouded me forever. But, as usual, I was too weak for that. I shuddered vehemently as the oxygen rushed into my lungs. Another wave of depression washed over me and I laid down on my side, drawing my knees close to my body. I looked forward and saw that I was at the foot of the large, curved staircase. Tilting my head to look up the stairs, my eyes fixated on the black obscurity that was the second floor landing. The house truly was deserted. The silence pressed against my ears as I noticed just how unnerving this place could be when it was empty. _This _looked like a vampire's lair.

This was all becoming too much for me. I couldn't handle it, nothing would ever be the same again. Edward was never coming back; he didn't want me. I lost the only people I had in Forks. I tried to push myself up to my feet but just crashed back to the ground, defeated. The tears were now so frequent that I feared they would permanently stain my face. Like it even matters how I look now.

I tried to stand again; another attempt, another failure. That was the story of my relationship with Edward, and it would continue to be the story of my life. _I am always going to be a pathetic, clumsy, stupid failure_, I thought miserably, reaching into my pocket for the metal nail file Alice had given me a week ago.

"Always have a nail file on hand, Bella," she had said cheerfully. "You never know when you'll need to look your best at a split second's notice."

I had no idea what she was talking about, seeing as I was never concerned with looking like I just stepped off a runway. However, I had pocketed the file that day, and it just so happened that these were the same jeans I had been wearing then. Perfect.

"Thanks, Alice. You were right," I said softly, drawing the thin piece of metal out of my pocket. "You should always have a good nail file on hand. You never know when you'll need it."

The file glinted dangerously at me as I pressed it against the delicate skin covering my wrist. My pulse raced frantically under the pressure of the sharp metal. _I am always going to be a complete mess,_ I thought, anger towards myself rising, overwhelming the sorrow. _And if Edward doesn't want me, I don't want me._

**Carlisle's POV**

The wind whipped at my face as I ran at vampire speed through the woods lining the highway. I pushed myself faster than I thought possible, trying to pick up on Bella's distinctive scent that had thus far eluded me. I slowed down dramatically once I reached the Forks border. Jogging at this speed may be normal to humans, but it was killing me to go this slow. I needed to find Bella now, and at this rate it could take hours.

I stopped after a few minutes, running my hands through my hair and breathing deeply. The fact that I couldn't sense Bella, couldn't hear her heartbeat, was terrifying. What if something had happened? What if I had arrived too late?

Fearing the worst, I turned to continue down the road and almost ran headlong into a young woman crossing the street.

"Dr. Cullen! I didn't expect to see you back so soon," the woman said, giggling. She twirled a piece of her sun-kissed blonde hair around one finger, batting her eyelashes shamelessly.

"Oh, hello Madeline," I said, groaning internally. Madeline worked as a nurse here in Forks. As though she was completely ignorant of the wedding band I wore, she would constantly flirt with me at the hospital. I did not need a delay like this at the moment.

I gave her a smile, gazing around the deserted street rather than her face. The sun was dipping low in the sky, hidden behind the gray clouds but still visible as it gave them an orange tint. It was getting late. I turned my eyes back upon hers and saw the desirous look she wore only too often. She pushed her petite frame towards me slightly and smoothed the front of her skirt, which fell at a dangerously short length of just above mid-thigh. It was true that she was an attractive young woman, but I was just not interested in her at all. Sadly, she never got the hint.

"Where is everyone?" I asked her.

"They all went into the forest to search for Chief Swan's daughter. It seems she's ran off somewhere. The entire town is going crazy looking for her, and I was left here all alone," Madeline said, feigning loneliness as she licked her lips softly.

"Ah, I see," I said, suppressing a grin. I had to applaud her for persistence, but her attempt to seduce me was rapidly turning into a one-woman comedy show. "Well, actually, I too have come to look for Isabella."

"Oh," she said, tugging on a lock of blonde hair in slight annoyance. "Well, maybe we can meet up later," she said hopefully.

"Perhaps," I said, smiling again.

I froze suddenly, as a familiar, enticing scent blew over me in the wind. The floral aroma of lavender and freesia swirled around me, engulfing my senses once more. "Excuse me." I slid past Madeline, leaving her pouting in the middle of the road.

Jogging maybe too quickly to pass as a human, I followed Bella's scent down the road. After a couple of minutes I stopped in my tracks as my ears picked up on a faint heartbeat. "Thank god," I murmured, glancing around the area before running at vampire speed towards the sound. As the beat got louder, and as the smell got stronger, I realized where I was heading. I broke through the trees into the forest to find a faster way to get to the side road. Pushing aside ferns and branches I found the path and ran as fast as I could until I reached my previous home.

Not wanting to alarm Bella, I walked the rest of the way across the lawn, sensing each blade of grass brushing against my legs. I gripped the porch railing tightly as I ascended the steps, nervous of the condition I might find Bella in. I placed my hand lightly on the doorknob, noticing just how warm it felt to me. Compared to the iciness of my skin, most everything seemed warm.

Turning the handle carefully, I opened the door and cried out at the sight before me.

"Bella, stop!" Bella whirled around, dropping the nail file as she did so. A look of pure shock and terror flitted across her pale face before she swayed slowly and fell towards the ground, her chocolate eyes rolling back in her head. Rushing forward I caught her before she hit the floor, holding her tightly in my arms. She was so light and fragile as I held her against my body. Carrying her to the other side of the room, I removed the sheet covering the couch and laid Bella down gently.

"What has Edward leaving done to you?" I whispered as I looked at her unconscious form. Bruises and cuts covered every inch of exposed skin. Her clothes were ripped and filthy. Her long brown hair was matted with dirt and blood. I could not stand to see Bella like this. She had become a part of the Cullen family, and no one wants to see a family member like this.

I pulled Bella's arm close to me, examining her wrist. There was a single cut there, blood dripping slowly out of the gash. It was not too deep, but she would have a scar. I ran my fingers lightly over the wound, delicately tracing the veins visible through her pale skin.

"Oh, Bella," I sighed miserably, grabbing my medical bag. "I can stitch up your injuries, but how will I ever mend your broken spirit?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey guys! Sorry I couldn't get this out before Valentine's Day, but I had a really nice date ;) Thanks for all the amazing reviews, they make me write faster. Sooo I hope you enjoy, keep the reviews coming! ~Karen**_

**Bella's POV**

The darkness had finally arrived, just like I wanted. The sweet, peaceful oblivion that I yearned to take me away. It was quiet, like it had been in the forest. But this wood was free of trees, free of dirt and sky and bad memories. It was just… nothing. Nothing felt strange, though. It felt cold, raising goose bumps over my flesh. The arctic feeling danced on my skin, traveling down my arms, touching my fingertips, grazing over my face. The cold settled on my stomach, turning hot instantly. A fire blazed inside my stomach, spreading through the rest of my body, counteracting the iciness.

Suddenly my nothing was interrupted, invaded by dashes of color. Ribbons of red floated across my vision, swirling through the black as though caught in the wind. Ribbons of gold joined in, performing for me. But I missed my darkness. I wanted the color to go away, and leave me to sink back into the shadows that so graciously allowed me in.

The smooth scarlet dissolved at my internal request, leaving no trace of it behind. But the gold continued to twirl around me, mocking me. The ribbons weaved between one another, coming together and transforming into a single mass. A pair of large, gold eyes stared back at me, giving me a look just short of pure abhorrence. The golden eyes burned bright in the dark, piercing into me. They had an effect worse than that of a dagger through my heart. I wished for the eyes to go away. I never wanted to see those liquid amber irises again. I tried to scream out, move away, anything. A force held me down, keeping me pinned to that one spot, under the scorching stare.

The eyes, finally done taunting me, could now finish me off like they did in the forest. As one eye froze over in ice, suspended in the dark, the other melted, the liquid spiraling down onto my body. The gold burned my skin worse than fire, it tried to destroy me. Enveloping me in boiling hate, I wanted to writhe in pain until the end. But still the invisible force kept me immobile. As I lay there in agony, I realized that this was the same feeling of suffering I had experienced since I was abandoned in the woods. And just like I couldn't move now, there was nothing I could do about the pain he exposed me to. I stared in horror above me, watching the frozen, remorseless gold eye fall from the darkness, intent on crushing me.

"Edward!"

I woke up, terrified and alone, screaming his name. No. Not alone.

"Carlisle?" I inhaled sharply as I saw his pale face, lit up in the moonlight filtering through the windows. The glow illuminated his features, showing in detail every bit of inhuman beauty he possessed. He ran a hand through his silky blonde hair, smiling in relief. "You're really here? It wasn't my imagination?" I reached out a shaky hand, gently brushing my fingertips against the black fabric of his jacket. I pulled away, surprised, when I felt the cold material, assuring me he was not a hallucination.

"Yes, Bella, I'm here," he said softly, taking my hand in his to further prove it. The chill radiating from his hand felt nice encased around my overheated skin.

"What happened?" I asked dazedly. "No, wait, don't answer that." I quickly changed my mind as the events flooded back to me in an embarrassing, painful sequence. I had been about to do the stupidest thing I could think of, and Carlisle burst in to my rescue. And then I fainted. Typical Bella.

"Bella, are you alright?" Carlisle asked apprehensively as he watched my cheeks turn a bright shade of red.

"Yes. Well, no, but… I mean… I'm fine," I said hurriedly, feeling my face burn in humiliation. I tried to sit up on the couch I had been placed on, but Carlisle gently pushed me back down.

"Bella, please relax. You went through a lot today, and I don't want you overexerting yourself. You've suffered quite a bit of damage already," he said, lifting my arm up in front of me so I could view it. There were gashes all over my arm, swollen and inflamed. I knew they covered most of the rest of my body as well. But Carlisle had done his best, cleaning and stitching up the wounds carefully while I was unconscious. I groaned at the sight, not even wanting to imagine what my face must look like. The scent of blood washed over me then, making my stomach turn. Wrinkling my nose, I tried to pull my arm away but Carlisle held it firmly in place, frowning at me. Slowly, he rotated my arm so my wrist was facing me. A cut, more pronounced than the rest of them, shone angrily at me through the dark.

Upset, I tilted my face away from Carlisle's gaze, not wanting to face him about what he saw. He wouldn't understand. I didn't even understand.

"Why would you do something like this to yourself…" He exhaled quietly, and I could hear the concern in his voice. No surprise, just worry and sadness.

"I feel like I no longer have the ability to shock people with my stupidity," I said bitterly.

"Bella," he started.

"No," I said, interrupting him. "I don't exactly know why I did it. I wasn't planning on it, it just sort of seemed like the only thing left to do. You don't know the pain I was feeling, it was too much to handle. In my mind I had no other choice. I never thought I was going to see any of you again, and it killed me inside," I whispered, turning to look at him. His golden eyes, similar to his son's yet filled with so many more years of living, were tragically understanding. Tears fought to escape my eyes once again, and I shut them tightly, turning away from him and burying my face into the couch cushions. Carlisle remained silent, empathizing with the fact that I didn't want to talk about this anymore.

After a few minutes of silence I realized that I was shivering. I hadn't noticed that I was freezing now, after being overheated for so long. Carlisle must have seen me trembling, because I heard him move around and then felt another layer placed on top of me. Rolling back over to face him again, I saw that it was his jacket he had laid over me. I was submerged in his scent the second my face met the cloth. It smelled nice; not like how vampires smell the scents of humans, of course. But like how you can smell cologne or perfume on a person. Carlisle's was a very comforting, clean scent with a hint of vanilla. Taking in another breath of the aroma, I smiled at Carlisle for the first time since he'd been here. He was leaning casually against the covered piano, just watching me.

"Thanks," I said.

"You're welcome," he replied, returning the smile. His pearly teeth glinted in the shadows. I stared at him, savoring the fact that real vampires don't have fangs.

His smiled disappeared and he bent down next to me, pulling the jacket tighter around my body. "Bella, I know today was a lot for you to deal with. I know that you're upset, and probably don't want to be in this house of all places right now. But I think it would be best for you to stay here tonight. Tomorrow too. You need time to recover, and I feel that it would be easier here than back at your house or surrounded by school friends. Is that alright?"

I nodded slowly, secretly overjoyed at the fact that I could hide from reality just a little bit longer.

"Excellent. Now, I have to go out for a little while and take care of some things. Will you be-"

"No!" I cried, grabbing onto his arm. It's true that I had never been quite as close to Carlisle than I had been to the rest of the Cullens, but I needed someone with me right now, and he was one person I knew I could trust. I had just gotten one of my vampires back, and I did not want to lose him again so soon. I beseeched him with my eyes to stay. He gazed back softly, communicating back to me, letting me know it would be ok. He laid his own hand on top of mine for the second time, and the coolness of his skin gave me goose bumps.

"Bella, I _will _come back. I promise you," he insisted soothingly.

I could see the honesty in his eyes, and I gave up. Sighing, I pulled my hand away and nodded.

"Please try to get some sleep," he said, walking towards the front of the room. He gave me one last reassuring smile and closed the door behind him.

Now more lonely than ever, I hugged Carlisle's jacket close to my body and breathed in his lingering scent, waiting for him to come back.

**Carlisle's POV**

The dark trees hid me once again as I ran inhumanly fast towards Bella's house. I had a mission of three things to accomplish. First, I had to pack some of Bella's things to bring back. It would be better for her to stay the night in the old house so as not to overwhelm her with Charlie's questions. In the extreme physical and emotional states that she is currently in, it could be dangerous to bring her back to a fast-paced environment. Especially one so close to where it all happened.

That brought on the next thing that needed to be taken care of: figuring out how to address Charlie. Of course he had to be told that Bella was alright, but he would want her to come home right away. And since I already decided that she should stay overnight so I could monitor her, I needed to come up with something to tell him quickly.

Lastly, because of my family's… diet, there was a severe lack of food in the house. Bella would not regain her strength by starving.

I arrived at Bella's home sooner than I thought. Pacing slowly around the exterior of the building, I tried to figure out which window belonged to Bella's room. Not wanting to jump two stories only to land on Charlie's window sill and have him pull his shotgun out on me, I instead found a tall oak tree, it's twisted branches reaching out like arms. Pushing my feet off the ground forcefully, I launched myself into the tree and landed gracefully on a branch just outside one of the windows. Peering through the glass, I could see a shadowy, light blue room. The bed, empty and not made, clearly hadn't been touched.

Assuming that this must be Bella's room, I eased the window open gently, relieved that it was unlocked and I did not have to put a fist through the glass to get inside. I climbed nimbly through the window and crossed the room quietly. Stopping in front of the closet, I opened the wooden double doors and searched for some clothes Bella could wear. I furrowed my brow, not really sure what to take for her. Settling on grabbing two different pairs of jeans, a few hooded sweatshirts, and a red V-neck sweater, I walked across the room to the dresser this time, placing the clothes on her bed in the process. Opening the top drawer carefully, I found some T-shirts and tank tops that I had seen Bella wear before. Adding two more shirts to the pile, I began to open the next drawer and stopped immediately upon seeing its contents. Not quite sure what to do, I sat there with a half-surprised, half-confused look on my face, staring at a drawer full of bras and underwear. I felt like an immature teenage boy. It was not as though I reacted this way because I was looking at young women's underwear; as a three hundred and sixty two-year-old doctor it's not like I haven't been exposed to it before. But something about the fact that it was my son's eighteen-year-old ex-girlfriend's underwear made it slightly awkward. Especially because laying right on top of the pile was a translucent, lacy black bra. Somehow I couldn't see Bella willingly buying that, and my thoughts instantaneously jumped to a very probable girls-only shopping trip with Alice.

Feeling embarrassed and very slightly disrespectful, I sifted through Bella's drawer until I found a few basic pieces and hastily placed them with the rest of the clothes I had picked out. If I was able to, I surely would have been blushing at this point. I knew that if Bella was to stay at the house, she would want clean clothes. But still, I hoped she didn't mind my intrusion.

I found Bella's backpack laying on the floor and quickly emptied out the books and papers, replacing them with the small pile of clothes. I headed to the door quietly and nudged it open, scanning the hall for Charlie. There were only two other doors on the second floor landing. Hearing his slow, steady breathing in the room across from Bella's, I moved quickly to the other door, hoping it was the bathroom.

Relieved to find a shower and sink in the room, I looked around for anything that might be Bella's. I picked up a hairbrush and toothbrush, one of the tubes of toothpaste, and a matching set of strawberry-scented shampoo and conditioner.

Thinking that I had enough, I returned to Bella's bedroom and packed her toiletries in the backpack. Slinging it gently over my shoulder, I went back to the open window and crouched on the sill. I leapt down to the earth, a multitude of colored autumn leaves crunching under my feet as I landed. Hurrying around the house to the front door, I came up with an idea fast. Pulling out a piece of paper and pen I had found on Bella's desk, I quickly scribbled a note to Charlie.

_Chief Swan,_

_Please do not worry about the safety of Bella. I have found her and she is in extremely good care. When I located her she had a few minor injuries, but I took care of them and she is currently resting. She is now at my old house on the edge of town. I have suggested that she stay there for at least one more day so I can monitor her wellness, and she obliged. I see no reason for her to need to go to the hospital, but it would be better for her to remain in a relaxed environment. _

_I know that you will want to see her as soon as possible, but I must advise you not to come until at least this evening. She needs to sleep quite a bit in order to get better. I have attached my cell phone number; please call me later today to let me know when you want to see Bella. I can better explain everything to you then._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Carlisle Cullen_

Hoping that the letter was enough to appease Charlie for the time being, I slipped the note under the door.

Darting once more through the cover of night, I headed to the 24-hour grocery store to buy some food. I ran as fast as I could without being noticed, anxious to hurry back to Bella. She scared me tonight more than I had been in centuries, and the longer I was away from her the more the fear returned. It was our fault that she was broken, and it was now my main priority to make her better.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey loves, sorry for my pathetic lack of updates. I try, but high school sucks and likes to think it's more important than my stories. Unfortunately, my mom agrees. And SATs are next weekend, yippee :/ But I've just gotten a surge of ideas, so I'll try to update more often. Oh, and I know a lot of you are probably questioning the M rating, but it's for attempted suicide and fun times to come soon ;) Please review, I love every single one of you that do. You're all my inspiration! ~Karen

Bella's POV

The rattling of a doorknob woke me from a fitful sleep. I opened my eyes wearily, blinking away the soft glow of moonlight streaming in through a window. My breath hitched in my throat as I momentarily forgot where I was.

The door swung open quietly and a blonde figure strode in, looking in my direction.

_Carlisle, _I thought, breathing a sigh of relief as the night's events washed over me once more. _I'm safe in the Cullen house, far away from the forest. Far away from… him._

"You're awake," Carlisle said, walking over to the couch and kneeling down next to me. "I trust you slept well?"

"Better than before, if that's what you mean," I responded, lowering my eyes from his gaze.

"Nightmares?" Carlisle questioned, sounding concerned.

"How'd you guess?"

"You were quite restless when you slept before. A little while after you passed out you began to talk in your sleep. You gave me a considerable amount of trouble when I tried to stitch you up," he said, laughing lightly.

"I was talking in my sleep?" I asked, feeling my face heat up as it flushed a deep crimson. I gulped, still avoiding Carlisle's stare. "Um, what did I, uh, say?"

"Not too much," he responded, clearly wanting to save me some embarrassment. "All I could really make out was something about the forest and 'those eyes.' It was mostly just cries and tossing around."

I moaned, burying my face against my arms. Not only do I have to relive the worst pain I've ever experienced every time I shut my eyes, but now I have to worry about broadcasting it to everyone else when I'm not even conscious.

"Well, no matter," Carlisle said, hastily changing the subject. He set down a bag that bore an uncanny resemblance to my backpack. "I hope you don't mind, but while you slept I made a quick stop at your house and gathered some of your things. I figured you would want to be comfortable here. Sorry for the intrusion," he said, flashing me a guilty, yet still dazzling, smile.

"You… broke into my house?" I asked, blinking stupidly.

"Your window was unlocked," he replied apologetically, still wearing a grin.

"Right," I said slowly, grabbing the bag from him. "Then I guess I'll clean myself up a bit now. No use trying to go back to sleep."

I got up from the couch extremely slowly, wincing as sharp aches panged all over my body.

"Careful, Bella," Carlisle warned, wrapping his arm around mine for support. "Are you sure you'll be alright by yourself? You're very weak right now," he continued, helping me to my feet.

"I'm fine," I insisted, annoyed at his obvious disbelief. I could be just as strong as him or anyone else (minus the vampire advantage, of course) on my own. I was independent before, and I could take care of myself. I hated that no one in this family saw that.

I threw the backpack over my shoulder roughly, stifling a cry as it dug deep into my wounds. I stalked off away from him, heading towards the large staircase. I peered up to the top of the stairs, looking into the impenetrable darkness. Reminded of my nightmare, I shuddered and reached for the light switch on the wall. Light flooded the second floor landing, sliding down the stairs like melted butter and pooling at my feet. It was just a habit, flipping the light switch. I honestly hadn't expected that to happen; electricity, in an abandoned house? Puzzled, I turned to face Carlisle. An amused expression settled on his features, probably due to my own expression.

We left the electricity and running water, just in case we ever needed to return," he explained.

I nodded mechanically, having resumed my annoyance. I ascended the steps gradually, ignoring the dull sting on my wrist.

I entered the second door on the left, remembering precisely where the bathroom was. I flicked the lights on and closed the door, throwing my backpack across the room. I leaned my back against the door and slid to the floor, clutching my face in my hands.

I hadn't wanted to break down in front of Carlisle; that would only further prove to him that I was incapable of taking care of myself. But in the solitude of the bathroom, I allowed my sobs to echo gently off the cream-colored tiled walls. Here I was free to hate myself for what I had attempted, hate Carlisle for knowing I was so childish that I would try to hurt myself the second they were gone. Hate everyone but _him_, even if he was the one that rightly deserved it. Because in my mind, he didn't. He was right to leave; I laughed at myself for thinking he would stay longer than this. I don't even understand why he wanted me in the first place.

"I'm not pretty. I'm not smart. I'm not strong, and I'm too immature to admit that to anyone else. I'm not a vampire, and no vampire could ever want me. No one as perfect as… Edward," I choked out his name, "could ever love me."

I stood up and tore off what was left of my clothes, tossing the dirt-encrusted garments on the floor. Tears stung my face as I took one look in the mirror at the mess of a girl with dead brown eyes staring back. I traced the cuts on my face and arms, the bruises on my bare body. The wounds from the forest that would never heal. Disgusted with myself, I turned away and got into the bathtub, letting hot water rush out of the tap and scald my chilled skin.

Carlisle's POV

I listened, forlorn, to the words Bella thought I couldn't hear. I inwardly cursed my heightened vampire senses for letting me pick up the girl's dejected speech in the privacy of the bathroom. The sound of her tears were soon covered up by the rush of bathwater, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're stubborn. You're clumsy and you're human. But you _are _smart, Bella, and I know you're strong," I said determinedly to the empty living room. "You're not immature. And there are so many people that do love you; Charlie, you're mother and her boyfriend. My entire family, Edward included. And there will always be another person ready to love you. Please, Bella, you need confidence to get better. This is not the end of Isabella Swan."

I crossed the room from my place by the window, sitting down in an armchair by the piano. I exhaled quietly and closed my eyes, deep in thought.

"And you are most definitely pretty."

Bella's POV

I pushed myself further down into the bathwater, just far enough that my shoulders were completely submerged. Sinuous lines of soap swirled around my body, the bubbles lapping at my wounds. I pushed myself down farther still, until the now-lukewarm water sat just below the tip of my nose. The clean scent invaded my nostrils, and I was thankful to rid the dirt from beneath my fingernails and untangle my filthy hair. The liquid was tinged a light brown from all of the grime that washed off my skin.

I knew that I should get out of the bath; I had been laying here, taking in the soothing feeling of the water on my body, for almost an hour, and Carlisle was probably thinking I had attempted to drown myself in the bathtub. But I couldn't bring myself to leave the seclusion of the bathroom. I didn't want to have to face anyone right now, especially someone who looked so much like… him. Carlisle really is one of the most caring and compassionate people I know, but it hurts to look into those golden eyes as he treated me in a way oh so familiar to his son. Watching me as I slept, caring for my injuries, helping me with every little thing I did; it was nice that someone, especially someone from the Cullen family, still cared so much after I endangered their lives so many times. But it was too much. I couldn't be around him, or anyone for that matter. After being left alone in the woods by the person who promised to love me forever, I was not keen on ever being around anyone again. But I had no choice.

With that, I dipped my head under the water, quickly rinsing out what was left of my strawberry-scented conditioner, and left the safe comfort of the bathtub. I reached out for the towel rack, grabbing a soft off-white towel that matched the rest of the elegant, cream-colored bathroom and wrapped it around my body. I did not want to have to look at my scarred skin in the mirror again, especially as I felt one of the bruises on my torso getting steadily more painful. I pushed the towel to the side slightly and brushed my fingers over the sore spot on top of my ribs, starting just below my right breast and making its way down my side to the top of my stomach. I couldn't even tell if it was more on the front or side of my body; it hurt everywhere, every time I bent over. It must have formed when I was tripping over everything in the forest; I hadn't even noticed until now. I winced at the pain, nervous that I could have done some serious internal damage. But I didn't want to be babied by Carlisle anymore, so I put on a brave face and searched my backpack for some clothes.

I gasped when I found the clothes Carlisle had packed for me, a deep shade of rose invading my face. Right on top were a few pairs of underwear and bras. I moaned in embarrassment, thinking of my ex-boyfriend's father having to pack them. Not that I really thought of him in a fatherly way, as he was only (visually) a few years older than I was. But just the thought of him seeing them was enough to send me into a mortified frenzy.

_Oh God, he probably saw that damn lacy bra Alice made me buy! _I thought, thinking back to a forced shopping trip between me and the fashion-obsessed vampire.

"Really, Bella, you need something new to wear! Don't you want something that will drive Edward wild?" Alice had said, planning for something that was destined to never be.

Taking deep, calming breaths, I tried to forget about it. It was too late to do anything now, and it was nice that Carlisle had thought of everything to make me feel relaxed.

Aside from the underwear, Carlisle had selected a good set of clothes for me to choose from. Nothing too tattered, but nothing uncomfortable. I sifted through the garments, picking out a pair of dark skinny jeans. Looking for a shirt to wear, I was surprised when my hand closed around a soft, blood red material. Pulling it out, comprehension dawned on my face as the fabric revealed itself to be a red V-neck sweater that Charlie had bought me for my birthday two years ago. I had only worn it once, to please him, and then forgotten about it once I returned to the heat of Arizona. I must have brought it to Forks without realizing it and buried it deep within the confines of my closet.

It really was a pretty shirt, and I wanted something with long sleeves to cover the cuts on my arms. Without another moment's hesitation, I pulled the sweater gently over my head and observed my outfit in the mirror.

I looked a lot nicer than I thought, given the situation. It was a wonder what a bath and clean clothes could do. The crimson shirt fit perfectly, clinging to my skin softly and accentuating my slight curves. The V-shaped dip in the neckline ended just above the curves of my breasts, in a classy yet quietly sensual fashion. It made me look almost normal. Almost. But nothing could relight my sullen eyes and paler-than-usual skin. Sighing and pulling my face into a neutral expression, I made my way out of the bathroom and to the staircase, leaving the second floor light on to guide me.

As I moved down the steps one at a time, Carlisle came into view. He was leaning back in an armchair, shrouded in the shadows away from the light cast down the stairs. He had his hands covering his face, apparently deep in thought, his light skin illuminated in the darkness. As I came closer he must have noticed my presence because he removed his hands and sat up straight, looking at me. A look of surprise flitted across his face, quickly replaced by a warm smile.

"Bella," he said, standing up and gesturing towards me delicately. "You look so much better! I hope you feel the same?"

"A little," I replied, giving him a weak smile. He ran his hand through his blonde hair before continuing.

"And I really do like that sweater. Red is a magnificent color on you," he said approvingly.

"Really? Because Ed-" I faltered as a pain tore through my heart- "I mean, I was always told I looked good in blue."

"Well, clearly that person had never seen you in red," he said gently, making me blush as an appreciative smile crept onto my face. I didn't usually get gentlemanly compliments like that, aside from the few his son had told me.

He smiled again, pleased that he had elicited some kind of positive, seemingly-genuine response from me.

"I must apologize, Bella," Carlisle said quickly, bringing us both back from our thoughts. "I seem to have gotten preoccupied with my own mind while you were washing up, and so unkindly forgot to fix something for you to eat. Thus another curse of living the life of a vampire," he said, laughing lightly.

"It's not a problem, really," I insisted. He had been so good to me already, tending to my wounds and fetching me my things. Now he was scolding himself for not making me food, when he himself did not need to eat? I was starting to feel bad for thinking ill of Carlisle's company; he was just trying to help as much as possible, after all. Look at the situation- his son had deserted his girlfriend in the middle of a forest and left her so heartbroken she had attempted suicide. Carlisle leaves his family and comes to the rescue to save her from herself, and she wants nothing to do with him.

_I must really be a bitch, _I thought. True, I wanted nothing more than to be alone. Being around other people just made it worse, because they could not possibly understand the hurt I was feeling (or so I thought). But I couldn't push Carlisle away, not after everything he's done to help.

"Let's get you some breakfast," he said genially, starting towards the large kitchen and turning on the light.

"Breakfast?" I questioned, comparing the brightly-lit kitchen to the darkness visible through the windows.

"It's just after five in the morning, Bella," Carlisle said, amused.

"Oh," I said, grinning sheepishly. I hadn't realized how much time had passed since Carlisle found me. But thank God he did. As much as I wanted to escape the pain, I didn't truly want to die.

*****

An hour later I was on the couch, exhausted again after just a bath and a delicious omelet cooked by Carlisle. For someone who didn't eat, he was an amazing chef.

I was curled up under the vampire's jacket once more as he sat in the armchair near the piano again, a thickly-bound book in his hands. I was not eager to return to the nightmares that surely awaited me, but I could barely keep my eyes open another minute.

"I don't have to stay here if you don't want me to," Carlisle said, kindly remembering my reaction to him watching me sleep and scream before.

"No, it's ok," I said. "It actually kind of makes me feel safer." And I meant it; I did want him, someone who cared, to be there when I woke up terrified. He smiled softly.

"Close your eyes, Bella."

And I obeyed.

*****

I woke up what felt like minutes later to a persistent ringing in my ears. I hadn't even been asleep long enough to have a nightmare.

Carlisle's cell phone was on the coffee table in front of me, yelling at me to wake up. A hand shot out quickly and silenced it, followed by an apologetic look from Carlisle.

"Sorry to wake you, Bella, I forgot to turn off the ringer." He glanced at the wall clock, and back to me. "It's four-o-clock, that will be Charlie calling to harass me about you."

"Four-o-clock?" Had I really been asleep that long? Another thought flooded into my mind.

"Charlie?" There was no way I was ready to face my dad about this. A knot formed in my stomach, twisting around painfully as I watched Carlisle answer the phone.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello, loves! Here's chapter 6- I think I updated pretty fast, compared to how I've been lately ;) And I'm already in the midst of chapter 7, so that should come soon too. This is a big, emotional chapter between Bella and Charlie, and I hope I captured it well (feedback is appreciated!). Oh, and since it's past midnight, today is officially my 17th birthday! So here's a present, from me to you lol. Reviews are loved as always, please tell me what you think- I've broken 50, let's try for 100! Oh, and special thanks to StormDragonfly for wishing me luck on my SATs- they went pretty well, I'll let you all know what my score is when I get it back :) Ok, so now that I'm rambling.... I'll just let you read lol. Thanks for all the deovtion to this story so far, and enjoy. ~Karen

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Bella's POV

Carlisle cleared his throat softly before speaking into the cell phone.

"Hello, Charlie. How are you?" A pause. "Good, I- um, yes, of course she's here." He raised his eyebrows in confusion, as if wondering where else in the world I would be. "Well, yes , but- no." Another pause. "Yes. No. No… I'm not really sure. But- no, that's not really necessary. But-"

Carlisle looked at me with an exasperated smile, clearly struggling to get a word in with Charlie. He must be panicking on the other line. I plucked nervously at a loose thread in the couch. I really wasn't looking forward to speaking with my dad on the phone, and I was positively dreading him coming to see me later. How would I explain this to him? My vampire boyfriend dumped me, I went crazy in the forest, and was saved from suicide by his also-vampire father? I would have to rethink that one.

"Yes, Charlie, I can assure you that she is doing much better than before… No, I still think it's wise for Bella to stay here for at least one more day. She's weak and needs a place to heal away from the commotion of everyday life… Of course you can visit her," he said, eyebrows knitting together in another charmingly puzzled face. He must not realize how… _wary _Charlie was of the Cullen family, especially now if he knew about _him _leaving. At least he had always seemed to trust Carlisle.

"Hold on, Charlie, I'll check on her." Carlisle moved the receiver away from his face and looked at me seriously. "Bella, your dad would like to come visit you now," he said, lowering his voice to a soothing whisper. "Is that ok, or too much at the moment? I don't know how much longer I can hold him off," he added, smiling.

"Carlisle, I… I don't know. I don't think I'm ready to tell him. What do I even tell him?" My voice shook as I felt on the verge of tears. I couldn't tell Charlie that… Edward… left me. I couldn't tell him that when Carlisle found me I was completely broken with a blade against my wrist. But I couldn't bear to tell him another truth: that I was not his little girl anymore. I was a different person, and I had no desire to be around him or anyone else. I planned to leave Forks as soon as I got better.

"Bella, you'll have to tell him eventually. He's your father, and he loves you. He'll want to help," Carlisle said gently, taking my hand in his. The icy contact danced on my skin in a calming way, and just from that one comforting touch some of the negative emotions dissipated.

I nodded resolutely, and Carlisle smiled, squeezing my hand lightly. He brought the phone back to his mouth.

"Charlie? It's fine for you to come over now… Alright, I'll see you then." He closed his cell phone and gave me a brief reassuring look. "You must be hungry, you haven't eaten since this morning."

"Not really," I said, feeling my stomach churn anxiously. Even if I was hungry I wouldn't eat, though. I didn't care anymore; telling Charlie would finally make this horror story real, and I wasn't sure if that left me more depressed, angry, crazy, or just emotionless. I was sure, however, that I couldn't care less about something like eating right now. Eating was normal, and I'm too fucked up to do normal things anymore. Vampires don't eat either, and they're the farthest thing from normal. Besides me, that is. I don't fit in with humans; I don't fit in with mythical monsters. There was nothing left for me here. Even if the Cullens were gone (and I had no doubt Carlisle would leave as soon as I healed), I couldn't stand to stay in this town that left me feeling like such an outcast. I had to start new, somewhere with no vampires, no humans, just me.

"Nonsense, Bella, you have to eat," Carlisle urged.

"No, Carlisle, I don't," I said, sighing quietly. I pulled my hand out of his and settled back into the couch, rolling onto my other side and facing away from him. I closed my eyes and exhaled again, willing myself alone.

The next thing I heard was a car door shutting and three urgent knocks. I flipped over on the couch, only to find the room empty. Had it been twenty minutes already? I must have gotten lost in thought.

The knocks persisted loudly, and Carlisle was nowhere in sight, so I grudgingly got up from the couch and opened the front door.

"Bella!" Charlie swept me up in a hug before I could even see the worry etched on his face. His grip was not too tight, but my bones felt as though they would snap under the pressure. The bruise above my ribcage throbbed painfully, but Charlie would not release me despite my protests. He just kept fumbling over words of relief.

"I think that's enough, Charlie, let's not hug Bella to death." I heard Carlisle come up behind me, the cold radiating off his body. I felt his hands pry me away from my father's vice grip, bringing me back so I could face Charlie at a safe distance. He placed his hands on my shoulders gently, and I wished that I could turn around and see his face. "She is still healing, after all."

A sheepish grin spread across Charlie's features as he looked away from us. His hands twitched awkwardly at his sides, and I couldn't help but feel my heart break right then and there. My dad looked so helpless; how could I tell him what happened? How could I tell him I was leaving for good? It would be like my mother all over again.

"Erm, why don't you go have a seat in the living room, Charlie? Straight through the door. We'll just be a minute." Carlisle stepped aside, pulling me with him as he let the police chief pass. His hands were still sitting lightly on my shoulders as I felt him lean in close behind me. I felt his chilled breath on the back of my neck and shivered.

"Bella," I heard him breathe into my ear, wisps of hair blowing faintly against my cheek. I could smell the scent he had left on his jacket, only much stronger. It made me slightly dizzy, although I have no idea why. "Please try to be careful of what you say to Charlie, at least for right now. He is clearly very worried, and it would not be ideal to spring radical stories and plans on him at the moment. Give him some time to relax."

It was as if he could read my mind, something a certain someone would have given anything to be able to do. He couldn't possibly know that I planned to leave Forks, could he?

In a sudden quick movement, I was spun around to finally face Carlisle. His hands caught my shoulders again, this time from the front. My nose was just a few inches from his, and his ochre eyes peered down at me intensely.

"Promise me you'll mind your mouth, Miss Swan," he said, a smile creeping onto his face despite his serious tone. "Doctor's orders."

"I'll try," I murmured. Carlisle was right; I couldn't hurt Charlie like that, not yet.

"That's all I ask," Carlisle said, leading me through the entrance of the house.

We entered the living room to find Charlie sitting at the edge of the couch, looking around at the intricate design of the room. He surely was not used to such lavish living, and it looked like he could not find exactly the right way to present himself in this environment.

"Dad, make yourself comfortable," I said, sitting down on the couch next to him. Carlisle took his usual spot in the armchair near the piano, surveying the scene before him wordlessly. Charlie sat back a little further, still looking awkward.

"So, Bells, um… What exactly, uh, happened the other day?" It was obvious that he was trying his best to keep calm so as not to upset me. I appreciated it; I don't think I could have dealt with an emotional breakdown from the stone-like persona my father usually held. I took a deep breath and began my story.

"Well, Dad," I said, opting to call him the more affectionate name rather than "Charlie," given the circumstances. "Two days ago when I got home from school… Edward (I still struggled over the name) wanted to talk to me. We went for a walk in the woods near the house…" "I know, I read your note. That was very irresponsible to begin with, why would you let that boy lead you into the woods? It's dangerous, Bella!" "I know, I know, Dad, please don't interru- wait, what note?" I said, eyebrows shooting up in confusion.

"The note you left me, saying you went for a walk," Charlie answered, looking equally confused.

My brain worked furiously to remember the mentioned note. The gears in my head clicked as I realized that _he _must have left a note, mimicking my handwriting.

"Oh, right, I forgot," I said quickly, looking away from Charlie's suspicious gaze. The cop in him was coming out; I would have to be more careful of what I said. "Anyway, the point of it is, well…" Tears began to form in the corners of my eyes, and I found it exceedingly difficult to breathe.

"Bells, are you alright?" Charlie asked nervously. He reached out a hand, tentatively placing it on my own. I wrenched it away from him, not wanting to be comforted. I saw the hurt look of surprise on his face and immediately felt remorseful.

"Edward broke up with me, alright?" I could no longer control myself at this point and broke out in sobs, gripping the couch cushions tightly as I tried to hold on to some sanity.

"Oh, Bella," Charlie whispered sadly, moving closer to me. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me even as I struggled. Eventually I gave up, slumping against him as I cried into his shoulder. He stroked my hair, shushing me quiet, but I just continued to ramble.

"He left me, and I thought I could get him back! I ran after him, but he was already gone. I couldn't find him, Dad, it was all dark… It felt like Hell, the forest was blurry and I just didn't care anymore! I ran to the house, I thought maybe he would still be here, but he wasn't. He really is gone. But who could blame him? I was stupid, and he didn't want me!"

"Isabella Swan, that damn boy is the stupid one for not wanting you," Charlie said sternly, still cradling me in his arms. He looked at Carlisle in alarm; he hadn't realized I would be this bad. "Shhh, it's alright, Bells. Just tell me what happened."

I looked up at him and saw myself reflected in his eyes. I was a mess again, my tear-stained face contorted into a look of pain. I tried to control my crying so I could get this over with. Wiping away some of the tears, I attempted to continue.

"I came here, looking for him. But he wasn't here. I thought no one was, but Carlisle was actually upstairs, um, packing," I said, lying quickly.

"Packing?" Charlie asked, puzzled.

"Yea, the Cullens decided to move after Edw- um, he broke up with me."

"He _moved_?" Charlie said, outraged. "He broke my daughter's heart and then _moved_? Too much of a coward to face his own damn messes, huh?"

"While the idea to move was my son's idea, I cannot help but take some of the responsibility," Carlisle said, finally speaking out from his place in the chair. "The decision was ultimately up to me, and I felt that it would be best for everyone. There was a great job opportunity for me in California, and Bella would not have to feel uncomfortable seeing us after the incident. I thought that this would help her get over my son's actions in peace; clearly I was wrong. I sincerely apologize to both of you. I, as well as the rest of my family, did not mean to cause this damage."

My jaw dropped as I heard Carlisle's apology. Apparently Charlie had the same reaction.

"Why on earth are _you _sorry?" he asked, dumbfounded. "You're the one we should be thanking! You made sure my daughter was safe, tended to her, and… well, everything! It's your son that should be sorry!" "Dad," I said, shocked. I knew that Charlie had always had a thing against Edward, but to talk about him like that in front of his father?

"No, Bella, it's ok. Your dad is right. I agree, Edward's actions were senseless and damaging. I have no idea why he did it, as he, along with the rest of my family, was very fond of Bella. But I felt that I needed to adhere to my son's wishes. He was very adamant about leaving, and it was not my place to intrude. If I had any idea, though, that this would be the outcome, I never would have let him."

Charlie seemed to let it go for now, although it was evident that he was still stubborn about this.

"Well, then," he said gruffly.

I leaned back into the couch, hoping that that was the worst of this discussion. Maybe I wouldn't even have to mention what happened when I got here.

Unfortunately, it looked like Carlisle hadn't forgotten that detail.

"Bella, isn't there something else you need to tell Charlie?" He gave me a look that pierced my soul. I knew I had to be honest with my father.

"Dad… I got most of these cuts and bruises when I was running through the woods…" I said slowly, the terror building up inside of me as I got ready to tell him the truth. The knot in my stomach was back, sinking deep in my body as though trying to drag me to the floor. "But there's one that was from, well, something else." I lifted my trembling arm at a snail's pace until it was in front of Charlie, and then turned it so my wrist faced him.

Charlie squinted so he could figure out what he was supposed to be seeing, until a look of pure horror dawned on his face. He grabbed my wrist tightly, bringing it even closer to him.

"Bella…. What did you do?" he asked, his voice distressed.

"Dad, I…." I tried to stutter out something, but I couldn't avert my attention from the expression he was wearing. "I didn't know what I was doing, I-I was upset, it's ok now, really-"

"Stop…. Bella, you tried to kill yourself!"

"No, Dad, please… it's alright, I'm fine now! It was stupid, I didn't mean it, it was an accident-"

"You can't accidentally put a blade to your own wrist, Bella!" "I'm ok now, Dad, Carlisle helped! I'm getting better, please stop!"

Charlie, maintaining his grip on my wrist, stood up from the couch and started towards the front door, dragging me with him.

"Isabella, I love you, and I want to believe you, but I can't! You need help, real help! I'm going to take you somewhere that will fix this."

"Carlisle _can _fix this, Dad, let me go!"

"Charlie, please, let's just sit down and talk this through," Carlisle said, quickly joining in the conversation. He strode to the door at half-vampire speed, blocking the exit.

"Isabella, you're my daughter, and I'm not going to lose you. I know you think Carlisle can help you, but he can't! You're unstable right now, and it's just an emotional attachment to someone who's linked to Edward!"

It was as if all the air had been sucked from the room. No one dared to say anything after Charlie's last statement. My chest heaved up and down as I searched for words.

"You have no idea what you're saying," I said angrily, pulling my wrist from Charlie's hand. "Carlisle saved my life. Of course he can help; he stayed behind to take care of me rather than going to be with his family. That's more than Edward did. How dare you say that Carlisle is only a way for me to feel like Edward is still here, or will come back, or whatever. You truly have no faith in me, do you? I'm not some stupid lovesick girl; I know he's not coming back. And I can't believe you think I'm that…. Forget it."

"Bella, I, uh- I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Charlie looked thoroughly ashamed.

"Don't apologize to me," I said, nodding my head towards Carlisle.

"Right, um…. I'm sorry, Carlisle. I know that you've done everything possible to help Bells, and I appreciate it. It's just, I'm afraid that being here with you only reminds her of… uh, _him_, you know, like an emotional tie. I just don't want her to hurt anymore," he finished, wringing his hands.

"It's quite alright, Charlie," Carlisle said, reaching his hand out to shake Charlie's. I looked at my father, knowing he meant well. I walked to him slowly and wrapped my arms around him. Startled, he hugged me back.

"I love you, Dad, and I'm sorry I did this. But it'll get better. This is the best place for me right now. I just can't be around a lot of people right away."

"I know, Bells, but you scared me, and…. I miss you."

"I know, Daddy, I miss you too," I said, tears rolling down my cheeks again. Charlie hugged me tighter. My bruise ached, but I didn't care.

"You haven't called me Daddy in years," he said softly. "Please come home, Bella."

I felt a twinge of painful anxiety in my heart, knowing that when I did come home it would not be for long.

"I need to stay here for at least one more day. For my health. I'm not ready to go back to school, back to the world yet. Tomorrow's Friday; I'll stay here. But I promise I'll come home over the weekend."

Charlie and I finally disentangled ourselves and stepped apart a bit. The tension in the room was gone, replaced by a slight awkwardness. I had never been this emotional before, especially with my dad. Carlisle looked around casually, clapping his hands together.

"So, how about some food, Bella?" he said jovially, breaking the silence. "Charlie, would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Uh, sure," Charlie replied thickly.

"That sounds great, Carlisle. I'll meet you guys in a minute," I said, moving towards one of the front windows.

Carlisle gave me a warm, understanding smile and nodded, leading Charlie into the kitchen.

I looked outside at the ever-approaching darkness, pressing my forehead against the cool glass window pane. We must have been talking for longer than I thought; a quick glance at the clock told me it was already past six-thirty. Bringing my attention once again to the front yard, my eyes scanned the cloudy, charcoal gray sky. There were no stars to wish on tonight, no chance to hope that my life could be normal again. I sighed, my breath fogging up the glass in opaque swirls of white heat. I turned away quietly and started towards the kitchen, lost in thought.

I forgave Forks for its constant cloud cover, forbidding the galaxy of its opportunity to shine. It doesn't matter anyway. I never believed that wishing on a star would make me happy.


	7. Chapter 7

_I'm back again with another chapter! I started this one with Carlisle's POV because I feel like he's been neglected lately, poor baby. Thanks for the crazy amount of reviews on the last chapter, I love you all! And for those that didn't review, you should! (Please lol). Oh, and a quick note: someone asked me if Carlisle knew about the bruise Bella has. He doesn't know about it yet, but it will be brought up again really soon. Thanks for reading, reviews tickle me pink. Hugs, kisses, and Carlisle look-a-likes to you all (don't we wish)! ~Karen  
_

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Carlisle's POV

The rest of the night was rather uneventful. I sat at the dinner table, kept up appearances like a normal host, and suppressed a laugh every time Charlie praised my penne ala vodka like it was a meal sent from God. I even tasted a bit of it myself upon Charlie's constant insisting, although I can only assume the experience was not as pleasant as his. I caught Bella giggling at my disgusted face when I swallowed the dirt-flavored food, her face lighting up a brilliant scarlet to match her shirt when she noticed me looking back at her.

After dinner Charlie went home to get some sleep before work the next morning, making Bella promise she'd keep in touch until she came home over the weekend. Bella settled back on the couch, and I cleaned up the kitchen.

Walking into the living room after I finished up, I saw Bella lounging on the sofa and noted the bored expression she wore. An idea flashed through my mind and I smiled, crossing the living room to the large bookshelf in the corner. I ran my hands over the aged, leather-bound spines until I found what I was looking for. Pulling out a heavily-read book with a dark blue cover, I made my way back to the couch and sat next to Bella. She turned to me, the curiosity etched onto her face only making me smile wider.

"You looked bored, so I thought you might enjoy something to read. I think you'll like this," I said, handing her the book. She searched the front cover for a title, eyes lighting up in delight once she found one.

"Wuthering Heights!" she said, evidently pleased. "This is my favorite book, how did you know?" She looked back to me, eyes wide in wonder. I smiled, seeing her truly happy for the first time since I found her.

"Alice told me about it once. After one of her first outings with you, I asked her what you were like. I think she just mentioned it to appease me; all she could talk about was how horrible it was that you hated shopping." She grinned, flipping open the cover. "Wait, there's something else that may interest you," I said, stopping her at the inside cover. There was a note addressed to me scribbled neatly at the top, signed by none other than the author herself.

I laughed lightly, thinking that Bella's eyes would soon pop out of her head if they got any wider.

"You knew Emily Bronte?" she asked, mouth hanging open in sheer disbelief.

"We've met, yes," I said, laughing again. "It was 1848, shortly before her death. I was studying English and Philosophy in England at the time, and she came to speak at one of my classes. It was one of the only public discussions she did about her works. Back then they weren't as popular, but I loved them. I stayed almost an hour after class talking to her, telling her how talented she was. Funny, she seemed surprised that anyone liked her work. I happened to have my copy of _Wuthering Heights_ on me, and she signed it."

"'Carlisle, your devotion to my work has left me speechless. Never have I felt so proud to call this tale my own. You are quite an extraordinary gentleman, and I know you'll go far in this world. Sincerely yours, Emily Bronte,'" Bella read, hanging onto each word. "Oh, Carlisle, this is amazing!"

"I guess that is one positive thing about vampirism; you live long enough to get the chance to meet some of your idols."

"I can think of another perk; you stay young and inhumanly good-looking forever," Bella said pointedly.

"Eternal youth is not always a blessing, Bella," I said.

She just rolled her eyes and smiled, turning the pages of the book delicately. "Of course it's not."

I smiled down at her next to me, glad to see some life back in her. Leaning back into the couch, I watched her become absorbed in the novel. With the vast amount of technology available today, it's hard to find people so dedicated to a thing like reading. Not wanting to disturb her, I got up quietly and made my way upstairs. I entered my old study, closing the door behind me and taking out my cell phone. I sat down in the chair behind my dark wooden desk and dialed a familiar number, listening to the steady ringing on the other line. Finally, someone answered.

"Carlisle, how are you? I've been worried," Esme said kindly. I could hear the touch of concern in her voice, and I was glad that our mutual split had not left any bad blood between us. "Alice told me about the killings. I thought you would call as soon as you knew what was going on."

"Killings?" I said, momentarily forgetting my false story about a massive vampire attack in Oregon. "Right, I'm sorry. It's been extremely busy here."

"What's going on, Carlisle? Who is responsible?"

"Um, we're not quite sure yet," I said quickly, digging myself deeper into lies. "A few of the local vampire covens and I are trying to sort things out. They had heard that I was capable of resisting human blood and sought out my help."

"I contacted the Denali clan, and they haven't heard anything about this," Esme said, sounding confused.

"We're trying to keep it quiet and contained, so as not to spread unnecessary fear. It is nothing to worry about, not at the moment at least. We have everything under control, it's just finding out who the culprit is that's taking time," I said firmly, praying that she did not send anyone from the Denali clan down to help. "I just wanted to call and let you know what's going on. How is the rest of the family?" I asked, changing the subject.

"About the same as when you left. Edward hasn't left his room. Jasper has been pushing his remorseful feelings on everyone; he believes he is at fault because of what happened at Bella's birthday. Alice is… quiet, and just not herself. Emmett and Rose are doing ok, obviously one better than the other, but it's just too much to handle. I dread the time when we tell them of our separation." "Well, that can wait," I said, feeling the same anxiety. "I'm not sure when I'll be back, Esme. Will you be alright by yourself for a few more days?" "I suppose I'll have to be," she said strongly.

"I know you can do it," I said, smiling despite knowing that she couldn't see it. "I'll call you again soon, dear."

"Please do, and please be careful," Esme replied, before hanging up the phone.

I listened to the dial tone with a sick feeling. I hated lying to my family, but right now it was necessary. I couldn't let them know I was here to help Bella, not even Esme. Edward would read their minds and find out in a heartbeat, and who knows how he would react. It was supposed to be a clean break. But I couldn't sit back and do nothing when I found out Bella was in danger.

I made my way back down the stairs and into the living room. Pausing half way down the steps, I leaned on the banister and looked into the room. Bella lay motionless on the couch, eyes closed and arm hanging loosely. Her slow breathing was making the open book on her stomach rise and fall gently as she slept. I smiled at the sight and continued down the stairs, flicking off the lights at the bottom. Walking over to the sleeping human, I admired the moonlight streaming in through the window and illuminating her features. Her chocolate brown hair shone through the darkness, falling across her forehead. She looked peaceful, and I envied her ability to escape reality through slumber.

_Bella really is something special, _I thought. _She's already had such an impact on us, but she would have made a wonderful addition to our family. How could Edward have done this to her? _I shook my head free of those thoughts. _It's none of my business. He was doing what he thought was right to protect Bella. _I still pondered his decision, though.

I approached Bella silently, reaching down for the book that lay open on her. I almost had it away when she grabbed my arm and pulled it close to her, snuggling into my open palm. I tried to pull back gently, but to no avail. Giving up, I smiled, wishing more than ever that I could read her thoughts, see into her dreams. I sat down next to the couch and let her hug my arm tighter.

Suddenly, Bella's peaceful expression vanished. Her face was troubled, and she moaned fearfully.

"Edward," she mumbled, pulling my arm closer still. "Edward, don't go. Don't leave me, I need you…" She started to squirm in her sleep, getting louder and more fitful.

I frowned, realizing that she was having another nightmare and thought I was Edward. She began to scream and I yanked my arm out of her grasp, placing my hand on her warm face gently.

"Bella! Bella, wake up! It's only a dream," I shouted, trying to free her from this nightmare. She eventually began to calm down, but her breathing only sped up as her eyes fluttered open. She grabbed my hand tightly, eyes wild.

"Carlisle? Carlisle…" she said softly before slipping back into sleep.

Bella's POV

I had been awake for over an hour, just sitting in silence on the couch. I stared straight ahead, not daring to catch Carlisle's eyes. I felt his gaze burning into me, but I wouldn't return it. I was humiliated and angry, sad and confused. I had had another nightmare about _him _last night, and Carlisle had seen it again. I hated that I couldn't seem strong around him, around anyone. It made me feel inferior and stupid, and the only way to deal with it was to continue to stare at the empty wall a few feet in front of me. Carlisle cleared his throat; it must have been about the tenth time he's cleared his throat since I've been awake. He's probably lost for words, not wanting to upset me but wanting to communicate somehow. I ignored it, again. He, however, didn't.

"Alright, Bella, you've been up for almost two hours now, and you haven't said a word. You are never going to get better if you just shut everyone and everything out of your life," he said sternly. I actually looked at him in surprise. I hadn't expected a lecture. "If I knew you were going to act like this I would have sent you to school. What's the difference, whether you're trying to make yourself disappear from the world here or there? What happened to that spark of life I saw in you last night?"

"It went away when the nightmares came back," I said quietly, leaning away from Carlisle's firm tone. I looked at him sadly and turned away again.

"Bella, I know this is hard for you," he said, his voice softer. "But you have to _try_. If you want to overcome this then you need to put some effort into enjoying life again. Otherwise, you won't get better. And if you want that then I'll just leave; there is no point in helping someone who doesn't want it."

"No!" I said, turning back to him, panicked. He really would leave if I wanted him to. He was not threatening me, he was not doing it just to trick me into cheering up. He said it so honestly, so seriously; and it scared me more than anything. "I… I want your help. I want to feel like me again."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Carlisle said, flashing a dazzling smile. "And I think that what you really need right now is some relaxation and a change of scenery." "Change of scenery?" I asked, puzzled. "Where are we going?"

"Not far," he replied, getting up from his usual seat in the armchair and walking over to one of the front windows. "If word has gotten out about what happened then I'm sure you don't want to be around everyone in town, and it would look especially odd if you were walking with me. Even more so because this is the one day Forks has decided to let the sun out," he said, pulling back the curtain slightly so a ray of sunshine fell across the living room. "I wonder what people would say if they saw me walking down the street sparkling? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't trust me as their doctor ever again."

"You're going to let me see you in the sun? Really?" I asked, curious, eager, and puzzled all at the same time.

"If you'd like to," he said slowly, clearly confused. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Oh… um, I don't know," I said, feeling my face flush in embarrassment. "It's just, another vampire kind of made it clear that he doesn't like other people seeing him sparkle, as it reminds him of what a 'monster' he truly is."

"Ah, I see," said Carlisle, catching on. "Well, Miss Swan, while I'm fully aware that I am not human, I do not think of myself as a monster, but simply one who has been dealt a different card in life. Do you see me, or my ability to sparkle, as monstrous?"

"No," I said honestly, listening to his words.

"Then I cannot find any reason why you shouldn't see me in the sun," Carlisle stated matter-of-factly, smiling again. "So, shall we?" He held out a hand for me, waiting patiently. I stared at him, unsure of whether or not his plan would work. After a second's thought, I hesitantly placed my hand in his and allowed him to help me off the couch.

"I guess a trip outside won't hurt," I said, following him to the front door.

As soon as I stepped outside the sunlight washed over me. The warmth of the rays felt foreign and strong on my skin. I walked further away from the house, blinking in the bright light, the tall grass brushing against me with each step. It was hot for a September day and I felt slightly overheated, still being in my sweater from yesterday, so I pushed up the sleeves and allowed my pale skin to absorb the sun's warmth. Remembering that Carlisle had followed me out, I turned around to look for him and my jaw literally dropped at what I saw.

If I thought that Edward looked beautiful in the sun, then Carlisle must be a god. He sparkled as though there were a thousand diamonds embedded in his creamy white skin. Light danced around him as he brushed a hand through his blonde hair. I felt like his body was no more than a shell that would soon break, revealing a shimmering set of priceless gems underneath. He leaned against the porch railing, staring at me with a slight smile at my awed expression. The pearly teeth settled in nicely against his sparkling skin. It was just now that I realized he had changed clothes from the night before. He was now wearing a soft blue button down shirt and straight-legged black jeans, looking every bit the part of a supposed 23 year old. He undid the top button of his shirt, exposing more flawless, sparkling skin as pale as moonlight at the base of his neck. I always knew that Carlisle was handsome, blessed with the good looks of a movie star. But finally seeing him in the sun, I had to gasp at the stunning man before me. I think what really made him look even better than Edward at this moment was his confidence. He stood there, smiling, proud of who he was, not shrinking back into the shadows like a monster.

Chuckling, Carlisle descended the front steps, rolling up his sleeves too. He walked over to where I stood and tapped his fingers lightly on the bottom of my chin, closing my mouth. I was so transfixed, I hadn't even noticed that it was open.

"You'll catch flies, Bella," he said, amused. I blushed furiously, looking down at my feet.

"Sorry, it's just… wow," I said, lost for words. "If only everyone could look like this in the sun."

"Well, I'm glad you approve…. So, Bella, as your doctor my goal for you is to relax. Stress and negative emotions will not make you heal any faster. But as your friend, my goal for you is to have fun, even if it's just sitting outside and talking to me. I don't know if that's very much fun though," he said, giving me a crooked smile.

"I think you're fun to talk to," I said, both taken aback and pleased that Carlisle referred to himself as my friend. "You have so many interesting stories, I'd love to hear more of them."

"Then that's what we'll do," he said brightly.

I smiled back at him, curious as to what story of his past Carlisle was going to reveal to me. I was appreciative that he felt comfortable enough sharing glimpses of his life with me. I didn't know if they would make me feel any better in the long run; I was, after all, still heartbroken and intent on leaving Forks. But I did know that they would at least distract me, and let me know a little more about the vampire I felt so strangely at ease with.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys! Back with another chapter for all my lovely readers! I'll admit, I'm not quite sure about this chapter. It was a bit difficult to write, and I feel like I just didn't get it done very well. It may be a bit OOC too, which is the last thing I want. Oh well, as long as you guys like it I'm happy :) Please Please Please leave a review telling me what you think! I have 73 so far, and I can practically taste 100 (om nom nom!). And lastly, I get my SAT scores back tomorrow, so I'll tell you what I got the next time I update, which will probably be sometime between this weekend and next wednesday-ish hopefully. Love each and every one of you so much! Don't forget to review, it makes my heart flutter :')

**acw1**: Yes, this will be an eventual C&B pairing. I just want it to be gradual and realistic, but you can expect some sort of relationship :)

**AbbeNormal**: First let me say I love your username! Second, thank you so much for your review, I loved it! I love Edward too, so much, but I do like the unexpected, stranger pairings. And I find Carlisle to be so sexy haha ;) You are so right, love had no limits. And congradulations on 34 years of marriage, here's to hoping for many more. And yes, I would keep that husband of yours off this site! ;) I'm glad I have such a wide range of readers, and that everyone can find something special in both Twilight and FanFiction, no matter their age. I myself am only 17 and have (obviously) not experienced the joys of marriage, but I am in a relationship of 5 months so far and I can only hope it continues to flourish and I one day have a special relationship like yours.

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Bella's POV

I traipsed through the overgrown grass as I followed Carlisle around the side of the house and to the backyard. He had said he was going to take me to a place he liked to go to when he needed to think and clear his head. He said it was relaxing and beautiful; just what I needed. He led me through the large backyard, past the three story-tall window that made up the entire rear wall of the house. I peered in through the dusty glass to the white walls inside before turning and jogging to meet Carlisle's fast pace.

We had reached the edge of a long, winding river about one hundred yards away from the house. I looked around but didn't see a bridge or any other way to cross the swirling waters. I looked at the vampire next to me apprehensively. He smiled reassuringly and moved closer to me.

"May I?" he asked, holding out his arms in front of him. That was a nice change for me; usually Edward would just sling me onto his back without considering to ask whether I wanted to or not. I nodded slowly, awkwardly shuffling closer to Carlisle. In one swift movement he had scooped me up into his arms bridal-style, one arm around my back and the other keeping a tight hold underneath my knees. He held me right against his chest, the strong muscles under his shirt like marble. The sudden motion made my bruise throb painfully, and I bit my lip, nestling my face into Carlisle's shoulder. The close proximity caused a wave of his scent to wash over me, and my head spun from lack of oxygen as I held in the aroma.

"Comfortable?" the vampire asked, smiling down at me. I nodded weakly and pushed my face closer into his neck, not wanting to see the sickening blur of colors as he launched himself across the river. He chuckled, holding me tighter as he started to run towards the edge of the waters. The wind whipped through my hair as I felt him leave the ground for a split second, before slamming back onto the earth's surface. While the impact was not pleasant, it was definitely a lot smoother than any other time I had been carried by a vampire. Carlisle's grip on me loosened slightly as he repositioned me in his arms, and I looked out tentatively, still dizzy from the trip. My eyes grew wide at the beauty that stood before me. We had arrived on the opposite side of the river and were standing in an open field that let in a pool of sunlight. Several weeping cherry trees dotted the clearing, providing a small amount of shade in the otherwise brightly-lit area. Their sweeping arms stretched wide, the light pink petals cascading towards the ground. The grass was a bit overgrown, just like the front yard, but it looked perfect, like it was supposed to be that way. A dark green forest reached out towards the back edge of the field, its cedar, oak, and pine trees beckoning travelers forward. The vast Olympic Mountain range, dark purple in color with snow-capped tips, could be seen peeking out over the tree tops like a picturesque mural.

"It's so perfect here…" I breathed, looking around the clearing. Carlisle lowered his arms and let me down, steadying my return to the ground by placing an arm around my waist. His skin pressed coolly through the fabric of my sweater before he removed his grip. "It looks like the meadow that…." I couldn't continue; it broke my heart all over again to think about the place I first saw _him _in the sun, the place we first kissed, the place we fell in love. But Carlisle was being so kind, taking me to his special place, trying to set my mind at ease. So I fought back the tears that were threatening to spill over before he could see them and forced a smile on my face. "It's beautiful," I said simply, turning to look at him. He smiled back at me, nodding.

"I'll show you where I like to think here," he said, walking past me. "I think you'll like it, too." He strode through the field gracefully, stopping when he reached a large weeping cherry tree halfway across the clearing and off to the left. He sat down under the canopy of branches and leaned his back against the thick trunk, bringing one leg up to his chest and resting his arm on his knee casually. Sunlight filtered through the pink petals of the tree, causing Carlisle's skin to sparkle where the shade did not cover him. It was as though the tree was dressed in diamonds rather than foliage. I was immediately lost in thought, admiring the way the sunlight played off his body and wondering how I would look as a vampire in the sun. Carlisle waved me over to him, breaking my reverie. I trekked across the clearing, sitting down under the tree when I reached him.

"So, I believe I promised you a story," he said, throwing me a grin before he leaned his head back against the trunk and closed his eyes. It was so fascinating to see him like this; he usually came off as so professional and mature, but right now he was so relaxed and nonchalant. It seemed to lift the years right off of him, and I saw him yet again as the 23 year old he was supposed to be. I guess with the pressure of being the head of the coven off of him right now, it was easier to be at peace. Of course, he did have to deal with my emotional instability, and I felt a twinge of guilt. "I know that you were told the general story of how I became a vampire and moved to Forks, but is there anything that sparked your interest?"

"Well," I said slowly, thinking of something good to ask him. "I would like to know more about what you did in Europe, after you became a vampire."

"In general, or do you want a specific adventure?" he asked, smiling upwards, eyes still closed.

"A specific adventure," I said eagerly.

"Hmmm…" he said, thinking. "Well, I'm guessing that you're familiar with J.D. Salinger's _Catcher in the Rye_?"

"Of course," I said. I had read it last year in school, and it is now a favorite of mine.

"Do you remember the Robert Burns poem in the story, that Holden kept referencing? _Coming Thro' the Rye_?"

"'Should a body meet a body coming through the rye,'" I recited. "I love that poem, especially the last line-"

"'Should a body kiss a body, the thing is a body's own,'" Carlisle stated before I could finish. "That's the English translation, anyway. Well, sometime during my studies in 18th century Italy I decided to travel to Scotland. And who should I meet, but Robert Burns himself."

"You met Robert Burns?" I asked, shocked. Carlisle's vast knowledge of literature never ceased to amaze me, and the list of legendary writers he has met seemed endless.

"Actually, I became quite good friends with him. I was there when he penned _Coming Thro' the Rye_. I sort of helped him write it. Although I'm not taking any of the credit as my own," he said hastily, finally opening his golden eyes and looking at me.

"You helped Robert Burns write his most famous poem?" I asked, mouth open.

"I just said what was on my mind as he wrote it, and he incorporated some of my ideas. It really wasn't much," he said humbly. "But the real adventure happened the night after he wrote it. You see, Robert knew about vampires." "He did?" I asked, surprised. "Did he know about you?" "Indeed," he said. "I would often tell him about what it was like to be a vampire. It was inspiration for one of his poems, _Bannockburn_. Many of the lines in the poem hinted at the vampire lifestyle. 'But soon the sun broke through the heath, and lighted up that field of death… We will drain our dearest veins, but they shall be free… Let us do or die.'"

I watched his face light up as he remembered the past he had to keep hidden from so many people. I smiled, honored that he chose to share some of his life with me.

"Anyway, back to the story. Later that night, after he finished the poem, we went out to sing the praises. Naturally, I don't drink, but that didn't stop Robert from indulging in a little celebratory whiskey," he said, winking at me before continuing. "When we left the pub it was well after midnight. Robert and I were walking down the streets of South Ayrshire when I realized that we were being followed. Robert wasn't exactly alert, as you can imagine, so I picked him up and ran as fast and discreetly as I could. I knew that whatever was watching us was not human. I was nearly in Dumfries and Galloway, the southernmost region of Scotland, when I stopped running. But I felt that the presence had come with us. And now I could smell what it was: a vampire."

I sat up on my knees and moved closer to Carlisle, now fully immersed in the excitement of his story. I couldn't believe all the things he had experienced.

"The vampire must have realized that I sensed him, because he made himself known right after that. He stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight, directly in the middle of the deserted street. I will never forget what he looked like. His red eyes pierced through the night, cold and heartless. His black hair was wild and tangled, his nails pointed and yellow. He wore nothing but black. He was the true epitome of the stereotypical evil vampire. I was over 100 years old at the time, but I had never felt so young and helpless. There was nothing but hate in this man's expression. He came forward and told me that he was part of a centuries-old coven who knew Robert was aware of the existence of vampires, and that he had to be killed. He said that humans could not know of vampires; not only were they unequal, but any mortal that knew of us would surely not be able to keep the secret. The entire time he addressed me alone, as if Robert did not even deserve to be spoken to by a vampire. I argued that Robert had discovered the existence of vampires well before my arrival and had not told a soul, so clearly his coven was more at fault than we were. As you can probably guess, he didn't really like what I had to say. He attacked, going for me first so he could get to Robert, and I have to say that was the one point in my life when I truly thought that I would die."

I couldn't stifle a sharp intake of breath, leaning towards Carlisle as he recounted his dangerous adventure. Even though I knew that he was fine (he was sitting right in front of me, after all), I was worried for his safety the entire time. He smiled at my anxious expression and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm okay, Bella," he said reassuringly, squeezing my shoulder gently. "If this story ended badly, I wouldn't be here telling it to you."

I blushed, the warmth of my face counteracting the icy hand on my shoulder. I frowned slightly when he removed it, but forgot about it when he continued.

"Long story short, there was a quick fight. I was not as skilled as he, as I believed in nonviolence. But some things cannot be settled with words, especially when someone you care about is in danger, so I did what I had to. I held my own, surprisingly, and escaped the fight with a few injuries, leaving my opponent unconscious in an alley after he promised to leave the human alive. I picked up the obviously terrified Robert and ran all the way to England," he said, chuckling at this memory. "He stayed there for over a month before he would go back to Scotland, despite my word that the vampire would not hurt him. He was always a paranoid man, and this clearly didn't help his case. Not that I could blame him. But I had told the vampire that killing Robert would only threaten to expose our world even more, since he was a well-known writer and his disappearance would not go undetected. The Volturi would have gotten involved, no doubt, and that was the last thing that vampire wanted to face. So eventually we parted ways, Robert returning to Scotland and I venturing to England again before going back to Italy. We stayed in touch up until his death."

"That's amazing," I said, in awe. "I can't imagine everything you've been through. To think, that's just one small story you've lived. And Robert was so lucky to have you as a friend."

"Well, he was a remarkable friend himself. He was always so supportive of my lifestyle; much like you, Bella. I don't believe I've ever truly thanked you for keeping my family's true existence a secret."

"It's nothing, really," I said. "I would never dream of telling anyone. And it's really me who should be thanking you, for your feeding choice. Thanks to your 'vegetarianism,' I'm not dead right now."

Carlisle laughed, his voice musical and amused. "Oh Bella," he said, smiling. "You are truly something else. And I mean that in a good way. Not many people would think to thank me for not drinking their blood. I never even heard that one in England, and I'll admit that I heard some interesting things in 17th century London." He shook his head, lost in thought.

"You were originally from London, right?" I asked, curious. Carlisle was doing a fantastic job of distracting me. He nodded, and I went on. "So why don't you speak with an English accent? I would have guessed that you would, since you spent so much time there."

"Well, I did have an English accent for a while, mainly when I was first transformed into a vampire in London. I kept it the majority of the time I was in Europe, but it sort of faded when I came to America. After living in the United States for so long, I have adapted a more Americanized speaking voice. I still have my original accent, though, as it was the one I was most familiar with as a human. Why? Would you like to hear it?" he asked, tilting his head to one side.

"Absolutely," I answered, thoroughly beside myself. I had never been so interested in one person's history. But I guess there is a lot of noteworthy history to reveal when you've lived for over 300 years.

"Well, what do you think?" he said, his voice now in a light British accent. His words flowed in a new way, the foreign accent wrapping itself warmly around his speech. It was enchanting, disclosing yet another side to this man.

"It's been a while since I've spoken like this. It feels a little strange," he said, laughing. "It's nice, though. Do you think I should keep it from now on?"

"I wouldn't object to it," I said, smiling. "But I do like your regular voice, too. It's too hard of a decision for me."

"Well, I think I'll just talk like this for now," he said, returning to his American accent. "It would be a bit difficult to explain to everyone in Forks how I suddenly developed an English accent. But you never know where I'll find myself in the years to come. Maybe I'll go back to England."

I noticed how he said "I," failing to mention the rest of the Cullens. I found this odd, but shook it off as I thought of my own future. I wish I had the luxury of immortality like Carlisle; it would be amazing to travel wherever I wanted, forever. That was yet another reason I wanted to become a vampire. I still held that desire, even though Edward no longer wanted me. And who knows, maybe he would want me back knowing that I could take care of myself as a vampire, and he would no longer be putting me in danger. I sighed and leaned my back against the tree trunk next to Carlisle, knowing that it would probably never happen. Any of it. The only vampire I had left was sitting right next to me, and he did not condone transforming humans unless it was necessary. And soon he would be gone, too. And so would I, far away from this town. In that moment, I felt compelled to tell Carlisle the truth, of my plans to leave Forks. He had opened up and told me so much about himself; he was being so honest, and I felt that it was my job to be the friend he found in me and tell him what was on my mind.

"Carlisle?" I said quietly, turning my head to look at him.

"Mmm?" he responded, eyes closed again. He really did seem at peace here, more relaxed than I had ever seen him. I took a deep breath.

"After I… get better," I said, choosing my words carefully, "I'm leaving."

"Leaving." He opened his eyes and looked straight into mine, gold bonding to brown. It was not a question. It was as though he knew all along of my plans. He urged me to go on with his eyes.

"Leaving Forks. It's just… not good for me here. I feel empty, and this town will surely drive me insane. Look what it did to me within a few hours of you guys leaving. I can't stay here and be reminded. And beyond that, I can't be around these people anymore. You were the only true friends I had. All that's left is Charlie, and he won't know what to do with me when I'm in this state. You're doing wonders in helping me, Carlisle; I feel like I can live on after all this. But I just don't fit in with anyone, and I hate it. Nothing will be the same again, and I just want to run away from everything and be alone. I know that's cowardly, but it's my choice. I've made up my mind. This is what's best for me. After I'm healed, and after you feel like I'm stable enough to be on my own again, I'm leaving Forks and never coming back." I finished with tears in my eyes, blurring the pale face in front of me. Carlisle's expression was not shocked. It was not reproachful. It was just… heartbreaking.

"Bella, I will never forgive myself for what my family has done to you," he said, his voice dripping with sorrow. Sunlight was still streaming through spaces in the tree branches, and his skin sparkled despite the darkness of the conversation. He reached out a hand and cupped the side of my face. His palm felt arctic against my overheated cheek, but it was the most comforting thing I had felt in a long time. "I do not agree with you saying that you do not fit in anywhere, and I don't think running away from everyone to live in solitude is the answer. There are so many people that love you, whether you realize it or not. But I can't stop you from leaving, if it is truly what you want to do. And maybe you're right. Maybe this town is not the best-"

Carlisle froze mid sentence, his hand stiffening against my face. His face was serious, almost alarmed.

"Carlisle?" I asked softly, reaching out to touch the hand on my face. He pulled it away before I could touch it, holding a finger to his lips to let me know to be quiet as he glanced around the field quickly. He stood up in a slightly crouched position, sweeping the clearing with his intense golden eyes, which seemed to darken to a stormy black with each passing second. Silence pressed against my ears painfully. He motioned for me to get up, and I obliged, edging closer to him anxiously.

He definitely sensed something. He kept his eyes trained on the forest across the field, deep in concentration. Noticing me hovering, confused and fearful, next to him, he turned to me with a grave face. He quickly moved towards me, placing his arms protectively around my tiny frame. He hugged me close against him and backed up to the large tree trunk so we were hidden in more shadow. I hugged him back, terrified at his lack of communication. What did he sense? I looked up at him, and he tore his gaze away from the forest again to look down at me.

"Carlisle, what is it?" I whispered uneasily. Nothing flustered a vampire unless it was bad.

"Remember that story I was just telling you?" he murmured, looking back to that same spot at the edge of the woods. I nodded against his chest, pushing my body as close to his as humanly possible. "Well, I have that feeling again. I don't think we're alone."


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys! Sorry this chapter took me a little longer to get out, things have been crazy. My guinea pig, Minnie, who I've had for 8 years, died the other day :'( And I just wasn't completely sure that I liked the way this chapter ended- it was a little hard to write while still sounding realistic/ in character. Oh well, I hope you guys love it! And I finally got my SAT scores... out of a possible 2400, I got a 1950! I think that's pretty good, so I'm proud of myself lol. To all of my frequent reviewers, I love you and I wish I could send you all Carlisle-shaped lollipops ;) To everyone else reading the story, keep reading and reviewing! It's my inspiration for this story. Love you all ~Karen

**Sabishii Kage Tenshi:** Don't apologize! I love all the questions, please ask as many as you want. All will be answered soon :)

**StormDragonfly:** First, thanks for the compliments! I was hoping that the slow pace would be better, so it is more realistic. And of course I appreciate any and all constructive criticism. It helps me see what my readers are thinking and write to the best of my abilities :) As for the cherry trees, I had no idea when they blossomed lol. I just thought it would be a very pretty image. Thanks for letting me know, though ;) And maybe it even gives it a more magical quality, since they shouldn't be like that in the fall. As for the Volturi issue, I was worried that that may be confusing :( I see what you're saying, but in the first chapter of New Moon Bella and Edward are watching Romeo and Juliet. (Before he leaves Forks) Edward begins to talk about how if Bella hadn't survived James' attack, he would have had to kill himself, and mentions the Volturi. "Well, I wasn't going to live without you...so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi." [-Edward] "What is a Volturi?" [-Bella] "The Volturi are a family... a very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle live with them briefly..." [-Edward] (Page 19). Not an easy thing to remember, since it comes so early in the book, so it could definitely be confusing. Sorry for that D: Hope I cleared it up. Thanks for adding my story to your favorites! I respect you very deeply as a reader, I see you review my story quite frequently, so thank you!

**AbbeNormal: **I simply adore Young Frankenstein (It's pronounced "Fronkensteen!"), and David sounds so cute! What a fantastic husband :) And that is not crazy at all, I think it is beautiful. I'm glad that your prayers were answered.

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Bella's POV

I nearly fainted at Carlisle's words. Not alone? A shiver ran down my spine as I remembered being hunted down by James only a few months ago. I only barely escaped that, and that was with all the Cullens' help. How could we face someone-or something- with only one vampire instead of seven? I buried my face into Carlisle's chest so he couldn't see my terrified expression; his body felt like marble against me, alleviating some of my fear. His arms were tight around me as he slowly started to walk back towards the house.

"Bella, I don't want to frighten you," Carlisle began- _a little too late for that,_ I thought- "but I believe we are in the company of some fellow vampires."

"Vampires?" I whispered frantically, stressing the 's.' "As in more than one?"

"I sense two at the moment. But they don't seem to be doing anything menacing; just watching."

"That's not strange at all," I said, trying to sound sarcastic. I was unsuccessful; only panic came through.

"Bella, I know you have suffered through much at the hands of vampires, but I want you to please calm down-"

"Calm down?" I choked out, my voice rising. "How can I calm down? There are vampires stalking us in the shadows, planning who knows what!" "Bella!" Carlisle said forcefully, pushing me away from his body and holding me at arms length. He gazed into my eyes, his own golden irises blazing in dark determination. "We don't even know what they want with us. They most likely mean no harm, and are just interested that they found another vampire. Please relax; I do hope you know that if their intent is anything less than friendly, I will protect you with everything I have. I would never let anything happen to you." He loosened his grip on me, running his hands down my arms gently. The fire in his eyes was gone, replaced with a warm comfort. Once again I got that feeling like I was going to collapse into his arms, but this time I wished that I actually would. "Now then, I think perhaps it is time we left. I'd rather not hang around and wait to see what they want," he said quietly, nudging his head towards the forest. I nodded quickly and began walking by his side to where the house was visible.

I felt home free by the time we were a few feet from the river's edge. Sadly, I was mistaken.

"Well, hello there," I heard a dangerously enchanting voice say behind me. It was a woman's voice, thick with a pleasantly exotic accent I had never heard before. It sounded like it reigned from a country in Northern Europe. Carlisle grabbed my hand and spun me around with him to face the source of the voice, pulling me close next to him. Standing before us were two of the most beautiful people I had ever seen in my life. They stood side by side, almost identical in height; the man on the right was slightly taller than the woman, no doubt the speaker, on the left. I could only guess that they were related, they looked so similar. The woman had long black hair that cascaded down her back in gentle waves, stopping a few inches above her curved hips. Her lips were colored a deep red, matching the scarlet orbs that lay suspended in the whites of her eyes, which took a stunning almond shape, framed by dark mascara-coated lashes. Her skin, paler than any other vampire I had ever seen, was sparkling brilliantly in the sun's rays. The clothes she wore reflected many years of wealth. Her sleeveless shirt was a deep tyrian purple, the silky material hugging her tightly while the thick straps hung off her shoulders. The scooped neckline showed off more of her radiantly pale skin, only interrupted by a silver, emerald-encrusted necklace. The shirt continued over her hips, slowly giving way to a lacey bottom hem. A black skirt fell halfway down her thighs. Her long legs were covered by black tights, not quite opaque but barely letting any of her creamy skin show through. She stood tall with her hands on her hips, leaning slightly towards the stunning young man beside her. His dark hair, identical in shade to hers, was grown out past his ears, just above his shoulders and casually pushed back, giving off a royal yet carefree look. His light skin accented his delicate features, his jaw sloping smoothly and joining his neck. His dark red eyes, just as perfect as his companion's, glinted in the sun. His lips were curled up into a fastidious smile, directed at me. His clothes were no less exquisite than the woman's. He wore a clean white button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up slightly revealing more shining skin. A dark green vest sat on top of the shirt, the highest button undone. Black slacks ran down his legs, faintly creased. His arms were folded across his muscled chest. An impressive silver ring with a large emerald jewel in the center glittered brightly from his right ring finger, matching his partner's necklace. Both vampires were close in height to Carlisle and extremely slender. However, they were in no way weak-looking. The man's toned body was visible beneath his airy posture, and the woman's frame curved nicely around her breasts and hips. They looked no older than twenty-five.

"I'm sorry; we didn't meant to startle you. Please forgive us," said the young woman gently, taking a step forward and holding her hands up. "We were simply passing through, looking for a place to rest when we sensed another vampire nearby. Our curiosity got the better of us." She looked at Carlisle sweetly, then turned her gaze onto me. Her expression was slightly wondering, but friendly nonetheless. Making a face as though she realized something, she shook her head and laughed. It was a pretty sound, dancing around us in the field. "Oh, how rude of me. Intruding like this, and we never even introduced ourselves. My name is Kindra, and this is my twin brother Andrus."

"Charmed," said Andrus brightly, speaking for the first time. His accent was just as lovely as his sister's. He looked at me, a dazzling expression on his handsome face.

"We are of the Lepik royal family in Estonia. We have recently decided to venture to the United States and see the country we have heard so much about in Europe. We are very avid travelers," Kindra continued, smiling widely. Her white teeth flashed in the sun. "May I enquire as to what your names are?"

"Carlisle Cullen," Carlisle said, extending his free hand kindly. He seemed relaxed and amicable, but the grip he had on my hand was becoming uncomfortably tight. Kindra shook it lightly, stepping back as Andrus grasped Carlisle's hand firmly. She turned to me, still smiling.

"And your name, my dear?"

"Bella," I said cautiously, holding onto Carlisle closely.

"Delighted to meet you, Bella," she said, extending her hand out for me. I looked at Carlisle quickly, and back to Kindra. I gave her my other hand and shook hers carefully. Her skin was cool and very soft. They seemed nice enough, but I was still nervous. I was well aware that by presenting my arm to a vampire, it may be ripped off in the next second. Andrus approached me next.

"Bella," he said softly, taking my hand in his. "If I am correct, that translates to 'beautiful' in Italian. How appropriate…" With that he placed his lips gently to my hand, his intriguing eyes turning up towards my face. He broke the kiss, his lips curving into another smile. My heart raced, and Carlisle's grip yet again crushed my fingers painfully. Kindra stepped closer to us again, looking at me curiously.

"Forgive me if I seem forward, Carlisle, but I am truly fascinated by your… human companion," she said, arching a perfect, jet black eyebrow and admiring me. I felt awkward under her stare, and chose to look at Andrus instead. Wrong choice; he was eyeing me as well, his stunning gaze drawing me in. He grinned and winked at me; my heart nearly exploded. "I overheard part of your conversation earlier, and it is clear that she is aware of your vampirism. May I ask about your relationship? It's just that one rarely finds human and vampire spending time together in peace." Her red eyes glimmered brightly.

"When I was changed into a vampire, I vowed to follow a life of vegetarianism, so to speak. I do not drink from humans, only animals."

"Really?" asked Kindra, now truly interested. She peered at the golden hue of Carlisle's eyes and allowed him to continue.

"Therefore, I have developed a sort of immunity to the scent of human blood. It no longer calls to me. I can have mortal friends and relationships, and Bella is no exception. She is a part of my family."

"How so?" Kindra pushed, engrossed in Carlisle's methods. Carlisle's hand twitched over mine, now so strong that my fingers were beginning to turn purple. To my relief he let go of my hand, switching his posture so he had his arm firmly around my waist instead. His hand felt arctic against my hip, and I shuddered in his grasp.

"She is my mate," he said without a second's hesitation. I sucked in air sharply, reeling at his response; I had definitely not expected that one. I turned my face up towards him quickly, confused. He dug his fingertips into my hip roughly; a warning to act normal. Catching on, I turned back to face the two vampires and smiled contentedly, leaning easily into Carlisle's protective hold. Kindra looked surprised; Andrus looked slightly annoyed, but quickly composed his expression back into a placid one.

"Really?" said Kindra again, looking back and forth between us.

"Really?" echoed her twin, in a poorly-disguised sullen tone.

"Indeed," said Carlisle, rubbing his hand up and down my side lovingly. I moved subconsciously closer, enjoying the contact.

"Well, then, we shall leave you two to savor the beautiful day. There are not many places us vampires can go in this light, no? I had heard this area was usually cloudy," Kindra said thoughtfully.

"It usually is. You seem to have caught it on an off day," Carlisle said, smiling.

"I see," she mused. "No matter. We have to hunt anyway, so we will be in the woods for the remainder of the day. Don't worry," she said, seeing the panicked look on my face. "We wouldn't dare attract attention and hunt any humans near your home. Perhaps we will actually try feeding from animals this time. It is such an interesting concept, right brother?"

"Quite fascinating," Andrus replied, clasping his hands together.

"And if that doesn't work out, I'm sure there are plenty of stray humans across the mountain range," she continued, nodding back towards the picturesque scene behind her. "Well, we will be in Washington for a while longer, to get used to the new territory. Maybe we can stop by and visit later. You have both been so kind to us, and are truly wonderful company."

"We would love to see you again," Carlisle said, smiling.

"Likewise," Andrus said in his charming Estonian accent, matching his smile. He nodded at Carlisle, and turned to me. "Ciao, Bella," he purred. And with one last glimpse of their sparkling skin, they had turned gracefully on their heels in unison and were running back to the forest.

Carlisle stood stock-still beside me, an unmoving granite statue. He waited, probably until the twins were as far away from us as he liked, before turning to face me seriously.

"I think it's time we went back to the house," he said quietly. It was not a suggestion, but a command. He looked preoccupied, lost in the confines of his mind. I nodded obediently and he smiled at me, his eyes a warm liquid amber once again. "Up you go," he said, laughing lightly before scooping me up into his arms. He cradled me into his icy, stone chest and began to run towards the house. I winced as he threw himself over the river, my ever-worsening bruise knocking painfully into his body. I couldn't help but whimper as his fast steps caused my injury to ache.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, looking down at me in concern but failing to slow his pace.

"Stop," I gasped, nearly in tears from the stinging on my side. "We need to stop…"

Carlisle immediately stopped running, still holding me in his arms. He was staring at me in a mix of confusion and worry. I struggled to get out of his grasp and he obliged, setting me down carefully on the ground. We were right in front of the house; I hadn't even noticed.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked anxiously, moving closer to me. I hugged my arms around my ribs loosely and backed away.

"Nothing," I said, the painful agony searing through my side. I began to walk up the porch stairs, hunched over. "I'm just a little dizzy from the running," It wasn't entirely false; my head was now spinning, and it was making me nauseous. I couldn't walk in a straight line. The pain from my bruise was only getting worse with each step I took. I managed to reach the front door and grabbed for the handle, catching it with difficulty and narrowly avoiding hitting my head into the doorframe. Clumsy Bella chooses the perfect times to show up. I stumbled into the house and made my over to the couch, collapsing on it while being careful not to land on my bruise. I was determined to be strong; Carlisle couldn't know about this, otherwise no one would trust that I am capable of taking care of myself. He had hurried into the house behind me and was now watching me closely, his eyes troubled.

"I'm fine, really… I just need some sleep," I said quietly, averting my eyes away from his look of disbelief. He was away from the window, and there was no sunlight to illuminate his skin in a thousand beautiful crystals. I wanted to return to that picture, and closed my eyes, wishing for slumber.

Carlisle's POV

I watched Bella's disturbed sleep closely from my usual position in the armchair near the piano. There was something she was not telling me, something completely unrelated to the situation with Edward. I shook my head, not wanting to think too deeply about this. If something was truly wrong, she knew she could tell me.

I turned my thoughts instead to the vampire twins we had been visited by a few hours ago. There was something strange about them. They seemed friendly enough, but I didn't quite buy it. Especially the way that Andrus looked at Bella; it's not like I could blame him, though. _She _is_ a very beautiful human, even if she herself doesn't realize it, _I thought carefully. Very carefully.

I shook my head, frustrated. Bad thoughts again. I was beginning to misinterpret them. There was no safe territory for my mind.

I started when I heard Bella beginning to wake. At least this time she did not scream herself awake. Happy at that lone fact, I looked over at the couch. Bella sat up slowly, her long brown hair falling messily over her face. She brushed it back with a pale hand, revealing an upset expression. She looked around quickly, probably confused. She had gone to sleep a while ago, when it was still light out. Now the darkness crept in through the windows, the moonlight bathing her in an ethereal glow. Her wide, doe-like eyes spotted me and she smiled meekly.

"Do you always watch me when I sleep?" she asked perceptively.

"I have to keep an eye on you, Bella. Who knows what trouble you'll get into if I don't," I said, smiling.

She grinned, but her face swiftly turned serious.

"Why did you tell Kindra and Andrus that I was your mate?" she questioned, right to the point. I frowned, caught off guard.

"Because I was worried. Two vampires wandering around, just 'traveling,' are probably up to something, no matter how nice they appear. They had already found you, and as vampires possibly wanted to…. claim you," I said carefully, not wanting to scare her. "And as you are well aware, the scent of your blood is particularly…desirable. The best thing I could do was claim you as my own. By saying you were my mate, that immediately meant you belonged to another vampire and were in no way available for other purposes. Vampires do not start trouble with another's mate, unless they want to get their heads ripped off. Literally."

"Oh," she said, her face twisted in apprehensive understanding. My answer seemed to appease her, but not so much myself. That was only half of the reason. As for the other part, I had no idea why I said it at the time. It had just come out by accident. I was feeling extremely protective and possessive over Bella, and it seemed like a logical thing to say. But there was no way I could tell her that; it might come across wrong, and the last thing I wanted her to think was that I felt emotions for her that I didn't.

"Carlisle?" Bella said softly. She wasn't looking at me; instead she was staring intently at the stitched-up wound on her wrist.

"Yes?" I asked, curious at this sudden change in tone.

"I lied." She finally looked up at me, her brown eyes defeated. "There is something wrong." She reached for the bottom of her sweater and slowly pulled the red material up. Completely confused, I raised my eyebrows until something caught my attention. A dark, swelling bruise ran up Bella's entire right side. She cried out in pain and dropped her shirt back down, hiding the hideously agonizing mark. My brow furrowed in distressed shock; I had no idea she was suffering from another injury, as I of course had not wanted to invade her privacy and check the first time.

"Oh, Bella," I said, feeling strange as I heard the worry thick in my voice. Knowing she was probably in pain, I ran to the corner of the room to get my doctor's bag. I had left it there from when I took care of her the first time. I walked at vampire-speed to the edge of the couch and kneeled down next to her, pushing her gently onto her back. Taking out a syringe and a small marked bottle, I loaded the needle with pain medication. "Bella, you're going to feel a slight pinching," I said, before gradually injecting her with the serum. She squirmed underneath me for a few seconds before finally relaxing. She had a silly half-smile on her face as the medicine worked its magic.

I pushed her shirt back up, careful not to hit the bruise, and stopped just below her breasts. She whimpered as my hands brushed against the soft, exposed skin. Fearing that I had hurt her, I withdrew my hands, only to have her pull them back.

"No, it felt good," she said, her eyes closed tightly. I raised my eyebrows, wondering exactly what she meant by that. Her hands covered mine as she placed them back onto her stomach. I ran my hands slowly up her warm skin, stopping once again just below her breasts. I could see her bra showing slightly as her shirt raised even more and I looked away, feeling absolutely tasteless. This was unbecoming of me; it was like I was taking advantage of Bella in her weakened state. I had no feelings towards her that would make me want to act like this. But her skin was so smooth, dancing like fire against my frozen palms… No! Had I gone insane? I seemed to have forgotten this was my son's ex-girlfriend, someone who looked at me like a doctor, a friend, maybe even in a fatherly way. It was just the pain medication talking. Neither of us felt like _that_ towards each other. She was still in love with Edward.

"Carlisle," Bella whined, directing my attention back to her. I got back to the task at hand, reaching for the bandages in my bag. I sighed, realizing that the ribs were bruised beneath her skin as well. Rather than icing the bruise first, I settled on pressing my hands against it lightly. Bella arched her back at the contact, pushing herself up and squirming again.

"Almost over, Bella," I said softly, looking at her in the moonlight. She looked so peaceful. Her chocolate colored eyes were imploring, her dark brown hair fanned out underneath her. Her pale skin was illuminated in the darkness almost as much as my own. Try as I might to suppress my thoughts, I couldn't deny the fact that Bella was very pretty. And with her laying here, totally in my control, I found it very hard to concentrate on anything but my unusual urges. I was being driven to the brink of insanity. She wasn't my son's girlfriend anymore. She was a legal adult, almost as old as I was in human years. But that did not make it ok. I leaned towards her uncovered midriff, running my fingers down the delicate skin. She shivered beneath me, completely out of character. While I was not attracted to the scent of human blood, she did smell incredible. Feeling impulsive and downright feral, I lowered my face closer to her body intent on brushing my lips against the unbruised part of her ribs, allowing them to travel down to the top of her stomach. I wanted nothing more than to taste her sweet skin, just once. Realizing what I was doing, I froze, my mouth just barely tickling her, breathing deeply. My icy breath blew against her body, chilling the exposed skin. She moaned weakly in response and closed her eyes again, going limp shortly after. Pulling away I chuckled, realizing that the pain medication, combined with my close proximity, had rendered her unconscious. I immediately stopped when I fully comprehended what I had almost done. I felt sick; I had been alone with Bella for just two days and it had resulted in this? True, I had known her for months, but I didn't even feel that way; I had no idea what had come over me. _It is just the recent separation from Esme, combined with the protective feelings I have for Bella's well-being, _I thought. I had not been this spontaneous and emotional since when I was first turned at age twenty-three. I had been on this Earth long enough to not be confused about things like this. And this was in no way fair to Bella. She was suffering from severe emotional trauma, and this was the last thing she truly wanted or needed. Sighing, I grabbed the bandages I was seeking before and began to wrap them carefully around the sleeping human's bruise. I pulled her shirt back down once I finished and made my way to the large staircase, ashamed of myself and more perplexed than ever. Halfway up the steps I gazed down at Bella, laying peacefully on the couch. _She can survive sleeping one night without me watching her,_ I thought tiredly before ascending the stairs in solemnity.


	10. Chapter 10

So wow, I feel like crap for taking so long to update. My apologies, I've just been so wrapped up in enjoying Summer. It's my fault, feel free to yell :( On the bright side, this is a pretty long chapter. But on the not-so-bright side, it's not my favorite. In fact, I kind of don't like it; I just feel like I couldn't properly capture the characters or the moments like I wanted to. But I'll leave it up to you to judge. On another note, thank you all soooo much for the reviews; I have now reached over 100! I never thought it would happen, I nearly cried, so thank each and every one of you, especially **OpiumCakes** for being the 100th reviewer! *Virtually hugs you* So who wants to see if we can hit 200 reviews? I know you can do it! And even if it doesn't happen, I love each and every one of you for taking the time to read my story. It really means the world to me :') With that, enjoy! (And I am currently trying to crank out chapter 11 as fast as I can in order to make up for this, so don't fret). ~Karen

**LadyGrelka**: Props to you for sort of predicting what will happen in this chapter, even though it wasn't exactly a prediction ;) Read on and you'll see what I mean!

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Carlisle's POV

I sat in my study, leaning back in the large leather chair behind my mahogany desk. My hands were still covering my face, palms pressing hard into my closed eyes. The same position I had been in all night, frozen like a piece of stone artwork for hours. The dark abyss of my mind was swallowing me up, torturing me as retribution for last night's happenings. Forget what I actually did (and almost did), the thoughts I had alone were enough to condemn me. I tried reasoning with myself, saying it was an accident, saying I was indulging Bella, trying to distract her from the pain. Saying it meant nothing. All were lies I fed myself, fueling the fire. I couldn't chance a repeat. What if I had kissed her? What if I couldn't stop, and continued on to her lips? What if she had been aware of what I was doing? My animalistic vampire instincts overruling the mind I had trained so well, going after something I inexplicably desired and therefore feared. Bella was intelligent. She was funny and quite pretty. We shared similar interests; she cared about me and my life, and vice versa. But that did not mean I was attracted to her in any way. It just meant that I wasn't blind, right?

I sighed, completely lost on what to do for the first time in many years. My mind was jumbled, an unsolved puzzle with missing pieces. The warning bells were going off in my head, telling me not to get any closer to Bella than I was already. But I couldn't help it; this was the first chance I had to actually get to know her as a person, not just my son's girlfriend. And she had proved to be an intriguing friend in our moments of isolation. How would things have turned out if she and Edward had just been friends, Esme and I already separated?

And then it clicked; or so I thought. When Edward introduced the coven to Bella, something changed. Emotional bonds grew stronger, and a trust developed between each of the family members (except perhaps Rosalie) and Bella. Our secret life was in her hands, and her fragile life in ours. When Edward decided we should leave to protect her, those ties were severed and the family who had grown so accustomed to them fell apart. The "children" are now disillusioned, Esme and I suddenly incompatible. The human that had shown us compassion, something I had strived for in all of my years as a vampire, was essentially holding the family together. Take her out of the picture and it shatters. And I feared that there was no fixing it, no going back to the way things were. Everyone was so hurt by this move that the once-strong bonds could never completely heal, as much as I wanted them to. That was why I was unconsciously conveying to myself that I was attracted to Bella. I was trying so hard to get her back in our lives somehow to fix what had been damaged and restore the coven we had built up. And since there was no way she was getting back with Edward and his adamant arrogance, I was making myself the bridge. Maybe if she was closer to me, the upside-down world would flip.

I couldn't let that happen, though. At least not in the way it had been. I wasn't going to use Bella to fix my family when she was still broken herself. I wasn't truly attracted to her like that, and I would have to ignore those urges my mind and body were screaming at me in favor of what's right. I cared deeply for Bella as a friend, and always a member of the Cullen family. I would strictly stick to that relationship with her, as well as be the doctor I knew could heal her.

I finally opened my eyes, glad that my thoughts were a little more clear. It still didn't help much, though. I still had to fight the lies I told myself and be no more to Bella than a friend, because that is all either of us honestly wanted. To seek the wrong kind of solace in a new companion simply to heal the broken heart was in no way right.

The gray gloom of another cloudy day in Forks was beginning to make its way into the study. The glass in the west-facing windows seemed like it would crack under the dreary pressure from outside. Shadows were cast into the deepest corners of the room where the towering bookshelves didn't quite reach, blending into the dark wooden wall panels. I felt like I was suffocating in here, and needed to get out. I stood up fluidly, placing my hands on the smooth wood of my desk. Just as I was about to move, I stopped and stood completely silent, straining my ears. A look a panic crept onto my face, destroying the usually calm disposition. I couldn't hear Bella's heartbeat anywhere in the house.

"With or without vampires, that girl attracts trouble like no other," I muttered absentmindedly to myself as I hurried towards the door. I flew down the stairs gracefully, glancing at the empty main room before throwing open the front door. I stood on the porch, listening for any sign of her. Smelling was pointless; the entire area was covered in her scent. I looked left and right, terrified that those two vampires had come back for her. _I should have stayed with her last night_, I thought. _I shouldn't have hid out in my study like a coward, blocking out everything else around me._

Finally, to my utter relief, a familiar heartbeat.

I scanned the front yard for the source of the sound, my eyes settling on a brown-haired figure far out on the right edge of the property. It only took literally a second to get to her, but it felt like much longer. She sat in the tall grass, leaning back on her palms.

"Bella," I said, scolding her lightly. "Don't run off like that without telling me. You had me nervous."

"I didn't even leave the yard," she said innocently.

"I know, but even the yard may not be safe right now. There are two vampires we know nothing about running around, and they seem to be interested in us. Mainly you," I said, looking at her. Her face paled, and I regretted worrying her unnecessarily. I gave her a reassuring smile and placed my hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, Bella. You're safe with me. Just let me know if you are going to leave the house so I don't mistakenly panic and send out a search party." I squeezed her shoulder comfortingly and she smiled, blushing.

"Sorry," she said softly.

"No need," I answered, sitting down next to her. "So, what brings you to the great outdoors?" She smiled weakly again.

"I was just thinking," she responded, pulling at a blade of grass. "I felt like I needed to get out of the house and organize my thoughts." Her mouth tugged down into a frown.

"I had a similar experience myself," I said. "Care to share some of those thoughts?"

"You first?" she asked, more a curious question than a challenge.

"Sure," I said warmly. This may open her up more to me about her negative emotions. But I had to be careful not to reveal any of those feelings for her I was mulling over in my head. "I was actually thinking about last night, and how proud of you I am for being truthful about your bruise. It takes a lot of bravery to handle something painful on your own, but it takes even more to ask for help. How are your ribs feeling, by the way?"

"Ok," she said, gingerly touching her hands to her ribs. "A little sore, but better after you bandaged them. It was kind of strange, last night…"

"Oh?" I said nervously, eyeing her thoughtful expression.

"Yea, after you gave me the pain medicine. Everything just seemed so… _nice_. It made me kind of confused; I was imagining things. At least, I think I was… it just made me a little loopy, I guess," she finished, grinning sheepishly.

"Pain medication can do that." I gave her a smile, but my insides were tying in knots. _Had _she been aware of what was going on? Or was she truly imagining other things? I felt sick thinking of the consequences that would occur should she know what had happened. I tried to calm myself.

_Nothing really happened, though. If she was aware she probably thought nothing of it, _I thought reassuringly. But it did nothing to quell my nerves.

"Hmm," she said, lost in thought again.

"So, now are you going to tell me what you were thinking about?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Just… Edward," she said, suddenly somber. I could see how she struggled over the name. I remained silent, letting her vent her true emotions at her own pace. "Nothing about him in particular. Random moments we spent together, things he said, things he promised…" Her expression abruptly turned dark. "He told me he loved me, I _know _I didn't imagine that. In the hospital after James bit me he said he would never leave me, never do anything to hurt me, as hard as it was. But he did. He knew it would kill me, but he did it anyway." Her voice quivered and I could see the tears well up in her eyes, but she didn't stop. And I didn't stop her; she needed this if she ever wanted to get over Edward and help herself. "Our entire relationship was lies, the whole time! He would always keep things from me to 'protect' me. The only thing he ever told the truth about was that he was a vampire. But then he began to use that as his excuse for everything. Why we shouldn't be together, why he couldn't give me a _real _kiss… It became a game to come up with as many reasons as possible as to why he was so bad for me, that he didn't focus on the nice things. He didn't understand that I didn't care about the danger, though. I loved him, and he was all I wanted for eternity. That's why I wanted to become a vampire- so I could stay with him and the only people I ever felt close to forever. But he was too stubborn to listen, too fucking controlling to let me choose anything myself. He never listened to me, he never gave a damn about what I thought, and I hate him for it! I hate him, I-"

Bella's sobs were now too intense for me to understand the rest. She fell into my arms, burying her face into my shoulder. Her body shook as a wave of emotions flowed from her. I had never seen her this open before, but it was good. It meant she was ready to overcome this.

Gradually her breathing slowed and she relaxed against my chest, nearly sitting in my lap. Her face was still hidden in my shoulder, leaking gently tears onto my shirt. I stroked her back soothingly and waited.

"Carlisle," Bella whispered, her voice muffled against me. I felt her warm breath on my neck as she spoke. "I can't lie to myself, as much as I want to. I don't hate him. I still love him, more than anything. I love him, and he's gone. I don't… I don't know what to do."

She finally raised her head up to look at me, and I really wish she hadn't. Her red, tear-stained face nearly broke my heart. Her big brown eyes were bloodshot and scared, reflecting none of the depth they once held. Her bottom lip trembled as more tears threatened to spill. I couldn't stand to see her cry. Her hair blew in the light breeze and her scent traveled through the air, that delightful combination of lavender and freesia, along with strawberry shampoo, swirling around my nose. It was sweeter, stronger when she cried. I suddenly felt very indignant with Edward for what he did to Bella.

"Please help me get over this," she whispered, her mouth barely moving to let the words slip out. Her walls were finally down, for now.

"You know I'll do everything in my power to help you, Bella," said calmly, comfortingly. "You don't have to go through this alone; I know how hard solidarity can hurt."

"You mean when you were turned into a vampire?" she asked sadly, now wiping her eyes dry. A spark of interest came across her features.

"Yes. I trust you remember the story," I said, careful not to remind her that it was Edward who originally told it to her. She nodded, and I continued. "So I imagine you also know how I initially reacted to my condition."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," she said shakily. I smiled at her concern.

"It's quite alright; I actually like being able to tell someone else. It's been so long since I talked about it, and it's nice to clear my head and lighten my heart, so to speak. So, as you know, I was less than content when I discovered what was happening to me. I had been raised to abhor and hunt down the very creature I was becoming. I chose to isolate myself before others could run away in disgust." Bella was now leaning against my arm, looking out across the yard but clearly listening. "I was at the point where I felt nothing but hatred, confusion, and anguish. I believed there was no other option but to end the new life I was forced into, much like yourself. It was no easy task, and I tried numerous times. All attempts failed, of course; starvation is impossible, and the swift touch of a blade has little effect on vampires. I was alone in the world and did not see a reason to go on. But I did; I had to. And eventually I found a silver lining. I accepted what happened and made the best of it, which actually proved to be better than what I had before. Now I have a loving family, a job doing what I think is the most rewarding thing in the world- saving lives… And I have a human friend who accepts me and my family, keeps our secret, and has so much to give. I have more than I could ever ask for, and more than I deserve."

"You deserve everything you have, Carlisle," Bella said suddenly, sitting straight up. Her eyes were red, but she had finally stopped crying. "Except the mess that I am; a crazy, immature burden."

"I think you need to get your hearing checked," I joked, tugging lightly on a lock of brown hair near her ear. "I've just gotten through praising you and your friendship, and you think I believe you to be a burden? Honestly, Bella, what am I going to do with you?" I eyed her closely and sighed at her doubtful expression. I put an arm around her shoulders gently. "I meant every word I said, Bella. You are a gift, not a curse."

Bella looked up at me, the ghost of a smile on her lips.

"I don't know if it's just your vampire charm dazzling me, but I feel a little better," she said, a real grin on her face now.

"Well, I tend to have that effect on women," I teased, winking at her. She blushed and quickly looked down, much to my amusement. She always made me feel so young, like I truly was only twenty-three. "So Miss Swan, what else is on your mind?"

"Well," she said tentatively, thinking. "Today is Saturday, and I promised Charlie I'd come home this weekend. I figured I would stay here one more night and go home tomorrow. Just because there are other vampires running around; it could be dangerous. Maybe." She looked embarrassed, and I laughed.

"I would love to have you stay for one more night," I said, realizing I still had an arm around Bella. Not wanting things to be awkward, I removed the grip and ran my hand through my hair casually. "And it would probably be the safest choice."

"Thanks. So, umm… When are you leaving?" she asked.

"Why? Sick of me already?" I joked.

"No!" she said quickly. "It's not that at all. It's just that you've helped me so much over the past few days and I've really grown used to it. But I know you need to go back to the rest of the family eventually." There was a hint of sadness in her voice that warmed my heart. She really wanted me to stay, even though she planned to push everyone else away and leave Forks.

"Ah, I see… I suppose I could stay until Monday morning and see you off to school," I said, smiling. I didn't mention that I was also staying until Monday to make sure those vampire twins kept far away with honest intentions.

"Thank you, Carlisle," she said, a relieved smile lighting up her face. She stood up, brushing dirt off her jeans. "I think I'm going to take a shower and clean myself up now; it's been awhile. Where do you keep the plastic wrap?"

"Plastic wrap?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"If I'm going to take a shower I need to cover my bandages," she said smartly.

"Right," I said, enjoying her creative thoughtfulness. "In the kitchen, the drawer next to the sink. Do you need any help?"

"No thanks, I've got it," she said with a smile before turning and making her way towards the house.

I smiled as she disappeared through the front door and leaned back on the palms of my hands. She really was determined to be strong and independent. I closed my eyes, lost in thought for what seemed like the millionth time today. I'm not sure how long I was sitting there until I was interrupted by the shrill ring of my cell phone. I sighed, digging through my pocket for the source of the noise.

"Hello?" I said, holding the device to my ear.

"Carlisle, I'm surprised I actually caught you," said a familiar voice on the other side. The speaker's tone was airy and calming, yet slightly concerned. I recognized it immediately.

"Esme," I replied, rising from the ground and walking towards the house for some privacy. "I am equally as surprised to hear from you. Is something wrong?"

"No, dear," she said quickly. "Everything is fine here, but… are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I answered slowly, puzzled. I entered the house and took to the staircase in haste.

"And everything is going well in Oregon?" she pressed, her voice laced with an unidentifiable emotion.

"As well as it can go, given the situation," said, feeling sick at the lies I was reinforcing. I entered my study and headed towards my desk, the door clicking softly behind me as it closed.

"I see," she said, fading off into silence. We remained that way for a few seconds before Esme spoke again. "And Bella is coping well, I hope?"

I froze, praying that I heard incorrectly. How could she possibly have figured it out?

"Pardon?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly.

"Bella," she repeated slowly. "Is she doing ok?"

I sighed resignedly, knowing that it would be pointless to continue my lies. Esme was much smarter than that. She knew me better than anyone, and would be nothing short of devastated if I kept the truth from her again.

"Decent. Much better than when I found her," I murmured. "May I inquire as to how you found out my true whereabouts?"

"Carlisle, you should have known that I would figure it out eventually. After all, you have a precognitive daughter."

"I should never have doubted yours and Alice's intelligence," I said remorsefully. "I just assumed that she would not see anything; after all, it was a spur of the moment decision. And she was quite distraught when I left. I imagined that her visions were cloudy given her state. Furthermore, I thought Edward had told Alice not to seek out visions of Bella?"

"She didn't. But I was extremely worried about your safety; you called but one time and were very vague. I asked Alice to search for visions of you, and she managed to catch one of you watching over Bella as she slept on the couch in our house in Forks. Carlisle, I expected you of all people to abide by Edward's wishes. He said that it was to be a clean break, and none of us were to interfere in Bella's life. Alice and I have not told him about this yet, but if he finds out-"

"She was hurt, Esme," I interrupted.

"What?" she asked, suddenly worried. "What happened, what's wrong?" Esme thought of Bella as one of the family, and cared for her like a daughter.

"Please relax, Esme, there is no need to panic. She is doing ok at the moment., but a few days ago I could not say the same. I received a call from a very hysteric Charlie Swan, saying that Bella had run away, most likely after Edward, and could not be located. That is the reason I came here. I discovered her at the old house, trying to take her own life." I heard a sharp intake of breath on the other line, and continued. "Don't worry, Bella is recovering. I stitched her up and watched over her for hours. She did not mean to go that far, but felt lost without us here and saw no other option. She seems to be faring much better since my arrival, but is still emotionally broken after Edward's departure. Forgive me for not telling you, but I was afraid that Edward would hear your thoughts and either do something drastic or stop me from going to her. I couldn't let that happen; she needed to be saved."

"I understand completely, Carlisle. No need to feel sorry for lying, I know that it was for the safety of Bella. And I will hide my thoughts from Edward in Bella's best interest. I will tell Alice to do the same." "Thank you, dear," I said, relief flooding through me. Comforted with the fact that I no longer had to lie, I continued in a more calm tone. "Bella seems to be a lot more stable in my company. She feels that she connects to no one in the world apart from the members of our family, and I think seeing that one of us cared enough to come back and take care of her really helped her outlook. But she is still suffering; she is depressed and is planning to leave Forks the first chance she gets, which is most likely when I return to the family. That is why I am so nervous to leave her. I am afraid that without me here, she will relapse back into the manic, empty person she was when I found her. But I can't stay here forever, and the longer I stay the more likely it is that Edward will find out."

"I don't even want to think of what will happen if Edward discovers that Bella tried to commit suicide upon our departure," Esme said in a hushed voice. I could tell that this news was breaking her heart; after all, she, too, had tried to end her own life after a tragedy. It was something we had in common, just as it was something I could relate to with Bella.

"All the more reason for me to return quickly," I said. "I was comforting Bella and she finally overcame some of her emotions. She seemed to be doing much better after breaking through the negativity, and could think logically again. She asked when I was leaving, telling me that she knew I had to go back to the family." "Always putting others ahead of herself," Esme said fondly.

"I told her that I would stay until Monday; staying long than that could be risky. I am not just going to leave her for good, though," I decided suddenly. "I will not let her cope with this on her own and run off into isolation. She needs to know that we still care about her. I think, with your help, I can manage to come back here in a week or two and check up on her. That will hopefully persuade her to remain safely in Forks for a little while longer."

"I agree," Esme said, her determined voice muffled by sadness. "I'll take care of everything here, and figure out something to tell the children about why you will be leaving again."

"Thank you," I said kindly. Esme truly was something special. She was always there when I needed her, and although we were separating from marriage, I would never love her any less as a person and friend.

"Oh," I said quickly, remembering something. "Another reason I planned to stay in Forks until Monday was because of a different possible threat to Bella's safety. Two foreign vampires approached us near the forest behind the house, apparently out of curiosity. I'm not sure if I buy that story, but we have not seen them since. They made it known that they were simply passing through, but voiced interest in seeing us again. I don't want to leave Bella alone until I am sure they are long gone, especially in her weakened state. Can you ask Alice to watch for any strange activities or vampires around this area?" "Of course," Esme replied, sounding apprehensive.

"Thank you," I repeated. "I'll call you tomorrow to check in." "Alright, dear. Please be careful, and if you think it will help, send Bella my love." "I'm sure it will help exponentially," I said, smiling and running a hand through my hair. I said goodbye and closed the cell phone, feeling better now that I no longer had to lie to Esme, as well as nervous now that the possibility of Edward finding out loomed overhead. I leaned back in my chair and, hearing the shower turn on, waited until I could see a genuine smile on Bella's face when I told her I would be back.


	11. Chapter 11

I am SO sorry, you honestly have no idea how bad I feel for the delay. You have all been amazingly dedicated readers and reviewers, and I feel absolutely horrible for making you wait so long for this chapter. My laptop charger broke (again!) and I only recently got a new one. So my laptop refused to turn on for about 2 months of the summer, and between that and starting my senior year of high school a few days ago (almost done :D) things have been hectic. But I cranked out this chapter as quickly as possible when I got my new charger, and I hope you all can forgive me. I wanted to let you all know that I was still working on the story but of course I couldn't- FanFiction should really set up some sort of way to communicate to your readers/alerts without actually having to update a story. Anyway, all is well and hopefully I can get new chapters up much faster now (although it will be about a week between each update due to school work). Hopefully this chapter makes up for the lost time; I think everyone will like this chapter quite a bit ;) Isn't the suspense just killing you now? As always, reviews are much appreciated and forever a source of inspiration. Enjoy!

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Bella's POV

I stood in the middle of the bathroom, struggling to pull a gray tank top on over my bandages. Every time I raised my arms too much, pain shot up my side. With a groan, I finally managed to yank the shirt over my torso. I threw on jeans and a dark blue sweatshirt, leaving it open, as I would probably injure myself even more trying to close it.

My brown hair still dripping slightly from the much needed shower, I made my way out of the elegant cream-tiled room and into the hallway. To my surprise, the door diagonally across from the one I just came through opened immediately. Carlisle walked gracefully over the threshold, a small smile directed at me. Although he remained as calm as always, it looked as though he were fighting to hold something exciting back.

"Bella," he said warmly, walking closer to me. "How was your shower?"

"Good," I said, now thoroughly curious at the emotions that flickered across the vampire's handsome face.

"No trouble with your bandages?" he continued, refusing to relinquish the information that I knew hung precariously on the edge of his tongue.

"None," I said, a hint of impatience in my voice now. I wanted to know what it was he clearly had to say, but tried my best to remain composed.

"That's good," he said slowly, his smile widening. His teeth, white and perfect, flashed at me as I unwittingly got lost in his features. True, it was only Carlisle, but his flawless vampire looks did not fail to dazzle me, especially right now. Was is weird of me to think that my could-have-been father-in-law was stunning? Probably, I thought, mentally cursing myself for falling into this dumb stupor. I felt myself staring, felt my jaw take on a life of its own as it began to hang open. With him standing here, tousled blonde hair and radiantly pale skin practically burning holes into my eyes, I no longer remembered what I wanted to know. I felt the sudden urge to reach out and touch this man, just to see if the unnatural beauty was real. He couldn't possibly be; he would simply vanish beneath my fingertips. How did his skin glow in the dull light of the hallway? His eyes, pools of liquid gold, turned curious as more time passed. Hard as I tried, I couldn't look away.

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice finally managed to burst into my subconscious. He placed his hand on my arm and squeezed it lightly. "Bella, are you alright?"

"Oh.. Fine," I stuttered, marveling the way his smooth voice wrapped around my name like silk. I had felt infinitely closer to Carlisle after our talk earlier, but this was a whole new level. In my tumultuous emotional state I had been able to shrug off the effects of his charming looks for the most part; now that I had relieved myself of some of the negative baggage, it was becoming increasingly more difficult. "What were you saying?"

"Well, I have something to tell you that I hope will make you feel better," he said, no longer able to hide the excitement on his face. It made him look much younger. "Now, you know that I have to go back to the family soon."

My face fell slightly, wondering how this could possibly make me feel better when he starts off like that.

"Let me finish," he said, smiling at my obvious displeasure. "Some things have changed, and a new opportunity has arisen. How would you like me to come back to check up on you in a week or two?"

"Are you kidding?" I asked, a smile breaking onto my face. I closed the short distance between us and pushed myself into Carlisle's arms anxiously. I realized how dependent I had become on the vampire as I hugged myself tightly to him. A week ago the most contact we had was barely more than a hand on the shoulder, unless he was stitching me up from one of my numerous accidents. Now I was nestled deep in his grasp and never wanted to leave. Although it may have something to do with the fact that he was the only person I had seen in the past three days (apart from Charlie), as well as my rescuer, caretaker, and the only one I could speak freely with if I chose to. Nevertheless, I had formed a strong bond with Carlisle, one I had not seen coming. Even the possibility that I could see him once more sent excitement through my veins. He had become a sort of close, impromptu friend in my seclusion. Part of me worried about that; it was very sudden and clearly based on dependence, something I hated more than anything else. It also would never have happened had there not been a tragedy. And lastly, a nagging in the back of my mind wondered if it was simply because of his son. But I ignored those ideas; I liked being with Carlisle, and if it took this turn of events to bring us closer than so be it. We obviously connected as people, not just forced together through relationships anymore. And he wanted to watch over me when no one else could or would, and that was enough to keep me pressed to his chest, arms wrapped comfortably around his cold body.

"I'll take that as a yes?" Carlisle asked, chuckling sweetly.

"Take that as a definitely," I said, looking up at him.

"You're awfully clingy today, Bella," he mused, patting me on the head fondly.

"Oh, sorry," I said hurriedly, my cheeks reddening in embarrassment. _Had I weirded him out? _I though fretfully. That was the last thing I wanted. What if he thought I had become too attached, and feared me being completely dependent on him? Surely he wouldn't want to fuel it… What if he changed his mind about coming back? I extracted myself from his grip and stepped back. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…"

"On the contrary, Bella," he said warmly. "I enjoyed your enthusiasm; it brings some of the life back to your eyes. I was just noting that it seemed a little out of character, given the situation. You were in tears a couple of hours ago. Feeling better?"

"Much, now that I know you'll be back," I said, crossing my arms shyly. I smiled up at him hesitantly, and he held his arm out for me like a gentleman.

"Brilliant," he said, motioning for me to take his arm. "I bet you'll feel even better once you get some food in you. I feel like I'm not feeding you enough; forgive me, but it is hard to remember when you haven't needed human food in over 300 years."

I laughed, entwining my arm with his. The skin on his hand brushed mine lightly, ice cooling fire. We made our way down the stairs and to the kitchen.

"So what exactly happened that's giving you a chance to come back?" I asked, sliding into a chair beside the kitchen table, a smaller counterpart to the large table in the dining room. I rested my elbow on the polished wooden surface and placed my chin in my hand, watching Carlisle as he bustled around the room, opening cabinets and grabbing ingredients. "I thought you said that no one knew you were actually here because Edward would flip if he found out? If you tried to come back so soon surely someone would know something was up."

"True, but it seems that I underestimated the intelligence of my family," he said, the corner of his lips curling up into a smirk. "Esme called before to see how you were doing. It seems that she and Alice are a force not to be deceived."

He looked up from his preparation to smile at me, and I looked at him quizzically.

"Esme suspected that something was amiss, so she asked Alice to seek out a vision of me. I was incorrect in my assumption that Alice was so distraught that her visions would be cloudy, and she located me quite easily. Don't worry," he said, noticing the slightly panicked look on my face. "Edward doesn't know, and Esme promised that they would do their best to keep it from him given the current situation. No need to upset him further."

"What do you think he would do if he found out you were here?" I asked quietly.

Carlisle sighed, placing the food he was holding down in front of him. He walked closer to me, leaning his back against the granite counter and folding his arms across his chest. His expression seemed strained.

"I honestly don't know, Bella. He made it very clear that he wanted this to be a clean break; no contact allowed, no checking up on you, no memory of us left at all. He said it was better that way, and it would be safer for you. Clearly he misjudged, but his intentions were for your best interest." I managed to half-suppress a snort, and Carlisle continued. "Believe it or not, Edward was just as wounded by this as you were. It took everything he had to leave; you were the first person that had made him truly happy in his vampire years. He was alone for the longest time, and you were the best thing that happened to him. But after James, after Jasper and your birthday, he realized that he would rather have you safe than be with him, and he did this all for that reason. If he knew that I was here, jeopardizing your safety as well as reminding you of us, he would be furious. Not only would it counteract everything he sacrificed for your well being, but it would be drawing you back into our family, and that is the worst thing for him right now. To know that others in the family were interacting with you while he couldn't would kill him. To keep you safe from our world is only one reason he never wants you to re-enter our lives. He knows he broke your heart, and you can never look at him in the same way again. He doesn't want to ever have to face that, so he remains adamant that no one contacts you in order to avoid it ever happening. And this is my personal theory, but I also believe that if he knew you were in reach, and was presented with another chance of seeing you, he wouldn't be able to leave again, forever putting you in danger."

I had listened to Carlisle patiently, resisting any urges I had to interrupt him. I knew that Edward had only the best intentions by wanting to keep me safe, but I could not believe that he was in as much pain as I was. I could never have left him, knowing that it would emotionally kill both of us. If I was the only thing that had truly made him happy, he would never have hurt me so badly by leaving. He never listened to me, and in that he didn't fully love me since he couldn't factor in what I wanted as well. I still loved him, and I don't know what I would do if I was presented with the opportunity to see him again, but at this moment I didn't want to even think about it. And I especially didn't want to think about what he would do if he found out Carlisle was here with me, even if it was to save my life. My guess was that he would either run here in a blind rage to extract every trace of the Cullens from my life again, or he would run to the Volturi to end his own life since he wouldn't be able to leave me again, but wouldn't want to risk my safety. Neither was an option I wanted to face anytime soon, so I cleared my throat awkwardly and changed the subject.

"So you talked to Esme?" I asked curiously.

"Indeed," Carlisle said, resuming his cooking. "She was just checking up and making sure everything was alright. She does not oppose me being here, but she is worried about Edward finding out as well. However, she knows that you need someone here with you right now, and she is going to help think of an excuse for me to leave again in a week or two so I can come back. She sends her love, by the way."

"Oh," I said, feeling both pleased and embarrassed at the affectionate message. Esme was always so caring, and quick to embrace me as a part of her family. Oddly enough, while I saw Esme in a sort of motherly fashion, I could not view Carlisle in a respective fatherly position. Not that I was any less close or fond of him; it was just a different relationship. I silently wondered that if the two adults' places had been reversed, would Carlisle have sent his love? _Probably not,_ I thought. But not for lack of meaning it; just because he was a man, and it was usually women who sent their love and men who made sure the women were ok. Then again, Carlisle was not your average man.

I idly twisted a lock of chocolate brown hair around my finger, too lost in thought to notice that Carlisle was standing behind me with a plate of food in hand. My head shot to the left when I felt a hand on my shoulder, only to jerk back to the right as an arm wound its way around me to place the food on the table. My heart nearly jumped out of my body from the vampire's proximity; that vanilla and clean laundry-esque scent swirled around me once again. I looked anywhere but at the pale face hovering just above my right shoulder, inches away from my own, and settled on staring down at my plate. His hand was right next to it, keeping me trapped between his arms. My heart continued to pound inexplicably fast, and a dull blush crept over my skin in embarrassment. The tress of hair, which had still been wrapped around my finger, was now tugged lightly from my grasp and delicately pushed behind one ear.

"Don't think so hard about it," Carlisle said, most likely referring to Edward, his soft voice blowing coolly against the bare skin of my neck. I shivered slightly, although I wasn't really that cold. "No need to pull out all your hair over something that may or may not happen. Now eat up."

And with that he moved away, heading towards the sink to clean up. I watched him curiously; what he must have meant to be a comforting motion had left me feeling thoroughly confused and a bit out of breath.

XXXXX

"Carlisle?"

"Hmm?" The vampire, sitting quite comfortably in the armchair near the piano, looked up from the book he was reading and ran a hand through the blonde strands of hair that had fallen into his face, pushing them neatly back into place. I was beginning to notice more and more how often he did this. I wondered if that was because he himself was doing the slight action more frequently, or if I had just become more observant and in tune with his behavior.

I shifted in my seat on the couch, setting Carlisle's copy of _Wuthering Heights _(that thing hadn't left my hands in the past three hours!) down next to me. I was becoming quite restless, as it was my last night here and soon I would be on my own until the next time the man adjacent to me could leave his house without raising suspicion. I decided to make the most of the time I had left with someone I could speak openly with.

"What are you doing at your new home?" I asked unobtrusively, struggling over the last two words. "Are you working at another hospital?"

"Actually, no," he said, sighing. He closed the book and placed it in his lap. "It's a bit hard to find work where we've relocated. And we have only been there for a few days; I think everyone just needs to relax and settle into the sudden change for awhile."

"And where is it that you're staying?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Bella," Carlisle said, a warning tone in his voice despite the small smile fighting to be seen on his lips. His eyes locked onto mine, telling me it was better not to know. His irises were a dark gold, nearly black; I don't think he had hunted at all since he had stayed here with me. That couldn't possibly be good for him. Edward's emotions were always slightly out of balance when he hadn't hunted. But surely Carlisle was stronger than that, after years of practice and self-control. I found it hard to hold his gaze and averted my eyes down, staring instead at the shiny scar that was beginning to take over the gash on the inside of my wrist, a constant reminder of what had happened.

"Sorry," I muttered, my face flushed in embarrassment.

"Don't worry about the small things, Bella," he said gently, moving fluidly from his spot in the chair to sit beside me on the couch. "It will not do you any good. Instead, try to be content with the fact that I will be back; I promise." He tapped his icy fingers under my chin, making me look up at him. His white teeth flashed brilliantly as he smiled, and I gave him a small grin in return. Even in the soft light cast by the floor lamp, the only source of illumination in the living room during the darkness of late evening, Carlisle seemed to have an ethereal glow. Momentarily dazzled, I tried to think of something to say that made any sort of sense.

"So, umm.. How is everyone else doing?" I spluttered. This was the problem with vampires; their beauty not only made you unbelievably envious, but it also made you either speechless or inarticulate. "The family, I mean. How is Esme?"

"She's… doing well," Carlisle answered, his voice sounding a little strange.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, confused.

"Of course. Well, not that there's anything wrong exactly, but…" For the first time in my life, I saw the ever calm-and collected doctor nervous and unsure. I watched him carefully, wondering what could have possibly gotten him this offbeat. He took a deep breath, regaining his thoughts, and continued. "You see, Bella, Esme and I are-"

At that moment a shrill ringing interrupted Carlisle's rushed statement, and he drew out his cell phone inhumanly fast.

"What timing," he said, chuckling awkwardly and casting me an apologetic look as he flipped open the phone. "Hello? Oh, Esme, what a coincidence, we were just speaking of you… what? Are you absolutely sure? …How soon? Alright, I'll handle it… Goodbye."

"What's wrong?" I asked apprehensively, watching his brow furrow as he snapped the phone closed.

"Alice had a vision," he said, his usually velvety voice rushed. "Those twin vampires have suddenly decided to stop by here before heading east."

"Is that bad?" I asked, my own voice raising almost an octave out of nerves.

"Most likely not," Carlisle said quickly, although his tone was not very reassuring. "But you always have to be cautious with vampires you don't know. Think of it as talking to strangers," he said, grinning through the concern. "I just don't know why they suddenly changed their minds and decided to come here first. According to Alice, they were not planning on it until a few moments ago, and her vision changed. They are running close by, and should be here in a few minutes… Bella, are you alright?" I honestly wasn't sure. I liked those other vampires well enough when we first met, but if Carlisle was a bit perturbed then I didn't know how to feel. Especially when I though back to their burning red eyes…

"I'm fine," I said quickly, watching the dark-eyed vampire take long strides across the room, putting away books and pulling back the curtains to check the front yard. I couldn't see anything through the darkness with my human vision, but no doubt Carlisle could sense something rapidly approaching. Moving away from the window, he walked up in front of me instead, putting both hands on my arms.

"Bella, you remember what I said to those vampires the first time we met, correct? About you and I?"

"Yes," I said slowly, recalling the moment perfectly. "You said I was your mate."

"Exactly. And you remember why, right? Because we do not know these vampires' intentions, and it is safer to say you already 'belong' to me, in a manner, so they do not try to claim you as their own." Carlisle was looking at me quite seriously. I bit my lip awkwardly and stared up at him. "So please follow along with that tonight. Do not feel strange or embarrassed, because it is for your own safety. For all these vampires know, we are happily married and mates for life. As far as whether or not you will be changed into a vampire, we'll say that we are waiting for you to complete school first. Understand?"

"I don't have a wedding ring," I said meekly.

"Ah, but neither do I," Carlisle retorted, grinning smartly and holding up a bare ring finger. "Most vampires do not symbolize a life-long relationship with metallic bands anyway, no worry."

"But, where…" I faltered, peering at the barren finger.

"No time for questions, Bella," the man said quickly, releasing my arms and positioning himself before the front door. "And no matter what happens, just go along with it."

Feeling completely rushed and bewildered in the sudden turn of events, I just clamped my mouth shut and stood in the middle of the room, tugging on my sweatshirt sleeves and eyeing the front door expectantly. A little sooner than I would have liked, three swift knocks sounded on the other side of the barrier, echoing sharply in the room. Carlisle gave me one more brief smile before he pulled on the brass knob and opened the door.

"Carlisle!" I heard Kindra's melodic voice exclaim a greeting before I saw her pass gracefully over the threshold. She was wearing the same clothes as the last encounter, but they still looked as though they had been freshly laundered. After kissing my "husband" once on each cheek she spun around until she faced me. Walking over quickly, she took both my hands in hers and beamed, revealing her perfect white teeth. "And how is the beautiful Bella?"

"Um, good. And yourself?"

"Just wonderful, dear. Washington has simply been charming, and we had to stop by and say hello before we began our journey east. Isn't that right, Andrus?"

I whipped my head back to the door just in time to see Kindra's stunning twin glide smoothly into the room. Just like his sister, he was in the same clothes as the last time I had seen him, but the dark emerald vest and the creases in his slacks were still flawless. After shaking Carlisle's hand he caught my eye and his mouth broke into a brilliant grin.

"But of course," he said, his attractive accent delicately caressing each word. "How could we pass up a chance to see our new friends, the gracious Carlisle and his ever-lovely wife, Bella?" I blushed lightly and his smile grew wider.

They were speaking as though we were all old companions, reuniting after years of not seeing each other. Although a bit strange, it was king of heartening. Perhaps this was just the way they treated each other in Estonia.

"Hello, Andrus," I said shyly, leaning towards him slowly as he too came forward to kiss either cheek. Despite his frost-like lips, my face burned in the spots where he had just kissed me. Carlisle made a small noise from where he stood by the door, and Andrus stepped back towards his sister, arms folded across his muscled chest. My eyes swept over his lean body before traveling back to the blonde.

"Please, have a seat, won't you? Bella was just about to make some tea for herself, I'm sure neither of you want any?" He chuckled and flashed me a smile, but his eyes told me to follow along. I smiled awkwardly at everyone and made my to the deserted kitchen. I bustled around the room quickly, pulling out a mug and other ingredients, remembering where everything was from watching Carlisle prepare things for me. I was eager to get back to the living room; why had Carlisle sent me out right away? He seemed a bit on edge, most likely from the sudden intrusion, but it felt like more than that. His eyes held a dark glint to them, and I wondered if it was only due to thirst.

Once my tea was poured and cooled off I set out towards the main room quietly. As soon as I stepped into the area all three faces turned to look at me. Embarrassed, I hurried to sit down next to Carlisle on the couch, noticing how odd it was that he chose to sit here instead of his usual armchair, which was now occupied by Andrus. Kindra sat comfortably in the chair nearest the front door, smiling amicably at me. Settling into the sofa, I brought the mug to my lips and took a sip of tea, the herbal spices swirling tastefully in my mouth and warming my body. Andrus titled his head and looked at me, smile still plastered to his face.

"So, Bella," he began; I felt Carlisle shift slightly beside me. "We were just speaking of our plans to travel east across the states. Our final destination is New York; have you ever been there?"

I blinked once, taken off guard by the simple question, and swallowed before answering.

"Uh, no I haven't. I've always wanted to visit there, though. It seems so exciting; I like the idea that there is always something new to do there."

"Ah, as do I. Maybe next time you could accompany us there. And Carlisle too, of course," he added pointedly. Carlisle's lips curve into a hard smile as he leaned slightly closer to me.

"Next time?" I asked, confused.

"We have only a month here before we return to Estonia," Kindra explained, diverting the attention back on herself. "But I am sure we will be back soon after; we love it here already. And a only a month to explore hardly does this country justice." She crossed her long legs and tapped her fingers idly on the arm of the chair, her sharp nails drumming out a steady beat. Her scarlet eyes were lit up in anticipation at the thought of another adventure.

"So what exactly do you do in Estonia?" Carlisle spoke up for the first time since I had returned from the kitchen. "You mentioned that you were part of the royal family?" "Indeed," Kindra said brightly. "We help our father in dealings with other nations and neighboring vampire covens, settle disputes, plan for the future. It sounds enticing but a lot of the time it is just drab political business. That is why my brother and I prefer traveling. We get to scope out areas we have never been in and report back to our father about things such as where other vampires reside. He would be very interested to hear about you two," she said mysteriously, her eyes twinkling. She let out a small laugh and again I got to hear that beautiful, wind chime-like sound echo around the room.

"Yes; never has father encountered a vampire with a human mate. Although I'm sure he would understand as soon as he saw Bella," Andrus murmured. I felt the skin on my chest flare up red in pleased embarrassment. He must have noticed, for he smiled and locked his eyes with mine. I was transfixed by his crimson orbs, radiantly pale skin, and aristocratic features. True, I was in no way over Edward, but I couldn't help but feel smitten by this charming, foreign vampire. "If you don't mind me saying," he continued, turning his gaze to Carlisle, "I have noticed that you and Bella do not act quite like mates. While I can sense the emotion there, you remain aloof. Why is that?"

"Now Andrus, don't intrude on their personal lives," Kindra said sternly, but her eyes reflected a similar interest.

"No, it's quite alright," Carlisle said, sitting up a little straighter. "To be honest, we aren't usually like this, are we, Bella?" He looked down at me lovingly.

"Um, no. Not at all," I replied slowly.

"We just did not want to make you uncomfortable by being too physical. Some people here in the states do not approve of seeing couples being too affectionate in public."

"Oh no, please. Do not let our intrusion stop you from doing things routinely," Kindra said apologetically.

"Well, if you insist," Carlisle said indulgently, and with that he wrapped both arms around me and pulled me gently into his lap. Surprised, I nearly fell off of him and shot my arms around his shoulders to balance myself, burying my face into the side of his neck. My nose was cold, pressed against the icy skin over his throat. One of Carlisle's hands ran up my back; the other slid carefully down my side and stopped on my hip. I inhaled deeply, taking in his scent before I pulled my head back to look at him.

Carlisle was looking at me like I was the only girl in the world. Like he didn't have a wife. Like he was truly in love with me. Even Edward had never gazed at me with such adoration. I would have silently applauded his acting skills if I wasn't so thunderstruck by him. I couldn't tell if my heart sped up or completely stopped beating. I felt dizzy every time I tried to look away from his smoldering golden eyes, his glossy blonde hair, his clear, snowy skin. His eyebrows raised a fraction of an inch, and for some reason I finally regained feeling in my chest as my heart skipped a beat at that small movement. Warmth spread from the inside of my body to the surface of my skin, numbing my fingertips and melting the chilly hold the vampire had on me. It didn't even matter that he was a vampire; this man, who naturally looked like he had walked straight off the red carpet, could dazzle without inhuman help. Doctor Carlisle Cullen truly knew how to steal a girl's heart, whether she wanted him to or not.

"Bella, love?" Carlisle looked at me meaningfully and pulled me a bit closer to him. I stayed silent, trying to fight the strange, overwhelming urge I had to run my fingers through his silky blonde hair. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I managed to say, looking around the room with a weak smile. Kindra looked puzzled; Andrus threw yet another smile at me, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I just feel a little light-headed."

"Aw, you poor dear," Kindra cooed. "I can't even remember what it is like to have human hindrances. You are fortunate to have such a wonderful husband to take care of you, right Andrus?" No reply came from the other vampire in the room.

"Yes, quite fortunate," Carlisle murmured, more to himself than in response to Kindra. His voice was barely more than a whisper, and I found myself leaning in to hear him. Or maybe that was him leaning in? I couldn't tell at this point. All I knew for sure was that soon we were mere inches apart, Carlisle brushing strands of chestnut-colored hair from my face. His cold hand cupped my chin softly, guiding my mouth to his ever so slowly. The last thing I saw was his eyes shining with determination before our lips met, molding together perfectly. I expected his lips to be colder, but they were delectably cool as they moved against mine, the velvety curves of his mouth parting my own lips tenderly. I reached up to his face and brushed against the svelte curve of his jaw with my fingertips, feeling it move as he kissed me. It felt like ages since the kiss had begun when Carlisle started to pull away. Finally his lips left mine and he gazed at me, a fleeting, wondrous look on his face before he composed himself with a calm smile.

I couldn't tell what everyone was feeling after that moment. I could only see the expressions etched on their faces. Kindra looked mildly surprised. Andrus was no longer trying to conceal his annoyance. Carlisle still hid his true emotions with a placid smile. And I couldn't begin to guess what my face must look like right now. I wasn't even quite sure how I felt, except it seemed like fireworks were going off in my stomach, chest, and brain simultaneously. But there was no time to recover from the sudden action as Carlisle opened his mouth to speak yet again.

"So, Bella… Are you feeling better?"


	12. Chapter 12

Hello everyone! I'm back, as promised, in a reasonably quick update. This chapter is just a bit shorter than the last few (only marginally, by a few hundred words) but I'm sick at the moment- the problems just keep coming!- it's 2 AM, and I'm stressing over college application things, so please forgive me for that. I think you'll all love it anyway, in my opinion it's quite cute :) And we're back to Carlisle's POV for this chapter, the man has been neglected. So read, review, and enjoy as always lovelies, I adore hearing your thoughts on my story. ~Karen

**Melbi**: Aww thank you for placing my story in such a high standard! But I do hope you did well on your math exam, can't have you failing now can we? ;)

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Carlisle's POV

It felt like cheating. No matter how many times I told myself otherwise, it still felt like cheating. It didn't matter that I was separated from Esme, or that it was all a façade. But that wasn't my first thought after kissing Bella. No, my first thought was much more scary, much more confusing, and much more passionate. To me, it was the definition of inexplicable. That first thought echoed in my head for what seemed like hours in the few seconds after it had happened. Something inside me screamed it, begging my mind to listen: even though it felt wrong, I had tasted sin on my lips and I wanted more.

I felt the vampire in me take over, my eyes grow darker with the shameful lust that was coursing through my veins in place of blood. My sense of self-control was slipping through my fingers like a person trying to hold onto smoke. As much as I told myself that it was an act, I didn't know how extreme I would end up taking this charade before it went too far. I could feel my emotions taking over in that oh so sickeningly recognizable feeling as I desperately thirsted for blood; I really needed to hunt. But I kept that serene smile plastered on my face, ignoring the utter turmoil that was occurring inside my head.

Bella hadn't answered me after the kiss. I started to become worried; what if she was utterly appalled by my behavior? True, sometimes it seemed as though she was slightly taken with me, but she didn't honestly want me like that, nor did I want her like that. She was simply entranced by my vampire appearance; all humans were in some way attracted to the inhuman splendor of vampires. I squeezed her hip lightly, my hand still firmly in place there. She blinked twice, looking up at me dazedly. Slowly, she opened her mouth to speak.

"You know," she said softly, turning her head towards Kindra and Andrus. "Even though we're married and our romance is not brand new, he still takes my breath away with every kiss." She turned back to face me again and smiled coquettishly.

I raised my eyebrows slightly; I was admittedly surprised at her quick acting skills. Pulling her closer in a gentle embrace, I buried my face fondly into her strawberry-scented hair and kissed the side of her head before allowing her to slide off my lap and nestle up against me on the couch.

"I love you, darling," I said smoothly, wrapping my arm around her. She sighed contentedly and moved even closer still.

"I love you too," she responded, laying her head carefully on my shoulder.

Andrus and Kindra looked on, various emotions playing over their faces. Kindra finally settled on an awkward smile that looked like it meant to be charmed; Andrus' face was rather stiff, mouth twitching up in a half-hearted smile that did not reach his eyes. I watched him curiously, hoping that my distaste did not show on my expression. Truth be told, I did not like him one bit. He seemed entirely too interested in Bella, and it made me nervous, among other strangely indefinable feelings.

"Well, that was quite a display," said the raven haired vampire, his scarlet eyes darting back and forth between Bella and I. "I suppose I was wrong; you two are very much infatuated with each other."

"I assure you, it is much more than mere infatuation, my friend," I answered sharply. I took in a deep breath and continued more calmly. "Forgive my assertiveness; I am just very protective of the bond my wife and I share. Many people do not understand it, as you can probably imagine."

"Of course," Kindra said, eyeing her twin dangerously. "And please forgive my brother; he can be quite a hothead, and tends to say things without thinking."

"Yes, I am sorry, Carlisle. I should learn to better hold my tongue. Please realize that I have never felt the strong emotion of love for a mate, nor for a human at that," Andrus said silkily.

"All is forgiven, and all forgotten," I said, waving a hand carelessly. "So, where are you two planning on heading first?"

"We're not really sure about our first stop. We are heading Southeast towards Colorado, so whatever looks appealing between here and there, I suppose. Although I had heard rumors that there is an interesting vampire coven in California not too far from here, so perhaps we shall check it out," Kindra replied thoughtfully.

"Actually, we meant to ask you," Andrus began, leaning forward in his seat, "if you maybe had a blank map of the country we could have? We like to take maps with us on our journeys and fill in the different places and details about where we have been, but alas we do not have one for the United States."

"As a matter of fact, I do have one with nothing but the state names written in," I answered amicably. "It's in my study. Bella, could you go upstairs and get that for me, love?"

"Uh, sure," she said, looking at me oddly. I was fully aware that she had no clue what map I was talking about or where it was, but I smiled nonetheless. She got up and started slowly towards the staircase.

"It's in the filing cabinet behind my desk," I called to her before turning back to our guests. We chatted aimlessly about issues in the vampire world and my eating habits (which did nothing to improve my thirst) for about five minutes before Andrus began to get on my nerves again.

"Carlisle, it has been quite awhile since we last saw Bella. Has your pretty little mate gotten lost in the house?" He chuckled darkly to himself. "Maybe we should go search for her; my sister and I are experienced explorers, after all."

"I think I'll go look for her myself, if you do not mind," I answered quickly before getting up and striding towards the stairs quietly. I arrived at the door to my study rather soon and gently pushed it open, crossing my arms and leaning against the doorframe with a slight smirk on my face.

"Crap, where is it?" Bella mumbled, frantically tearing apart the filing cabinet in the rear corner of the room.

"You know, there is another filing cabinet in the opposite corner behind my desk," I said from my place in the doorway, pointing and grinning cheekily. Bella's head shot up towards me and her face flushed the darkest shade of crimson I had seen on her yet. My smile widened at her endearing embarrassment.

"Oh, umm… I, uh, didn't see that one," she said awkwardly, looking away from me. "Sorry." I strode over to where she knelt by the cabinet and tilted her chin up to look at me. Her face was dangerously close to mine.

"Now why on earth would you be sorry for trying to help me?" I calmly asked her, my voice hardly above a whisper. I felt something in me take over; I was so thirsty.

"Sorry, I don't know, I just-"

"Stop saying sorry," I demanded smoothly, and she silenced her nervous ranting at once, clamping her mouth shut.

"Now stand up," I ordered carefully. She slowly pushed herself off the ground, straightening her body out mere inches from mine. My eyes flashed excitedly. Her obedience was intoxicating. I could feel the heat radiating off her slight body and moved a fraction closer. I began to walk towards her, and she in turn backed up at the same pace. We continued this way until she bumped into the other filing cabinet, her body pinned between the cold metal and myself. I placed my arms on either side of her, leaning my hands against the piece of furniture holding her in place. I reached one of my hands down to the top drawer and tugged on the handle, pulling the drawer open and thereby pushing Bella right up against me. Her hands found their way to my sides and delicately allowed them to rest there. Distracted by my proximity, she did not notice my hand draw out a large piece of paper from behind her. I brought it to where she could see it and smiled.

"Found it," I breathed smartly, inclining my head towards the map. Just then my ears picked up a quiet sound; two pairs of feet ascending the stairs, mere seconds away from the open door of the study. I turned my face marginally towards the entrance, and Bella followed suit. Instinctively, I nudged her face back to mine. Her rosy lips parted slightly, and, thinking fast, I took the opportunity to capture them between my own yet again. I felt a growl shudder through my throat, begging to get out. I heard Bella murmuring what sounded like my name into my mouth, but it was muffled by the kiss as she relaxed into it. Just then I heard the twins arrive in the doorway, stand silent for an immeasurable amount of time, utter a rushed apology, and walk away. I kept kissing Bella even after their footsteps disappeared. My stomach began to feel strange, like it was flipping over and over again; but not in a bad way, no, quite the contrary. I broke the kiss immediately after that feeling, gazing down at the girl in my arms who was starry-eyed and looking a bit winded. I had no idea what made me feel like that, but I shook it off raptly. Instead I leaned in towards Bella's ear, effortlessly brushing chestnut locks of hair out of the way.

"How embarrassing," I said jokingly, my icy lips so close to Bella's ear that I could practically taste the heat jumping off of her pale skin. "I think it is about time we got these pesky vampires out of our home." I backed up and winked at her before turning fluidly on my heel and heading for the open door. I looked back to see that she was still rooted to the same spot. "Coming?" I asked, smiling kindly. Nodding furiously, Bella hurried after me, her face still that lovely shade of red it always seems to take on lately.

"Sorry for the wait," I said accommodatingly as I reentered the living room. Andrus and Kindra were standing side by side, their twin genetics more noticeable than ever- the same posture, same hair, same aristocratic smile that curved up sharply.

"No need to apologize, friend," Kindra said sweetly, taking the map I offered. "Thank you for the generosity."

"Anytime," I responded. "But if you don't mind, I think Bella and I are going to call it a night; she is quite tired."

"Ah, these long-forgotten human experiences again," Andrus said fondly, seemingly thinking back to a time when he was human. He threw a dashing smile at Bella, as if he was saying he understood and was considerate of her feelings. "Well then, it looks as though we will be parting now."

"Yes, this is such a sad occasion; we have finally gotten a chance to see our new friends and now we will not see them for at least two months. And after we finish our trip across the states we must return to Estonia for discussion with our father immediately," Kindra said mournfully.

"But do not worry," Andrus interjected, grinning boldly. "We will be back."

"We are already anticipating your return," I said considerately, masking my true desire to promptly throw him out of the house by force. He reached forward to shake my hand; his grip was like a vice. It was more a competition to see who could break the other's hand first than a handshake, really. We finally released each other and took a step back.

"Bella," Kindra cried, swooping into the teenager dramatically. "I will miss you dearly! It is so rare for me to have any female companionship while traveling, and I have enjoyed yours immensely. We must catch up as soon as my brother and I return to your country." She wrapped her arms around Bella's small frame tightly, kissing her delicately on both cheeks before releasing her. She then made her way over to me to do the same, blocking my path as Andrus advanced towards Bella. When Kindra's idle lips finally left my face, I could see the dark-haired male holding my "wife's" hands firmly in his own, kissing each hand before progressing to each cheek. Bella blushed wildly, smiling and peering balefully up at him underneath her thick brown eyelashes. I side-stepped Kindra easily and came up behind Bella, placing my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder. She turned to look at me in surprise, her nose brushing against mine in our closeness. I smiled widely, conveying a sultry look in my dark eyes, and I felt her heartbeat accelerate.

"We shall be sure to visit again," Andrus said in his interesting accent, the casual statement hiding a warning.

"Indeed," Kindra chimed in, tugging lightly at the hem of her skirt. "Well, brother, are you ready to depart?" "After you, sister," the twin answered calmly, still gazing at Bella. "Carlisle," he said, nodding at me. "Mrs. Cullen," he added benevolently, his scarlet eyes flicking one last time upon Bella's face. Without another word he spun quickly and followed his sister outside, closing the front door behind him.

"Carlisle," Bella began softly after a moment more of silence. I shook my head cautiously, my arms still firmly around her waist, chin sitting comfortably on her shoulder. She understood immediately. It was a warning; the twins could still be listening to us. She yawned delicately, her head lolling towards mine slightly in her exhaustion. I hugged her a bit tighter, taking in her enthralling scent.

"Tired, Bella?" I murmured, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, mimicking Bella as she did the same.

"Mmhmm," the girl replied quietly, slumping even more against my body. I pulled her closer into my grasp and laughed.

"Wow, I suppose you really are… Bella?" I voiced again, finally convinced that the vampires were far enough away to act normal again. I could no longer sense them, anyway.

"Yes?"

"I need to go out for a bit."

"What?" she said tiredly, spinning around in my arms until she was facing me, leaning on my chest for support. She was practically falling down, she was so tired. Not used to being human, I marveled at the rate exhaustion hit her. She peered up at me with big brown eyes, her nose under my chin and her lips near my throat. Those doe-like eyes seemed to widen as she got a better look at my face. "Carlisle, your eyes! They're completely black… Are you thirsty?" she asked, understanding the weakened state immediately.

"Very much so," I said, smiling feebly. "I haven't hunted in quite some time, and I am finding it harder and harder to handle my emotions and stay in control. I really need to hunt, preferably now… Oh, do not worry, Bella," I added quickly, seeing the growing apprehension on her face. "You are in no way in any danger. I have been restraining myself from the call of human blood for much longer than this, and am easily able to handle myself around it even in extreme thirst. However, as I am sure you know, your… _uniquely alluring _scent does not exactly make it easier to ignore the feeling." I smiled delicately and looked down at her.

"So… I smell good to you, too?" she asked shyly.

"Absolutely enchanting," I answered benignly. She blushed for what must have been the sixtieth time tonight and looked down. I smiled at the top of her head, despite knowing that she couldn't see it, and stepped back, releasing my grip on her. She swayed slightly before regaining her balance. "But I really don't know what to do about this. I can't leave you here by yourself, but I definitely cannot take you with me while I hunt." I ran a hand through my blonde hair, thinking fiercely.

"Well, why exactly can't I stay here by myself?" Bella asked. I looked at her thoughtfully, surprised that she hadn't asked why she couldn't come with me while I hunted.

"Bella, I'm not going to let you stay here by yourself when those vampires are wandering around. It may not be safe," I said sternly.

"I'll be fine," she protested, staring at me imploringly. "This is just like how Edward treated me. He never thought that I could make decisions for, or handle, myself."

I listened to her fairly, turning over what she said in my mind. Truth be told, she was right. This was what she had told me about her and Edward's flawed relationship before. I sighed, considering the matter. Eventually, the thirst got the better of me and I relented.

"Alright," I conceded, looking at her pointedly. "You're not going to give in without a fight anyway." She smiled brilliantly before I continued. "But you must do everything I say; while it is unlikely that there is any danger, you always have to be on guard in situations like this. Even though they seemed nice, we don't know if those vampires were just waiting for an opportunity like this to arise. Now, while I am gone I want you to wait upstairs in my study. I will be in the forest right behind the house, only for a bit, okay?"

Something passed over Bella's face, a look in her eyes- doubt, concern, protest?- before she nodded resolutely.

"That's my girl," I said, squeezing her shoulder comfortingly. I sensed her heartbeat increase slightly, pounding quickly against her ribcage. Releasing her arm, I pointed towards the stairs. "Now up you go."

Without any more hesitation Bella bounded up the staircase compliantly, looking back once to cast me a grateful smile. I felt a flutter in my chest as I grinned back before exiting through the front door, eager to quench my thirst and regain control of these emotions.

XXXXX

I stood outside the door to my study, licking any remaining blood off my lips so as not to scare Bella. The red liquid was sweet and refreshing on my tongue, bringing me back down to contentment. I had stopped to look in the mirror when I came back in from hunting, boring into the now-ocher eyes that replaced the jet black irises of a half hour ago. Now that I was sure I was full and presentable, I eased the door open to find Bella behind the desk, slumped restfully in my large leather chair, eyes closed and chest rising and falling gently to the rhythm of her quiet breathing. I smiled, eyeing the sleeping girl with an expression of fondness. I walked silently over to the chair and placed my hand on hers, my alabaster skin just a shade paler than her own. Her eyelids flickered half-open at the icy touch.

"Bella, dear," I whispered, crouching down next to her. "Don't you think you would be more comfortable on the couch?"

She mumbled a response of what I assumed was agreement but failed to move, simply closing her eyes again.

"So, are you going to go downstairs then?" I asked, slightly amused.

Again another muttered answer, sounding vaguely like 'carry me.' My thoughts were confirmed as she extended her arms towards me. I shook my head, suppressing the urge to laugh, and moved forward to take her in my arms. Wrapping her up in my grasp, I easily swung her out of the chair and into a bridle-style position against my chest, much as I had done when we went outside to the cherry tree orchard. She snaked her hands around my neck and nuzzled her face into the crook of my shoulder, yawning words of thanks. Moving carefully so as not to injure the bruise still healing on her ribs, I carried the sleeping human down the stairs and to the main room, her lavender and freesia scent drifting pleasurably throughout my senses.

"I wish I had a bed to offer you," I commented, laying her down gently on the couch. "Unfortunately, without the need to sleep one loses the need to own a bed."

"S'okay," she said faintly, grinning with her eyes still closed. "And not entirely…"

"Beg pardon?" I asked, confused. And then what she meant clicked. "Oh!" I said, laughing. "I guess you're right. There are other uses for a bed, I suppose. But you don't really _need _a bed… never mind." If I still had the ability, I was sure I would be blushing myself right now.

Bella's smile widened as she nestled deeper into the couch cushions. Still smiling sheepishly myself, I removed my jacket and laid it over her just as I had done the first night she stayed here. She seemed to like it better than a blanket, even though it couldn't possibly keep her that warm. But just as expected, as soon as the material was placed on her she snuggled into it calmly, her face peaceful and young. Her dark brown hair spilled over the fabric, and I knew when I took it back tomorrow morning it would smell like her again, just as it had the last time. In fact, I had always picked up Bella's scent on my jacket each time I put it on these past few days. I silently wondered how long it would last after I left Monday morning.

Her heartbeat and breathing slow and steady, I was sure Bella had fallen asleep. Impulsively, I brushed some of her silky, chocolate-colored hair away from her face and leaned in slightly, placing my lips against her forehead in an affectionate kiss. Moving away, I smiled curiously, wondering at the amount of care I held for this girl. _I just want to protect her, _I thought. _She is very special to my family, and myself as well. We connect on a special level- it is a different kind of relationship, especially without Edward in the picture. Not exactly like a daughter (that would have made kissing her _very_ awkward), but more than common friends. She's just…_

"Bella," I murmured, smiling tenderly. I turned away to head towards the armchair near the piano, where I would sit all night to be there in case she had nightmares. And in turning, I just missed the compassionate smile the girl I had thought to be sleeping returned.


	13. Chapter 13

So in apology of the delay, here is a nice, long chapter for all of you! Consider it a Halloween present :) I am super tired, so I'm going to make this author's note short. There are a few things I have been wondering about, though. First, are there any guys reading this story? I'm really curious. There's nothing to be ashamed of, so boys, make me proud and mention in a review if you're male. I know Twilight is viewed of as sort of a girl's thing, but I feel like guys can enjoy it just as much, am I right? Second, I was wondering if you all think I should lower the rating to T, at least for now until some more mature parts come up down the road. I rated it M in advance, as well as for themes of suicide and occasionally strong cursing, but I'm not sure if it needs that high a rating at the moment, and I don't want readers who are uncomfortable with an M rating to not read this story if it is actually appropriate for a teen rating. Tell me what you think the rating should be in a review, as well as what you thought about the chapter :) Over 200 reviews, keep it coming everybody! I love you all, enjoy. ~Karen

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Bella's POV

Beams of milky light from the moon shone into the room, easily penetrating the cool glass of the window. Dust particles danced in the spotlight provided by the orb hanging precariously in the sky, floating to the hard wood floor in a sporadic dance. The pale light filtered through my eyelids, urging me awake. I shut my eyes even tighter, shrugging myself further underneath the black jacket that laid atop me. I buried my nose into the material, inhaling the ever-intoxicating vanilla and clean-laundry scent. The soft fabric rubbed against my cheek as I burrowed further still into the cocoon of warmth. Despite my comfort, the dull light kept persuading me to open my eyes. Reluctantly I complied, exposing my tired eyes to the room before me. The thick night air stifled all noise besides the soft sound of my breathing. Glancing around slowly, my mind still in a foggy haze, fresh from sleep, I saw nothing out of the ordinary. Carlisle sat in the armchair, eyes closed but wide awake, seemingly unaware of my consciousness. I smiled tiredly at the blonde vampire as he aimlessly licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair. My heart leapt delicately at the slight motion, confusion etching onto my face right after the strange reaction. Carlisle must have sensed the change in heartbeat, for he opened his eyes immediately after, his stern gaze cancelled out by the smile gracing his mouth. I remembered when my lips had molded against his, not once but twice, and the surprise that had come with it. Not a bad surprise, not at all. He was quite a good kisser, in fact.

"Go back to sleep, Bella," Carlisle whispered, jolting me from my thoughts. "Don't worry; I will still be here in the morning." He winked playfully and crossed his arms. My heart did another unexplained back flip before I closed my eyes obediently, quickly slipping back into the dark abyss of sleep.

XXXXX

"Do try to hurry, Bella, your father is expecting us any minute!"

"I'm going as fast as I can, Carlisle!" I called back across the house, answering the vampire tersely as I threw as many of my things as possible into the open backpack at once. I was kneeling in the bathtub, gathering up all of my toiletries and belongings before I had to go home. I had told Charlie that I would be home for dinner, which was usually around six. But I hadn't betted on waking up at four thirty in the afternoon (_damn that vampire for caring enough to let me get a decent sleep!). _Truth be told, I had wanted to spend a little more time with Carlisle before we had to part our ways. Now, however, I had to rush to get everything ready to go home. Carlisle was taking me, and would pick me up tomorrow for school before he left Forks for a few weeks. My heart sunk at the thought, so I tried to keep my mind elsewhere by reading the ingredients on the back of my shampoo bottle.

"Bella!" Carlisle called again. I nearly dropped the hair product before hastily getting back to packing, wondering at how Carlisle's voice could sound rushed and yet so calm at the same time.

"I think that's everything," I said breathlessly as I flew down the stairs and into the main room where the vampire stood waiting. He smirked as I tried to catch my breath, and I glared at him. "You know, it's a lot more difficult to run around the house and throw a bag together when you're _human._"

The smile didn't leave his face as he reached out a hand and took my backpack, slinging it over his shoulder easily before extending his other arm towards me. My glower softened as I wrapped my arm around his comfortably and walked towards the front door, looking around the room one last time; I told myself that it was to check for any forgotten possessions I may have missed, but I knew deep down that I was saying goodbye to the house- for now.

"I'm afraid I don't have my usual car here in Forks at the moment. I sort of ran here in a hurry when I heard you were missing, literally." He grinned sheepishly. "So the Mercedes isn't really an option."

"So how are we going to get to my house?" I asked, releasing his arm and following him curiously down the porch steps.

"I am sure you remember how I said we left the electricity and much of the furniture here in case we ever needed to come back, right?" He walked gracefully around the front perimeter of the house, his long strides stopping once he reached the garage door. "Well, that's not all we left." And with inhuman speed Carlisle's hand shot out and punched in the garage door code, stepping aside as the white-painted metal barrier grinded up and revealed a stunning, sleek black car. The body seemed to shine even in the dull light of the cloudy day; it was like the reflective surface of a calm lake, smooth and untouched. Four connected silver rings emblazoned the glossy exterior of the vehicle, resting in the front just above the license plate. My mouth hung open, in awe of the expensive-looking device. I shouldn't be surprised; after all, the Cullens had more money than they could ever want after living all these years. I looked to the blonde vampire, who was staring proudly at the car.

"You know, I've never been one to become infatuated with a car, but this beauty is something else. The Audi r8. I don't know how I parted with it; but it _is _the best car to have here in case of an emergency…" Carlisle trailed off, running a hand along the flawless shell of the automobile before reaching the passenger door and opening it before him. "M'lady," he said graciously, motioning with his arm for me to get inside. I quickly obliged, blushing as I brushed past him and slid into the seat delicately. My fingertips grazed the soft black leather of the seat beneath me, so comfortable I could live in the car and still be happy as long as that material stayed there too. Carlisle shut the door carefully behind me, closing me into a dense shadow. The windows were tinted the darkest shade of black, barely clear enough to see through. _It couldn't possibly be legal_, I thought. It was probably so the Cullens could travel in daylight if need be and not draw attention to themselves by sparkling profusely. That would surely attract quite a few stares on the highway.

The opposite door opened and Carlisle moved silently into the driver's seat. The vampire turned his head to look at me and smiled slyly, revving the engine as he ran his free hand through his blonde locks. I stared back, my heart beating almost painfully, like it was doing some sort of hazardous, rhythmic techno dance. I tried to smile but my mind couldn't form the correct thoughts to make me do so; I was having trouble focusing over the roar of the engine and under the young man's gaze. My heart was now in danger of exploding under the scrutiny of those eyes that looked like melted caramel. After a few more seconds (or was it minutes?) of blinding senselessness my brain finally pulled away, back into awareness.

_Yes, he's gorgeous. So what? Get over it and stop acting like an idiot! _my mind chided. It was right; I had always noticed how handsome Carlisle was- he was after all a vampire, the creatures of unparalleled, inhuman beauty. But lately, with the ample amount of time we had been spending together, it was becoming exceedingly difficult to act normal around his attractiveness. I guess prolonged exposure to good looks melts the brain.

I tore my eyes away from Carlisle, smiling bashfully into my lap. I felt a slight shudder as the car began to move before the ride turned strangely smooth. Perplexed by the gentleness the car moved with, I looked up and gasped when I caught sight of how fast we were going. There was no way the car could be going this fast and still feel as though it wasn't moving at all. I saw the darkened blurs of trees and houses whipping past through the shady windshield before allowing my eyes to wander to the speedometer. We were going sixty five miles an hour! I rarely even traveled that fast on the highway, let alone the residential, tree-lined streets of forks. Suddenly fearful, I gripped the sides of the seat, my fingernails digging into the soft leather.

"Retract your claws, kitty," Carlisle said, laughing lightly.

"What?" I asked, snapping my face towards him, confused and slightly embarrassed at the warm, rose-tinged patches that were creeping onto my cheeks.

"It looks like you're going to rip the seat apart," he explained, nodding his head sideways towards my death grip on the leather. "Relax, Bella." He turned his face a bit to look at me, taking one hand off the wheel and reaching for mine.

"What are you doing? Be careful!" I demanded shakily, staring wide-eyed with panic at the man driving almost seventy miles per hour with only one hand on the wheel and no eyes on the road.

"Bella, it's fine. I will not let anything happen to you; I had hoped you knew that by now," he responded, smiling kindly. His eyes were warm and comforting, enough to lull me back into partial tranquility. Glancing back at the road quickly, he continued to reach his right arm closer. Gently, he took my left hand in his and pried it carefully away from the edge of the seat. He wrapped his fingers around mine, giving my hand a light squeeze and smiling before concentrating completely on driving again. However, he did not release my hand.

The car wound its way through the narrow streets, easily gliding around curves and dips. Still feeling slightly sick at the thought of how fast we were moving, I kept my eyes glued to Carlisle's hand, which had not disentangled itself from mine yet. We were nearly to my house- it had only taken a few minutes at this speed- but the bond remained. I assumed that it was meant to be friendly and comforting, simply because I had panicked and nearly destroyed the interior of his car, but I couldn't help but feel something more in the way his icy skin rubbed against mine every so often, long, thin fingers tickling me as they idly danced over my knuckles. _Does he realize what he is doing, or is his hand moving of it's own accord? _I wondered silently. I also wondered why I was over-thinking all of this.

All too soon we arrived at my house. It was the first time I had seen it in days; the small two-story building seemed to loom over us menacingly. I was dreading stepping foot inside the house, because I knew that as quickly as I arrived here Carlisle would leave. And I was by no means ready for that heavy weight of solitude to settle back inside the pit of my stomach.

The Audi stopped sharply in the driveway, jolting me out of my reverie. Carlisle pulled his hand away from mine, smiling benignly before he turned to get out of the car. I moved to open my door but he was too fast for me, beating me to it. The vampire, always a gentleman, offered his hand to help me out. I took it, our skin molding together once again. This time, however, he removed it once I was on my feet, taking my backpack instead. I thought I saw him eye Charlie's police car almost tautly before starting the short journey to the front door.

"You don't happen to have a key on you, do you?" Carlisle asked, looking at the door before him.

"Um, no. Sorry," I said slowly.

"No matter," he replied easily, although his brow was slightly furrowed. "I could always just carry you up through your bedroom window, but I suppose with Charlie home the best thing to do would be knock." He looked down at me amusedly, and I smiled back, a little confused. But before I had time to respond Carlisle was rapping his knuckles smartly on the painted entrance.

"Charlie is certainly excited to have you home," the vampire said suddenly, smirking a bit. "Three… two… one…" he counted down quickly.

Right on cue the door burst open, a very flustered-looking Chief Swan balancing precariously over the threshold just inches away from our faces. Apparently he hadn't expected such a large welcome party, as he eyed Carlisle strangely before peering down at me anxiously.

"Just the time you said you would be here," he said authoritatively, glancing at his watch. He turned his attention back onto Carlisle. "Thanks for looking out for my daughter, Dr. Cullen."

"Carlisle, please," he corrected him politely. "And it was no trouble at all." He smiled down at me fondly before returning his focus to my father. "Bella is very much a part of my family, even in light of recent events. I care for her very much, and want to see her safe and content just as you do."

I gazed at him appreciatively, touched at his speech. He did not take his eyes away from Charlie, but I thought I could see the corners of his mouth raise up in a smile and his hand twitch towards mine ever so slightly, wanting to squeeze it comfortingly but refraining in front of Charlie; the police chief may take it the wrong way if he sees the supposedly thirty-something-year-old father of my ex-boyfriend holding my hand. Warmth overtook my heart at the slight gesture nonetheless.

Charlie's stare darted between the two of us, a look of puzzlement unable to be concealed on his readable face.

"So," Carlisle voiced, seemingly unaware of the awkward silence that had persisted for a good thirty seconds. "Do you mind if I take Bella's things up to her room?"

"Umm, sure…" Charlie answered slowly. The look plastered on his face said that he very well _did _mind, but a pointed stare from me quieted any objections he had. The blonde brushed past him delicately and made his way up the stairs. Thankfully my father was too absorbed in his delight of having me back that he didn't notice how odd it was that Carlisle knew the way to my bedroom. I made a move to follow the vampire, but Charlie stopped me, laying a hand on my shoulder.

"It's good to have you home, Bells," he said quietly, the usual gruffness in his voice that accompanied emotional phrases nearly inaudible. His free hand stroked his mustache self-consciously. I patted his hand gently and smiled.

"Thanks, Dad," I answered, opting for the more affectionate title before moving into the house and heading for the stairs. His face seemed to light up at those two simple words as he made his way into the living room and settled on the couch. We were not the best at communicating, but the love was still there. The smile never left my face as I hurried up the steps and into my room.

"You look awfully cheery." Carlisle's voice floated quietly from the corner of the room, where he sat in the old rocking chair. He smiled, tilting his head to the side. "And here I was, thinking you were sad that I was leaving."

"I am," I said somberly, the grin vanishing from my face at the reminder. I moved over to my bed, picking up my bag from where Carlisle must have placed it and dumping it unceremoniously on the floor before sinking down onto the edge of my mattress. The vampire frowned while observing the sudden mood change and rose from his seat, coming over to sit beside me on the bed. His leg touched mine as he sat down and I shivered.

"Bella, how many times do I have to tell you that I'll be back?" he said soothingly, placing a cold arm around my shoulder. Yet again, I quivered under the touch; I felt his arm twitch before he continued. "This is not forever. I need you to try to be happy while I'm away." I cocked my head to the side and raised an eyebrow at him; he grinned understandingly. "Alright, at least try to be calm and satisfactory until I get back. Can you please do that? For me?" I stared into his ochre eyes, suddenly very aware of the weight of his arm around me. I felt a deep crimson blush coming on and looked away before he could see, my hair falling out from behind my ear and creating a dark brown curtain between us. A moment went by and neither of us moved. After another few seconds of the dense silence, I felt a hand move up and pull back the wavy drape of hair, pushing it behind my shoulder to leave my face in clear sight. I turned to look at Carlisle, but just as I did his own eyes fluttered to the open door, his face serious. He slowly drew his arm away, shifting slightly away from me. I wasn't offended- I knew how strange this would look if Charlie walked in (in fact, it looked a bit strange even to me); however, that did not mean that I wasn't dismayed at the loss of contact. I had grown to greatly appreciate the small touches that the vampire gave me every so often, just to let me know that he was here, and that he cared. Knowing that I would not feel the coldness of his hand or the granite-like muscle of his chest for at least a week was probably the hardest part of the goodbye. But the previous thoughts of Charlie sparked a wondering I had pushed to the back of my mind before.

"Hey Carlisle," I began. He looked at me curiously and I continued self-consciously. "Why do you seem so… _tense_ at the thought of Charlie? When we first got here you eyed his car like he was going to jump in and run you over, and then you sort of said that you would rather get into my house by breaking in through my window than by using the door. And that conversation with my dad was a bit… awkward. You seem on edge, and I was just wondering if something was up? With Charlie, maybe?"

He had a bemused expression on his face. I looked away, embarrassed for even asking; he must think I'm crazy. I probably imagined the whole thing. I turned my face back to him, however, when I heard his melodic chuckle. I stared, confused; shouldn't he be telling me I'm nuts for thinking that something was up, or looking offended at me prying in his personal reasoning? But instead he was gazing at me amusedly, leaning back easily on his palms.

"I suppose I have been acting a bit weird. My apologies, Bella; I have nothing against your father. Honestly, I guess I'm acting a little off because I keep thinking he must have something against me. I mean, how could he not?" I looked at him blankly, and he explained. "My son, my family, left you. We are the cause of your injuries, your pain, and your actions. Why should he forgive me for what my family has done to you? I can't even forgive myself." He trailed off, his velvety voice quiet. Oh how badly I wanted to hear that silky voice continue to speak.

"Carlisle," I said, a hint of exasperation in my tone. "Hw could you think that? You have been nothing but kind to me, and Charlie knows that. Without you, I wouldn't even be here." "Yes, but if we had never left than you would never have been put in that situation."

"I put myself in that situation, and it was nobody else's fault but my own. Don't you dare take the blame for my stupid decisions. You took care of me, watched over me, and helped me gain back a little of my old self. If anything, I should be thanking you," I finished passionately.

I could swim in the amount of gratitude in Carlisle's eyes after my little speech. Wordlessly, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on the top of my head. Blushing furiously, I smiled up at him.

"Thank you, Bella. You have no idea how much that meant to me. I can only hope that Charlie is as forgiving and compassionate as you." He looked away, smiling absentmindedly. I followed his gaze, staring out the window silently. The sun was nearly set (not that you could see it behind the clouds anyway), twilight settling upon Washington like a blanket. Streaks and swirls of blue and gray patterned the sky, casting a cold-toned glow into the dark bedroom. Soon night would smother all remaining light, shrouding Forks- and me- in a deathly secluded state. I hated that it was Carlisle's last night here, and we weren't even spending it in the same place. This would be the first in a series of very long nights alone, and I was not eager to start it. I tried desperately to cling on to whatever time we had left together.

"So," I said, drawing out the syllable cumbersomely. When I didn't continue, the blonde turned his head towards me questioningly.

"So," he mimicked, although his "so" was short and much more elegant than mine. Unsure of how to answer that myself, I focused instead on the strange feeling I was experiencing on the top of my head. Carlisle's kiss had left a pleasant tingling in its wake- as did all his touches after we played husband and wife for the benefit of the twins. I had trouble viewing any affectionate contact with him now without getting an enjoyable, slightly dizzying feeling in my head. I wasn't stupid, and I knew that this had a meaning that I should take as a warning, but I ignored my mind as it shouted at me to ignore my newfound feelings for my ex-boyfriend's father. After all, it was just because he was handsome. _Who wouldn't be attracted to a blonde vampire doctor? _I reasoned with myself. It was just a little crush, and did not affect my feelings for him as a respected friend whatsoever. However, the aftermath of the kiss did spark a topic for conversation that was a little bit more intelligent than my "so," which would no doubt go down in history along with the speeches of Martin Luther King Jr. and the teachings of Aristotle.

"So," I tried again, reddening slightly at the amused expression on Carlisle's face. "Be sure to send Esme my care when you go home. Although it would probably be best not to mention how we kissed… twice." Much to my relief, he laughed at the joking advisory.

"I don't know, Bella. A kiss is one thing, but it's going to be quite hard to keep an entire marriage a secret." I giggled girlishly, glad that he hadn't shaken the whole thing off embarrassedly. His laugh soon faded, though, and the smiled on his face flickered. "In actuality, I wanted to talk to you about that. Esme and I, that is."

"What about?" I asked, now curious.

"Well, I tried to tell you about it yesterday but then the other vampires showed up and I got distracted and…" He was rushing his words, quite unlike him. I gave him an encouraging look and he relaxed, trying again. "Bella, Esme and I have separated."

"Oh," I said, completely in shock. "Well that's… oh." I couldn't manage to get anything else out. Feeling foolish at my lack of anything intelligent to say, I simply placed my hand on his arm. I hadn't meant to initiate such a serious topic. He seemed to sense my embarrassment and sympathy and smiled forlornly. He laid his hand over the one I had set on his arm, unknowingly raising goose bumps on my flesh as he ran his fingers over mine. "Honestly, that was the last thing I expected to hear."

"I would have been surprised if you guessed it correctly," he joked. Noticing my discomfiture and apologetic look, he held up a hand before I even opened my mouth to say anything. "I know what you're going to say, and I do not want to hear it. Don't be sorry, it was for the best. This was beginning to happen long before we met you. It had nothing to do with the move, or any recent events. It has been building up since our return to Forks; the spark of love just died out. Love of a friend is one thing, but romantic feelings are an entirely different matter." He cast his gaze down at me, striking golden eyes hooded by his eyelids. A flicker of something- I couldn't place what- danced across his features before he went on. "We no longer felt compatible, and realized that perhaps we had rushed into marriage. We were both lonely and looking for someone to tie our family together; what might have existed once as romance turned out to be dependence and caring for each other's well being. And as vampires, we are meant to stay with our mates forever. Of course it sounds like a long time, but you have no idea until you start to experience it. I believe that Esme and I were never truly mates, just… family."

"So, you and Esme are definitely over now? Wow… you both always seemed so fond of each other. Sorry if I'm pushing," I added hastily.

"Not at all, Bella," he said openly. "I know it may have outwardly appeared that way, but we were both lying to ourselves, unknowingly keeping up a façade for the sake of our family, as well as ourselves. It would be difficult to adapt to change after so many years, but even harder to keep going on like this."

"I get that completely," I said, thinking back to the mask I had to wear around Edward, pretending for the longest time that I was ok in the long run with his overprotective sheltering of me- it was because he _cared_- while he went along with all of the problems that came with my mortality and being human. I realize now that it was the unhealthiest relationship I could have been in. But I still can't shake the question in the back of my mind: _what would I do if I saw him again, if he wanted me back? _However, unbeknownst to me, there was another question steadily growing in the recesses of my mind.

"That is one of the things I admire most about you, Bella," Carlisle started, looking out the window again. "You understand me better than most, and I barely have to explain anything; you just grasp it so easily. It is like we have been close for years."

"You admire things about me?" I asked meekly, only paying the faintest attention to the words he spoke after that first statement. He grinned down at me, his blonde hair falling into his eyes slightly. For some reason that made me shudder in a not-altogether-unpleasant way.

"Of course," he said gently, tilting his head closer to mine.

"L-like what?" I stammered, my voice hardly more than a whisper at this point. His silky waves fell over his forehead even more, causing my body to tremble again. Why couldn't he just brush it back with his hand like he always does? I don't know why, but that hair was irrationally tantalizing.

"Well, what is not to like? You're intelligent, independent, determined; you have a love of fine literature that can't be challenged," he said, his eyes twinkling delightfully. "Let's see, what else? You're brave, you're pretty-"

At that point I interjected, still blushing madly.

"I'm definitely not brave. And I'm not pretty either…"

"Bella…" Carlisle's voice was chiding, begging to differ. And also… _determined_? I couldn't quite place the emotion as I watched his hand delicately move towards my face.

"Bella?" echoed a voice just outside the door. Only this voice was not smooth and affectionate. It was confused and cautionary.

Both of our faces whipped to the open entrance where my father stood, a concerned look on his face; Carlisle's hand dropped away from its midair path to my face at an inhuman speed. My hand, however, was still resting softly on his arm. When I saw the cogs working in Charlie's brain to put together the situation, I pulled my hand away like it had been administered an electric shock.

"Has Dr. Cullen finished helping you put your stuff away?" he asked gruffly, looking back and forth between us from where we sat side by side on the bed.

"We had just finished, and were discussing some things about how to take care of her injuries while I am gone," Carlisle said quickly, standing up. I looked up at him purposefully, but he avoided my gaze. "And Carlisle, please."

Charlie ignored him, turning back to face me. Of course to him it would seem odd that it had taken so long to put my things away; he would never expect us to simply be up here talking about serious matters and complimenting each other. There was no way he could possibly understand how close we've grown in the past few days. You had to be there to see the strangely deep relationship develop between Carlisle and myself.

"Bella, you mentioned that you wanted to go to school tomorrow?" I nodded wordlessly. "Well then I suggest you get ready for bed. You're going to need a lot of rest to get back into the swing of things." I thought after that he would go back downstairs, but instead he stood stoically in the doorway, waiting for his "suggestion" to unfold. Carlisle shifted uncomfortably, quite unlike his usually graceful demeanor, and eventually moved closer to the door.

"Well, Bella, I suppose I will see you in the morning then when I pick you up for school before I leave." I smiled expectantly at him, waiting for him to come over and give me his now-typical hug or kiss on the head. When he didn't move any nearer, my face fell slightly. I saw the restraint and apology in his eyes, but it didn't make it any easier knowing that there would be no more comforting contact from the vampire on the last night he was here. I needed that reassurance and care to get through the night alone. He opened his mouth and my expression brightened once more, only to be crushed again as the only words that came out of his mouth were, "Be sure to sleep on your back so as not to agitate the bruising on your ribs."

"Yes, Doctor," I murmured. I had meant it to sound sarcastic, but it only came out as sullen.

"Well, goodnight Bella." With one last, innocent smile, the vampire turned on his heel and left. Charlie followed him out of the doorway, pulling the door with him.

"Night, Bells," Charlie whispered protectively before shutting the door completely, cutting off the light from the hallway and drowning my room in total darkness. I fell backwards, losing myself in the plush folds of my bed. I pulled my legs in close to my chest, curling up into a tight ball. I must have stayed like that for about seven minutes before I couldn't stand the sudden solitude anymore. I got up, making my way carefully across the bedroom, which was pitch-black, save for the fractional amount of moonlight shining through the window. It was enough to light a path for me, and to see what I was doing. I reached the window, peering through the clear glass towards the driveway. Carlisle's car was long gone, probably back to the house by now. I sighed dejectedly and made my way back over to the bed. Collapsing down once again, I propped myself up against the pillows and rested my head against the wall.

"Carlisle," I said softly, wishing with all of my might that he could hear me. I knew that vampire hearing was amazingly sensitive, but there was no way that he could hear my breathy call from miles away. Defeated, I sunk into the blankets once again, laying with my back to the window. After only a moment of silence, however, I heard an almost impossibly quiet noise coming from behind me. Knowing that there was no way that he could have heard me, I ignored the teasing sound, blaming my wild imagination. I only responded when I heard someone clear their throat quietly. I shot straight up, my heart racing a mile a minute. I turned to the window to see it wide open, my favorite blonde vampire sitting casually on the sill, one leg pulled up while the other dangled precariously outside.

"Aren't you going to invite me in? You _did _call me, after all," he said, smirking. His pearly teeth glinted in the moonlight.

"You heard me?" I asked in disbelief, unable to hide the smile cracking across my face.

"Don't underestimate the power of my ears, dear," he purred defensively, and my heart skipped a beat at the affectionate name. I had to learn to better control these bodily reactions to his gentlemanly behavior or he would begin to think I was feeling something for him. I watched as he swung his legs effortlessly into the room, landing gracefully on the carpet. "So, I suppose you miss me already?"

I nodded silently, looking down in embarrassment. A red blush stained my pale cheeks, and I was glad he could not see it in the dark. At least, I hoped he couldn't.

"Come here, Bella," he murmured, holding his arms open for me. I moved into his outstretched arms, diving eagerly into the strong grip of the fresh laundry and vanilla-scented man. I inhaled deeply, trapping that aroma in my memory forever. It made me feel safe and secure, looked after. "Whatever are you going to do when I go back home?"

"I don't know," I said honestly, my face nestled against his granite-like body. "Wait for you to come back?" He chuckled, and I felt it rumble through his chest against my ear. I sighed, forever comfortable in his embrace. I'm not quite sure how it happened; maybe it was because he was the only person I had spent the past few days with regaining my sanity, maybe it was because he was the only one who understood and knew how to treat me in this situation, or maybe it was just because he actually listened to me rather than told me what to do. Either way, I knew that after the past events, Carlisle had sort of become my best friend. Alice was gone, Jessica was oblivious to anything but herself, and Angela was nice but just not affectionate. And I couldn't stand to lose my boyfriend and my best friend in the same week. I fought back the tears that were welling up behind my closed eyelids, determined not to make a fool of myself. After all, he would be back in a few weeks. Maybe even just one week; I could survive that, right?

"I guess I'm staying the night then," he said, feigning reluctance. My face brightened as I peered up at him through my eyelashes. "Just don't tell Charlie. I have a feeling he may get the shotgun out, based on his reaction to the last time I was in here with you."

"I don't think he would be concerned about you being in here with me all night; you are my doctor, after all. I think he would be more concerned with the fact that you somehow broke in through my window in the dead of night," I replied pointedly.

"Very true," Carlisle pondered, glancing down at me. "Well, either way, he was right about one thing. You need your rest if you are going to school tomorrow. So as your doctor, Miss Swan, I believe it is in your best interest to get to bed!" And with that he scooped me up into his capable arms, rushing over and dumping me on the bed carefully, all the while being mindful of my injuries. I stifled a laugh, nervous that Charlie may still be awake. I snaked my way under the covers, realizing just how comfortable a bed was after days of sleeping on a couch. Carlisle made a move to sit in the rocking chair, but I made a tired noise of protest.

"Not so far," I said sheepishly. "It's strange being back here, and I don't want to be alone."

Rather than correct me that I would not be alone if he was still in the room, Carlisle obligingly sat across from me at the foot of my bed, leaning his back against the bed frame, arms crossed and a smile on his face.

Thank you," I mumbled, my voice getting thick with sleep. My mind was becoming hazy, a dark abyss sucking me in. I hadn't realized how tired I truly was.

"For what?" Carlisle asked softly.

"For just staying with me, and doing everything you can just to make sure I'm comfortable." My eyes were closed at this point, so I couldn't see Carlisle's smile widen.

"You're welcome. Now go to sleep," he ordered delicately.

"Mmmhmm," I slurred incoherently. I was nearly asleep when my mind, ever the persistent one, pulled me back into consciousness with a nagging thought.

"Carlisle?" I whispered a few moments later, almost fully awake now that my mind was whirring.

"Yes, Bella?" His voice floated to me from the other end of the bed.

"Why did you say I was brave?" He was quiet a minute.

"Because it is true," he finally said simply. I snorted, unconvinced.

"But what makes me brave? What have I ever done that was courageous?" Again another moment of silent thought.

"It is ridiculous to even ask, because I can think of a hundred reasons why. You were brave enough to embrace a family of vampires rather than reject them. You were brave enough to follow your heart. You faced James to save your mother, you voiced your desire to become a vampire and join the ones you loved even though you knew of the pain that comes with it. And you faced your own inner demons and heartache a few days ago, but had the strength and bravery to continue on and recover even after you had previously given up hope."

"I have to give some credit to you for that last one," I mused. I absentmindedly rubbed the scar on my wrist, which was healing faster than I expected. The smooth, tough tissue felt strange under my touch. I took a deep breath and continued.

"Why did you say I was pretty?" This time barely a pause to think.

"Because it is true," he repeated surely. His voice seemed slightly off, though, almost taken aback by the question.

"Not that again," I said seriously. I was genuinely curious. "What do think makes me pretty, honestly?"

"Same answer as before," he said quietly.

"Which answer?" I asked, confused.

"It is ridiculous to even ask, because I can think of a hundred reasons why," he said, re-quoting himself.

"Oh," I said, a crimson flush covering all of my face and creeping down my neck, coloring the top curves of my chest. I was flattered, disbelieving, panicked, breathless, and dizzy all at the same time.

"Well, it's true. You are turning into a very pretty young woman, Bella, and anyone that doesn't see that is clearly blind, including yourself. Your father sees it, I'm sure-" "That doesn't count," I interjected.

"Edward sees it," he tried tentatively.

"Saw it, and due to recent events, I doubt it." "I see it. Does that count?" he asked politely.

"I-I suppose it does," I stuttered. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the recent discussion, I decided to try sleep again. "Goodnight, Carlisle."

"Sweet dreams, Bella," he said, his silky voice sounding preoccupied.

"Promise you'll still be here in the morning?" I asked, feeling rather like a small child.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Carlisle said jokingly.

"Seeing as you're immortal, that doesn't make me feel too confident," I said.

"I promise, Bella. Trust me." I heard the sincerity in his voice, sensed the smile that graced his lips. And I did trust him.


	14. Chapter 14

"Sorry for the wait" never gets old here on FanFiction, does it? My profuse apologies, as usual. The usual college application crap, exhaustion, etc. Plus I have been feeling strangely unsatisfied with this story lately, for personal reasons, and have not motivated myself to work on it. I wasn't really liking what I was doing for some reason, so I thought hard about this chapter and like it a bit more. Hopefully you all do too :) As always, thank you for the ridiculous amount of review, alerts, favorites, etc. I love all of you who have stayed with this story for 14 chapters, as well as you new readers! Please continue to boost my self esteem and fuel this story ;) I took some FF liberties and added another of my own characters in this chapter. She is not that important yet, but she may be; I haven't rightly decided yet. Fair warning: this chapter dabbles in the Hell that is High School. Looking forward to hearing from you all! ~Karen

Oh and PS, I absolutely loved writing Jessica. I fear I had more fun doing so than Stephenie Meyer did.

PSS, I decided to keep the rating M for now. I got thoroughly mixed ideas on what to do. Someone said that it should be T because the characters of Carlisle and Bella are not likely to do "M" things, but keep in mind that I have very unpredictable Estonian twins ;) Plus, I would feel horrible if I changed it to T, had a bunch of non-M readers come in, and then feel the need to change it back to M and have the T readers have to stop halfway through. Unlikely, but still :/ Maybe in the future, I'm just too indecisive right now.

* * *

Carlisle's POV

I couldn't decide if the silence was awkward or not. It was definitely not comfortable, to say the least. And calling it pensive was a stretch. I'm sure a million thoughts were buzzing through Bella's mind, just the same as my own, but they weren't calm, thoughtful things that constituted a moment as 'pensive.' I think the word I was looking for is restless. A restless silence.

One usually does not pair the words 'restless' and 'silence' together. How could a person be so edgy and tense and still manage to stay silent? It seemed like an oxymoron, but I guess it's possible.

So there we sat, side by side in the idle, sleek car, letting our silence mask the restlessness within. We had been in the parking lot of Forks High School for going on five minutes now, exchanging little more than murmurs of:

"We're here."

"I know."

And after a brief pause:

"So when does your first class start?"

"About fifteen minutes. I have time."

"I see."

And since those words, nothing else had been spoken. I did not want to rush Bella back into reality too quickly, but it had to happen eventually, and I was getting nervous that she would never be ready at this rate. I was about to open my mouth and try again, but to my surprise, Bella beat me to it.

"I guess I should get going now." Her voice was dull and lifeless. I hadn't expected her to be over the moon, but as it was her idea to come back so soon in the first place, I _had _expected a little more normalcy. I almost would have preferred her in tears; at least then I would have been consoled by some sort of human emotion. This empty shell of a girl was much worse. I briefly reconsidered leaving, but knew deep down that staying any longer would just make this harder.

I didn't quite know how to respond to her decision, and just nodded. She gripped the door handle tightly- her hand shaking a bit, I noticed- and got out quickly, before I had a chance to get out of the car and open her door myself, like a true gentleman should. Internally cursing myself, I followed suit and exited the vehicle as well.

"Well, Bella, I-" I began, faltering as I noticed many pairs of curious eyes on me from all across the parking lot. Almost every single human present was staring in my direction; some had the common courtesy to look away as I caught their gaze. Others did not. I quickly looked up at the sky, sighing in relief as I saw the dark clouds brewing overhead. That ruled out the possibility of drawing all this attention by sparkling profusely in a burst of sunlight. That would have certainly raised some questions and stares. Turning my eyes to Bella, I gave her a questioning look.

"Why-?" I started, motioning around to the strange, gawping students before she cut me off.

"Well, for starters, your family just up and disappeared a few days ago, and not many people know the back story that you got a job at a hospital in California. Those who have heard that story are probably wondering why you are here with me, and not actually _in_ California. And those girls," she said, pointing to a rather large group of teenage girls who seemed to be inching closer, "just appear to be completely dazzled by the stunning good looks of Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

"Oh," I said blankly, watching the group of girls bat their eyelashes and smile widely, a few even adjusting their clothes to reveal more leg and cleavage. A handful of the giggling students waved eagerly in my direction. Waving back politely, if not awkwardly, I inadvertently sent the assembly into a frenzy of blushing and fighting over who the wave was directed at. I turned away slowly, back to Bella, who was now frowning at the pavement. "Hey, look at me," I said softly, tapping my fingers under her chin and nudging her face up carefully. "Are you sure you're going to be alright today?"

"I'll be fine," she answered, sighing. I still noticed the faint red creep onto her cheeks, despite the defeated disposition.

"And you think you can get a ride home from Jessica, right?" She nodded solemnly, and I continued. "Good. I want you to ask her as soon as you see her first period, and text me to let me know you can get home safely." At this request, Bella giggled slightly, and I raised my eyebrows in pleased astonishment. "And what, may I ask, prompted that return to the old, happy Bella?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really," the brunette answered, still suppressing a smile. "It's just funny to think of you, of all people, texting."

"And why is that?" I challenged playfully.

"Well, for one thing, you're nearly three hundred and sixty-three years old," she began in a hushed tone.

"Not until February," I chided benevolently.

"Alright, three hundred sixty-two and a half years old, then," she continued, truly smiling at this point. "And you're also just so dedicated to the wonders of life that came before technology, like books. It seems odd that you have taken to texting."

"To be honest, I'm not that fond of it myself. I use it for convenience, though. I'm not sure where I will be when I get your message, but if I am anywhere close to home, I would prefer the family to hear a beep rather that your voice," I reminded her.

"Good point," she said thoughtfully, a slight smile still tugging at her lips. All traces of said grin vanished a moment later, as the warning bell for the first class of the school day rang out shrilly across the campus. "Guess that's my cue to get going," she said sadly, turning to leave.

"Excuse me, Miss Swan," I said sternly. She whipped her head back to face me, looking thoroughly shocked. My arms were crossed and my brow furrowed; I looked the true epitome of an adult scolding a child whose hand had been caught in the cookie jar. I held that position for a second longer before breaking character. "Not without a goodbye hug." My face melted into a warm smile as I stretched my arms out just in time for Bella to fling herself into them. She nestled in as close to my chest as possible, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the group of girls that had been fawning over me stalk away irritably. I was fleetingly reminded of Madeline, the determined blonde nurse who had caught me but a few days ago on my way to Forks and shamelessly flirted with me, just like she did every day in the hospital, and chuckled.

Eventually I pulled away from the warmth of Bella's arms, leaving her to gaze up at me with a mixed look of confusion and expectancy. I realized that over the past few days Bella and I had been a bit more physical than usual, and she was probably expecting a kiss on the cheek or head, as I had become accustomed to doing. However, last night I had thought about all of that as Bella slept, shortly after I had told her she was pretty for numerous reasons. Not that she wasn't, of course. But I was becoming much too close in all the wrong ways with her. True, we had a unique bond similar to the closest of friends, and I was trying to treat her as such, but it was turning into something that I didn't mean it to. As much as I could relate to her, and felt perfectly at ease around her, she was still just a young girl, a human one at that, and I was a centuries-old adult vampire. No amount of her wishing I was the twenty-three-year-old man I was when I was turned is going to change that, and I feared she was becoming extremely misunderstanding, almost delusional, about it. I felt as though I was beginning to lead her on- I noticed the subtle, yet curiously hopeful looks she gave me, the blush that colored her cheeks when I complimented her- and that was the last thing I wanted to do, especially in her fragile emotional state. I didn't even want to think about what kissing her (twice!) in order to fool the twins had done to her feelings. Although, in good measure, that was to protect her from any possible danger. I had mentally blocked out the time I had brushed my lips against her smooth stomach as I fixed her wounds, attributing it to hunger, protectiveness, and clouded judgment in the sudden events. But I was the adult, and I was acting inappropriate, so it was my responsibility to change. I had to stop this before it got out of control, and so I refrained from leaning in to kiss that perfectly pale forehead even though I wanted to very much. _Because she means a lot to me as a friend and patient,_ I told myself strictly as the other part of my mind argued in protest.

Bella was frowning again, probably realizing that I wasn't going to give her any more physical signs of affection. Not wanting to leave her feeling like this, I carefully took her hand in mine, trying not to make it seem like more than it was. She looked up at me, her face unreadable. I didn't want anything to happen while I was gone.

"Bella, I need you to promise me that you will not leave Forks before I come back in a couple of weeks to check up on you," I said seriously.

"I already promised you that," she said indifferently.

"Well, promise me again." I wasn't going to budge on this; I needed to know she would be safe while I was gone. "You can decide for yourself after I've seen you again. I can't stop you from doing what you want. But please just wait until I get back, at least." I knew my eyes were imploring, and it was not a look I had to fake. I could see the cogs in her brain turning furiously, working out an answer that she could stay true to. The machines clicked into place as her thoughts did, and she opened her mouth to speak.

"I promise that I will not leave Forks before you come back," she said slowly. "But do not think that this changes anything. I really can't stay here, in this town that holds so many bad memories. I will wait for you to get back, but I can't guarantee how long I will stay after that."

"Agreed," I said reluctantly, knowing that I would not get any better than that right now. The second bell pierced through the silence, almost screaming in annoyance at Bella being late for class. "You better be on your way. Do you need me to give your teacher a reason why you're late?"

"No, that would just draw more attention to the fact that you're here with me. Get home safe," she added.

"Thank you, Bella. And don't worry; I will be back before you know it." I smiled one last time before returning to my car. I sat down in time to see Bella walking away, towards the school, sorely regretting that I didn't get to see her face one more time. I put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot much quicker than I should have.

XXXXX

I received Bella's text while I was still in Forks. Truth be told, I should have been long gone by now, but I had trekked around both the forest near my house and the woods surrounding Bella's, as well as other concealed, yet too-close-for-comfort, areas the Lepik twins could be lurking in. Alice had texted me as well, confirming that she had no visions of any dangerous vampires anywhere near Forks, or all of Washington to be exact, but still I worried. I was just leaving my former house on foot, abandoning the emergency car in the garage for future use, when I heard the rhythmic ringing of my cell phone. Flipping it open carefully to view the new message, I read the black letters pressed darkly against the brightness of the screen.

_Jessica is going to drive me home. Don't worry, I'll be fine. ~Bella_

I typed out a rushed response of understanding, more keen than ever to get out of Forks now that the reality that Bella would come home from school in a few short hours had hit me. Shrouding myself in the shadowy, stifling obscurity of the forest trees lining the road, I picked up the pace to vampire speed and followed the route I had traveled from Alaska less than a week ago, along the westernmost coast of Canada, not slowing until I saw the first wall of blistering snow blowing towards me, balancing precariously between the icy depths of the tumultuous Pacific Ocean and the outer edge of Prince Rupert. I braced myself for the exceedingly difficult journey, wishing nothing more than to be relaxing at home with a book, normal for once in my inhuman life.

XXXXX

Between the whistling wind, the ferocious snowstorm, and the buzzing of my own thoughts, it seemed like ages before I saw the dim outline of my newest residence. Grabbing the doorknob that belonged to the entrance of an enormous cedar-wood, lodge-style mansion, I wrenched open the front door and practically threw myself over the threshold. I was just noticing how the house seemed eerily quiet when a gentle voice interrupted my observations.

"Carlisle," Esme said, stepping out from the den so suddenly she appeared to materialize out of thin air. She looked pleased to see me, but the warmth in her smile did not reach her amber eyes. "You were beginning to have me worried; I thought you were leaving right after taking Bella to school." It was not a question that demanded an answer, but a statement of genuine concern that I needn't pursue if I did not want to. That was one of the many traits that made me care for Esme so deeply.

"I was going to, but decided to search the area one last time for the Estonian vampires," I replied, holding my arms open for my former-spouse. She closed the distance amiably, embracing me tightly and accepting a kiss on the cheek. I was relieved that the time I had been away was not enough to weaken the familial bond between her and I. Stroking the caramel waves that fell just below her shoulders, I sighed before releasing her.

"Something wrong, Carlisle?" she asked, looking uneasy and very exhausted.

"Nothing worth worrying over," I said cryptically, quickly diverting the attention on something else. "Where are the children? The house is so quiet- a rarity with this family." Esme smiled at the feeble attempt of a joke, but it couldn't mask the true distress in her expression or the slight trembling of her jaw. "What's wrong?" I pressed. She couldn't fool me; I had been with this family too long to not realize when a problem is unfurling.

"Well, I would imagine that Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice are upstairs in their rooms," she said softly, her voice scarily calm against the turmoil flashing across her face.

"And Edward?" I asked tentatively, not sure if I wanted the answer.

"I couldn't really tell you where he is," she said, looking as near to tears as a vampire could get.

"What do you mean?" I urged on hurriedly. I rarely ever felt panicked, but this was a definite exception.

"He left, Carlisle!" Esme wailed, flinging herself back into my arms, remaining graceful despite her anguish. "He said he couldn't stand being here with everyone, and just left the house! I didn't want to call you about it when you were near Bella, so as not to disrupt her recovery, but he's gone."

I couldn't stop my mouth from dropping open slightly in shock, and this seemed to only further upset the vampire before me.

"Please calm down, Esme," I pleaded, not knowing how to properly soothe the woman who usually had such good composure. "He's technically an adult, he is free to come and go as he chooses. He's done it before, this is nothing new-"

"But it is new!" she interrupted frantically, dry sobs racking her body. It was a wonder that this was the same woman who had stood before me so placidly only moments ago. "He said he couldn't bear to be here! How can he not want the comfort of his family?"

"I'm sure he's just upset. An angry and confused teenager hardly wants to be with his family when he is feeling that way. And even though he is an adult in age, he is forever stuck in the teenage world, wise beyond his physical years and yet still drawn into the drama and disorder of youth, this time with the added uncertainty of a vampire-human relationship. Maybe he just wants to be alone to figure out this problem, rather than stay with his family like he usually does. Everyone needs their solitude once in a while. He will come back, hopefully in better spirits and understanding the reasons why it is safer for he and Bella to be apart," I rationalized gently. Esme had thankfully calmed down, but was peering up at me with fearful golden eyes.

"But that's the problem, Carlisle," she whispered. "I don't think he is coming back this time."

"Why would you think that, Esme?" I asked, alarmed at the notion.

"You didn't see the dead look in his eyes. They are cold and black, seeking nothing more than isolation from everything he remembers in Forks. He refused to say goodbye to any of his siblings, and Alice sees no visions of him ever returning. At least not in the near future."

"Are you the only one who knew of his departure?" I asked.

"I told the children after he left, but besides us only one other person knows," she said slowly, regaining some control.

"Who?" I asked, confused.

"That is the other reason why I think he is not returning," she said anxiously. "Tanya went with him, and told the other Denalis not to expect her back."

A sickening mixture of emotions brewed in the pit of my stomach upon hearing those words: bewilderment, anxiety, exhaustion, realization, and an inexplicable anger. Edward was going to get over Bella in any way he could, even if it meant leaving his family- who will forever remind him of Forks and the coven's bond with the human- indefinitely and making a mistake with a succubus who has had her eyes on him for the longest time.

Amidst all the horrible feelings swirling inside me, the faintest trace of something that felt suspiciously like triumph sent a victorious tingle throughout my body at the thought of Edward's inevitable mistake. Shaking it off as my emotions going wild in the intense moment, I opened my arms once again, allowing Esme and her maternal affection to fall apart.

Bella's POV

I hadn't realized I was staring at Jessica, watching her go through the lunch hour like a normal teenage girl should. Gesturing casually with her manicured hands, stopping once in a while to fix her curly, dark brown mane of hair, flapping her mouth open, spewing out so much gossip to Lauren Mallory that I was surprised the words didn't take off her rosy pink lip gloss as they flew off her tongue. I was soon reprimanded for my lack of tact, though.

"Bella!" Jessica said, looking much more offended than I thought the situation warranted.

"Yes, Jess?" I asked, trying to put as much interest into the question as I could. I even attempted a smile, but judging by the sudden arch in her eyebrow I assumed it had come off as more of a lopsided grimace.

"If you're going to spend all of lunch gawking at me, you might as well join the conversation instead of sitting there rudely with your mouth shut," she said, with all the air of an etiquette coach she could muster. It was actually sort of amusing, but I couldn't find enough energy to care.

"Sorry, Jess. I didn't notice I was staring," I said in a half-hearted apology.

"Well maybe you should be more aware of what you're doing around other people," Lauren added snobbishly, that condescending attitude stronger than ever. Her green eyes flashed arrogantly as she tossed her blonde tresses behind her shoulder.

"Yea," chimed in Sydney Collins, mimicking Lauren's behavior by flicking her own dark red hair haughtily. Sydney was the newest addition to the student body, and was obviously beside herself with desperation to fit in. As such, she clung to Lauren like the overpriced Abercrombie and Fitch sweaters she wore, becoming an apprentice of sorts. _Apprentice in the business of bitchery, _I thought moodily. Although it was nice to not be the new girl anymore, and begin my attempt to blend into the school for the rest of senior year.

"Maybe Bella would be more interested in the conversation if it was about her," Lauren began, a wicked smile gracing her pouty lips. "After all, we know how much she likes to be the center of attention."

"Not really," I said dully, trying to veer the topic of conversation away from me with my mind. Unsuccessfully at that.

"Oh, don't be modest Bella! You're so interesting, it would be a shame not to talk about you," Lauren continued patronizingly. "Don't you think, Jess?"

"Well, I have been wondering what's been going on these past few days," Jessica jumped in, excited at the opportunity for more gossip. "It was your birthday, and then you just disappeared! What happened?"

"I think we'd all like to know what happened," the blonde said, clearly missing the fact that the only ones who seemed to care about the conversation were Jessica, Sydney, and herself; the boys were all busy at the other end of the table having some sort of immature argument about football, and Angela Webber was pointedly looking away from them all, immersing herself in a book (although I figured she was just hiding behind the pages to avoid the tyrannical gaze of Lauren's dark emerald irises). "Right, Syd?"

"Definitely," Sydney declared cruelly, eager at being addressed by the Queen Bee. Her voice was high-pitched and slightly squeaky, but did not lack the nastiness that Lauren's had.

"So Bella," Lauren said with a triumphantly spiteful smile, leaning her elbows on the table and placing her chin on the platform she created by interlacing her fingers together. "What happened?"

"I was sick," I said quickly, thinking of the most boring and believable excuse. Lauren looked skeptical, Jessica disappointed. Sydney glanced sideways at Lauren before copying her doubtful expression.

"That's it?" Jessica asked uncouthly.

"Yup," I said, heaving a fake sigh and looking nonchalant.

"You were out this entire time just for being sick?" Lauren demanded.

"She wasn't out that long," Angela murmured from down the table, hiding her face behind the book once again as Lauren sent an astounded sneer her way.

"Well, it was pretty bad," I pressed on, thinking I could get at least a little enjoyment out of this.

"How bad?" Sydney asked loudly, drawing back slightly upon realizing that she spoke out of turn. She cast a pathetically apologetic look at her light-haired leader, who was too busy glaring at me to notice.

"Oh, it was horrible," I said vaguely.

"What was it?" Jessica asked, leaning back a bit and looking stuck somewhere between sympathetic and fearful of catching whatever 'it' was.

"I'm not sure," I continued. "The doctors couldn't tell, it was so rare and terrible."

"Was it contagious?" Lauren scoffed in an obvious 'I don't really care' voice.

"Absolutely," I breathed, leaning towards her and Sydney as I huffed out the 'contaminated' air. Sydney squealed, waving her hands frantically in front of her face as if to swat the germs away. Lauren pushed away from the table in disgust, and Jess hastily covered her mouth. Angela made no motions to move, still pretending to be absorbed in her book.

"So I guess that's why Dr. Cullen was all over you in the parking lot this morning," Lauren shot at me suddenly, venom in her voice and a dangerous glint to her smile. She still stood several feet away, arms crossed and a hip jutting out to one side, so she had to raise her voice to be heard. Now even the boys had stopped arguing and were beginning to look inquiringly over at the scene unfolding.

I could feel my cheeks flushing at the mention of it, and I tried my best to hide the embarrassment and pass over the peculiar situation as nothing.

"He was one of the doctors looking over me when I was sick," I said, trying to conceal the dodgy tone in my voice. "I knew him best, obviously, and he was just seeing me off to school, making sure I was better. He offered to explain my absence to the nurse, but I didn't want to cause anything-"

"But wasn't he supposed to be in California?" she persisted, the superiority of having this knowledge hanging heavily in the air. "Seems strange that he would rush here just to help you, when there are plenty of other capable doctors still in Forks. That is, unless he wasn't really in California?" She raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. Jessica was staring open-mouthed at me, clearly hungry for whatever was being laid on the table.

"Actually, Lauren, Carlisle was just finishing packing up the rest of his family's belongings, and offered to come see how I was doing."

"Oh, so it's _Carlisle _now," Lauren mused vituperatively. I inwardly cursed myself at the personal slip of the tongue, and watched with wide eyes as she continued her show. "How nice. A bit personal, though, for your doctor, don't you think? Then again, he is your boyfriend's dad. Speaking of which, where was dear Edward when you were battling this terrible illness?" I froze, starting to feel genuinely ill.

"H-he was in California," I stammered, truly getting upset now.

"He was in California," she repeated, feigning sadness. "How tragic; your boyfriend's dad came to your rescue, and Edward stayed on the sunny beaches while you were horribly sick. Not much of a boyfriend, is he?"

"Lauren," Jessica began tentatively. "Stop. Bella doesn't feel well, and she's obviously upset about Edward leaving." Even though Jess was trying to help, I still felt a sharp pang in my chest at the mention of the bronze-haired Cullen's name. "Just lay off."

"Unless he isn't her boyfriend anymore!" Sydney interjected, completely ignoring Jessica's request.

"Maybe you're on to something, Syd," Lauren said, causing the red-head to erupt in a fit of giggles. "Maybe Edward didn't want her anymore, and had his whole family move to California to get away from her."

"Lauren, stop it right now, that's ridiculous. You're being a bitch," Mike said, jumping in forcefully.

My head was swirling, and I could barely focus on the conversation anymore. I was so furious, so upset- not only at what she was saying, but at myself for not being able to handle it. Damn it, why was I letting her get to me? Near tears, I stood up from the table and stalked off, not giving Lauren the satisfaction of me seeing her victorious smirk.

_These next few hours in school are going to be insufferable, _I thought despondently.

XXXXX

I stood against the railing that framed the cement front steps of Forks High School, feeling the cold, metallic bar chill my skin through the thin blue fabric of my shirt. I was waiting for Jessica to bound down the steps as though nothing had happened, spitting out more gossip as she drove me home in her white Mercury. That's what I was expecting, anyway. What actually happened was enough to knock me down the stairs in surprise- thankfully that didn't happen, although knowing my clumsiness the greater surprise was that it didn't.

"Bella." I turned at the sound of Jessica's voice, soft, unsure, and so beside its usual self. She was standing a few steps above me, Angela hovering slightly behind her. "Are you alright?" the second, more reserved girl asked.

"Um, yea. I'm fine," I answered slowly, confused.

"What Lauren did was totally out of line," Jessica started, a little louder and more passionate than she had been. She lowered her voice before continuing, seeming almost fearful of upsetting me with her outspokenness. "And I'm just letting you know that she is definitely kicked out of our lunch table."

"And that you shouldn't pay any attention to her, because she's just a jealous, rude, immature brat," Angela added with a little more sanity than Jess had retained.

"Right," Jessica said promptly, beaming as though the words had been her own. "No one messes with Bella Swan when we're around."

"Oh," I said, feeling stupid at my inability to show proper gratitude. I was just so taken aback at the loving gesture. I hadn't realized what good friends I had here in Forks. "Thanks, guys. It means a lot."

"And we understand you aren't quite yourself right now, be it sickness or something else," Angela said knowingly, yet not pressing further. "But don't feel obligated to talk about it if you're not comfortable with it."

"Unless of course you really want to," Jess piped up, ever the enthusiastic one for juicy news.

I just smiled at her, not a full smile, but the best one I could give in these circumstances. We both bid farewell to Angela and made our way to Jessica's car, wanting to beat the traffic jam that ensued everyday in the parking lot as students fought to escape school first.

Managing to get out of the crammed campus in five short minutes, we were soon gliding along the tree-lined road towards my house. Jess was her usual, bubbly self again, prattling on about who's dating whom, what soccer player got into a fight with Coach Clapp, and who egged Mr. Banner's car. I was only half-listening, as was standard when Jess went off on a gossip rant, opting to stare at the scenery flying by the passenger window instead. Before I knew it we were slowing down, veering into my driveway.

"Oooh, who is _that_?" Jessica squealed in intrusive delight.

"Who is-" I began, turning to follow her gaze and choking on my words altogether. I suddenly knew exactly who she was talking about. Standing there, leaning elegantly against the front door of my house, was none other than Andrus Lepik. He caught my gaze quickly and smiled, his handsome, aristocratic features lighting up pleasantly.

"Hello, Bella!" He called sweetly, waving to me. I waved back slowly, dumbstruck, with Jessica waving back like a madman next to me, oblivious to the fact that she was not addressed.

"Oh, Bella, I guess I've figured out what you've been doing these past few days!" she squawked excitedly. "Everyone thought you were fooling around with Dr. Cullen, but I see who you've been keeping to yourself! He's gorgeous," she gushed, once again oblivious to the fact that she just confirmed the rumor I had been dreading. "Look at that smile, and his hair! But what's up with his eyes? Are they red?" She squinted rudely through the windshield at the young Estonian man; he looked slightly bewildered, but otherwise used to this kind of attention. He captured Jessica's eyes with his own and gave her a wink. I thought she might explode at the gesture, and I knew the feeling completely. "And his clothes, they look so… different. And old. Is he foreign? He sounds foreign…"

I wasn't paying much attention to her wonderings, nor was I planning on answering any of her questions. My heart was beating a mile a minute, and a wave of terror washed over me. How had Carlisle failed to notice that he was still in Forks? And at my house, no less? Plagued with the constant warnings the blonde doctor had given me about strange vampires we didn't know, I felt glued to the seat as Andrus beckoned me over to him. And now I was completely alone, no Carlisle to protect me.

Sometime during my internal panic attack, Jessica had stopped ogling Andrus and was now ogling me. I did a double take as I saw her, wondering why in the world she was staring at me like that. I soon found out.

"Why the hell aren't you going to him, Bella?" she asked, clearly questioning my sanity, as a stunning young man was waiting for me and I had not budged an inch. Truth be told, she was kind of right. Andrus and Kindra had never seemed malicious or conniving before, despite Carlisle's warnings; dangerous, sure, but that was true of all vampires. And they hadn't expressed an interest in harming me at all, rather an interest in simply getting to know me. Plus, they thought I was Carlisle's mate, and wouldn't dare try anything to get on his bad side. _What's the worst that could happen by just talking to Andrus? _I eventually reasoned, removing myself from the passenger seat and making to leave the car.

"Thanks for the ride, Jess. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bella, wait!" Jessica whined, clutching onto my sleeve for dear life. "Aren't you going to clue me in at all? For all I know, he could be a serial killer just waiting for me to leave you alone!" she cried dramatically.

"You're right, Jess," I answered sarcastically. "He definitely fits the profile of a serial killer." I looked at her puppy-dog eyes and pouty lips and sighed, surrendering a bit of information. "His name is Andrus, he's Estonian, and he is not a criminal." As far as I knew. "But just in case he does try something, why don't you stay in the driveway until he leaves? Just to make sure I'm safe."

Jessica was still nodding eagerly as I stepped out of the vehicle, walking tentatively up to Andrus. Said vampire was grinning boldly at me from the closed entrance to my house, straightening himself up as I neared him.

"Ah, the beautiful Bella," Andrus crooned melodiously, bowing low at the waist when I stopped in front of him. "I do hope I am catching you in good spirits and at an ideal time," he said, lifting only his head from the chivalrous position and peering up at me with sinfully beautiful red eyes.

"Sort of," I said, clasping my hands together self-consciously.

"If it is not a proper time, I can come back later," he said quickly, raising gracefully out of the bow and moving a fraction closer. "And if you are not in good spirits, perhaps I can change that now," he added playfully, prying my hands apart and taking them gently in his own. Not sure if that was meant to be suggestive, or just a sweet offering that was completely innocent in a foreign country, I merely blushed and shook my head, smiling.

"Very well," he continued amiably, not letting go of my hands. He gazed at me and flashed an enchanting, pearly smile, his charm going far beyond vampire dazzling. His eyes shifted over slightly, and he looked at something behind me. I thought I knew what it must be, as I could practically feel Jessica's eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. My suspicions were confirmed as Andrus smirked and murmured something to me. "It seems as though your friend is finding our discussion quite interesting."

"Just ignore her," I said embarrassedly. "She's just making sure you're not a serial killer."

"Beg pardon?" Andrus asked, an amused tone in his voice despite the confused look.

"Uh, never mind," I replied, more embarrassed than ever. "So, what brings you here? I thought you and Kindra were leaving Washington?"

"Actually, Kindra is what brings me here." I stared at him uncomprehendingly, no more informed, and he chuckled. "That look suits you quite well. Adorable, really, my dear," he said fondly in his thick, albeit endearing, accent. I blushed madly, and he laughed again before getting to the point. "We had actually left Washington and continued on with our journeys, but my sister insisted we come back here. She wishes to have a meeting with you. A girls' outing, she called it," he elaborated, grinning down at me. I was still perplexed.

"Why does she want to meet up with me?" I asked cautiously.

"No need to be worried," he said kindly. "We mean you no harm, not at all. I had hoped you would know that by now, Bella! And of course we would never try anything with Carlisle as your mate, for good measure," he added humorously. Easing up at this admission, I calmed a bit but repeated my question. Andrus bit his lip before answering. "To be honest, I'm not quite sure. She told me it was to ask you more about the area, and to get to know you and Carlisle, but I do not know about that. Why could she not just do that with me as well? I believe my sister has some woman-to-woman tricks up her sleeve that she does not want me to know about," he said, laughing lightly. I got a little nervous at Andrus word choice of 'tricks,' but assumed he didn't mean it that way.

"Alright," I said slowly. "When does she want to meet up with me?"

"I wrote it all out for you when she told me," he said graciously, handing me a neatly folded piece of paper. I opened the note and admired the curved, well-trained handwriting of the vampire before me, penned in dark emerald ink to match his vest and the jewel fastened in his ring.

_Bella Rosa Café_

_S. Lincoln Street Ste 1, Port Angeles, WA 98362_

_Saturday, September the Twenty-Sixth_

_2 O'Clock Sharp_

"I trust you know where it is," Andrus said hopefully. I nodded, and he smiled. "I had thought you would. Excellent. Not only because you live here and clearly know the area, but because it has your name in it. I thought that was rather charming," he said brightly, finally releasing my hands to clap his own together.

"You are going to stay here until Saturday?" I asked, wondering how it is he could fritter away in Washington when he had a whole country to see.

"We will be here and there," he responded, smiling. "We'll get the work done, don't you worry!" he enthused, tapping me on the nose waggishly. My heart leapt at his icy touch, and he raised his jet black eyebrows knowingly. He grinned in a 'shh, I won't tell if you won't' sort of fashion that just made my heart pound harder. "I can stop by and visit once in a while, if you would like, while we are 'here and there,' as I put it."

He looked so hopeful, so innocent- even for a vampire with blazing, scarlet eyes- that I couldn't say no, even if the Carlisle in my mind was screaming against it. It would be a mess if he found out, but I was eighteen, a legal adult in this country, and I had the right to make my own decisions.

"Sure," I said, bouncing my head in unnecessary agreement, and he clenched his perfectly curved jaw in a delicate smile.

"Stupendous!" he countered, picking up my hands again. "Until we meet again, Miss Swan. Which will be rather soon, I believe." He arched a single eyebrow and grinned, his devilishly handsome looks setting my heart ablaze and clouding the corners of my mind. He placed a kiss on each of my hands, followed by each of my cheeks, his lips soft and inviting. His cool breath lingered against my face before he pulled away. "I will be in touch, then, Bella. Oh, and by the way," he added. "What is your friend's name?"

"Jessica," I replied, confused.

"Thank you, my dear," was all he gave before spinning on his heel and gracefully loping down the lawn. My unasked questions were soon answered. "It has been a pleasure, Jessica," he called as he passed the car, giving the brown-haired gossip a warm smile. She nearly fainted, waving back frantically and yelling "Same here, Andrus!" out the car window a little too late. I chuckled at the sight, causing her to round on me. She bounded out of the car and ran at me, throwing her arms around me in an excited, slightly awkward embrace. _This was what normal teenage girls did_, I thought.

"Oh my god, Bella!" she shrieked in delight. "You were blushing! You have a crush on Andrus! And he obviously likes you, too. Lucky!"

"I do not," I said, biting my lips to hide an all-too excited smile from shining through. I should not be this happy when my (ex) boyfriend and his father, aka my new best friend, just left me. That empty, dull feeling was still gnawing away at me. But a new burst of warmth just exploded in my chest and gave the ache something to fear.

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Surprise! Second author's note :) So this is fresh in your mind, I want you to let me know in a review what you thought of the character Sydney Collins. Nice addition? Should I do more with her? Of course she is not much yet, but she could become very important. Oh, and you will find out eventually how Andrus and Kindra avoided detection by Carlisle and Alice. Brownie points to anyone who figures out how they did it (not that I would tell you if you are right, as it would spoil that aspect of the story, but still good job!).


	15. Chapter 15

Back with an update in a week! It's a bit short, but I bet all of you who though this would take two months are happy ;) So I'm absolutely overjoyed with the good response from the last chapter. I'm not quite sure what I did with it, but a lot of you really liked it even if you didn't know why either. I hope this chapter brings about a similar good response *fingers crossed* I tried something a bit different with this chapter. Firstly, the beginning parts are in third person, and are about the twins. I really wanted some insight as to what was going on with them when no one was around, and I think they are too interesting to pass over. But I didn't want to do it in first person and give away too much of what is going on in their minds. Next, I have a short part in Carlisle's POV, but the time in this update are a bit out of order. Carlisle's part actually takes place before the twins' part, right when Bella gets home and is speaking to Andrus (even though Carlisle obviously doesn't know that) as opposed to the twins' third person part, which is that following night. Lastly, I added a part in Edward's POV. I'm not sure how everyone will react to that, but I thought it was important to know vaguely what was going on with him. This part also takes place that night, during the twins' part. I hope everyone likes the different directions I went, and let me know in a review if you'll want more of Edward's POV, and third person bits of the twins. Obviously Carlisle and Bella's POVs will be dominant, but these will pop up occasionally if you like (I'm definitely doing at least one more for Edward).

As for Sydney, I got mixed reviews. I'm not usually one for OCs, but I really love how the twins came out so I guess I'm not too bad at them haha. But we'll see, she might come in handy later ;)

Wow, that was a lot of info. Sorry if I gave you all headaches D: So without further ado, enjoy and please review. Almost up to 300, I'm i shock! Thank you all, I love you guys! ~Karen

Special shout out to **Jenny Zimmer **for noticing that Andrus called Bella "Miss Swan" when they were speaking. Good job! That will be addressed in this chapter.

**tvholic68 **you are not completely blind, in fact you are almost dead on about Andrus. That will also be addressed in this chapter ;)

**Harry Albus Potter Dumbledore **your P.S. made me laugh :) Just though I would share! Oh and I love your username, I'm obsessed with Harry Potter myself. There's a tiny shout out to him in this chapter :D

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It's truly amazing how different people see things in radically different ways. For example, to most humans passing the scene currently unfolding outside of a bar in Washington, they would simply think that the exotically handsome dark-haired man was trying to charm a pretty, albeit slightly drunk, young woman. Nothing unusual about that at 11 P.M. in downtown Seattle, under the harsh neon glow permeating through the grimy windows. However, to those rare, yet not-so-human passersby, they would see that the crimson-eyed man with the devilish smile was merely playing with his food before he went in for the kill.

"What is your name, beautiful?" asked the man, his accent thick, sultry, and unfamiliar to most in this region.

"Grace," the girl breathed, her olive green eyes locked with the man's. Whether it was from the darkness of night, intoxication, or pure inattentiveness, she did not notice that his were an impossible red.

"What a pretty name," he cooed, carefully leaning towards her until her back was pressed firmly against the front of the window. "Tell me, Grace, did you come here with anyone tonight?"

The girl fluttered her eyelashes and looked up at him teasingly.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I really would," he pressed on, leaning ever closer to the lovely miss.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" she asked, smiling coquettishly.

"Because, my dear, it would be a shame if I had to fight another man to get the chance to escort you tonight," he explained, returning her gaze with a coy smile. "And it would surely dampen the evening's spirits if I sent your date home with a few unnecessary injuries- to his ego, of course."

"Well, you're in luck," Grace replied sensually. "I'm available and yours for the taking."

The man smirked, wondering if, in her inebriated state, she realized the obscene connotations her words held. Probably. He proceeded to take her hand and graciously raise it to his lips, placing a kiss on her smooth, milky-white skin. He felt her pulse beat steadily, separated from his mouth by nothing but a thin layer of flesh.

"Then consider yourself taken," he murmured.

"Not so fast," the woman replied, trying to wag a finger in playful warning but only managing to shake her hand drunkenly. "I don't even know your name. What kind of a woman do you think I am?"

_Clearly a very foolish one, as you've been flirting with a complete stranger with scarlet eyes, heavily intoxicated, outside of a shady bar, _the young man thought amusedly. _And clearly a very desperate one, judging by the way you've pushed your chest out at me so far that the buttons on your blouse are in danger of bursting. _And sure enough, the man let his eyes wander down just long enough to see the shirt straining against the confines of the buttons_, _a bit of that creamy skin visible above the blouse's neckline. He flicked his eyes back up and studied her thick, wavy red hair, which had a slightly more orange tint compared to her painted, ruby lips. Those lips were parted slightly, and he could just see the pink tip of her tongue. It excited him, and he pressed on more firmly, eager to get what he came for.

"The name is Andrus, darling. And might I suggest I take you home now?" Her face visibly fell, and he continued. "You are obviously quite- _satisfied_- with what the bar has provided you with-" she began to giggle in apparent agreement, but was stifled by a hiccough**- **"but I think it would be best for you to go home and get some rest. And perhaps another night we can meet and enjoy ourselves." He raised an eyebrow, smiling, and she pushed herself enthusiastically off the wall.

"I suppose you're right," she said, sighing dramatically. He watched her begin to walk away, swaying a touch, and admired the voluptuousness of her body. For a relatively small girl, she had a lot of delightfully-womanly curves. Smirking, Andrus followed the beauty, looking very much like a wild cat on the prowl.

Grace got no farther than a few steps before she began to tilt backwards. The dark-haired man closed the space between them, catching the woman carefully. He admired the spectacular view he had down the front of her shirt as she leaned against his chest; it didn't matter how much class he seemed to posses- he was still a man.

"Perhaps I should help you," he said lightly, offering the girl his arm. She snaked her own arm through, and allowed herself to be towed down the dark street. "Where do you live, my dear?"

She mumbled an address incoherently, too busy focusing on walking in a straight line. It did not matter anyway. Unbeknownst to her, Grace would not be returning to her home tonight. Andrus continued to tug her further down the road, it growing progressively more isolated as the minutes ticked by. Spotting a secluded, narrow pathway bordered by tall brick buildings on either side, the man steered the oblivious woman into the uninviting shadows. This seemed to jolt to pretty red head out of her daze.

"Andrus, this isn't the way to my house," she began slowly. She looked a bit wary; it could be that the effects of the alcohol were starting to wear off. Changing his plan, the young escort grinned kindly.

"You've caught me. I wanted a moment alone with you before I took you home, to properly explain my intentions."

"Yes?" the girl asked.

"You see, I find you quite stunning, as any man rightly should," he said, shamelessly flattering her. He stared deep into her eyes as he spoke. "And as such, I find it impossible to take you home without at least a kiss from a woman as fair and flawless as yourself." He started to get closer to the girl again, moving with inhuman fluidity. She was smiling seductively again, obviously responding well to the resurgence of sexual tension. She allowed herself to be backed against the filthy wall, hidden in the shadows of the towering buildings.

"Please forgive my ungentlemanly impatience," the man said, his voice deep and determined. He had her pinned between himself and the bricks, with hardly enough space for her to breath. He placed his arms on either side of her, his palms scratching against the wall as he leaned on his hands, his face mere inches from hers.

"There's nothing to forgive," she whispered, hungrily capturing his lips between her own. Electricity coursed through her veins at the man's touch. His kiss was passionate and rough, making her legs shake violently. A moan rumbled deep in her throat before escaping her mouth. The young man's lips chased the noise down to her neck, ravaging the pale skin covering her windpipe. His hands worked equally as skillfully, swiftly unbuttoning the female's top and throwing it to the ground. Her breasts broke free of the cloth restraints, delicately covered by a dark violet lace bra. She let out a pleasant noise of surprise and shot her arms up. The man seized this opportunity to grab her by the wrists with one hand and pin her arms above her head, while his other hand worked expertly at her heaving chest. She squirmed in delight, and he let out a feral growl as his lips moved closer to the side of her neck. He trailed his tongue over her throat, raising goose bumps on her flesh before nipping her lightly. She made no motions to stop him, and he tried again, a bit harder. This time she let out a startled yelp.

"Andrus, be gentle. That hurt," she breathed in between moans. He ignored her, biting down harder on the soft flesh. Her protests became louder, more frantic. This only excited him more, building up the tension until he could stand it no longer and sank his teeth as far into her neck as he could. Realizing that something was seriously wrong with her lover, she shrieked in pain, trying to fight away from his stone grip. The man did not relent, merely clasping a hand firmly over her mouth to quiet the shouts. Her blood tasted so sweet on his lips, sliding smoothly down his throat. This time he was the one to moan, lost in a blissful state at the irresistibly delectable flavor.

He felt a sharp prick on his hand as Grace bit down on it, wildly trying to escape. The young man ripped away from her throat with a snarl, his handsome faced smeared with her scarlet blood. She screamed louder than before, struggling violently. Surely someone would hear her, and Andrus certainly couldn't have that.

"Shut your mouth and stop yelling," he demanded in a dangerously silky voice, his eyes flashing in warning. She obeyed, quieting for a moment. Her own green eyes grew wide in fear as she stared at him, and wider as she seemed to realize that the searing pain in her neck was growing worse as the sticky liquid poured out. Losing all control, the young woman opened her mouth to shriek again, but it was futile.

"I warned you," the dark-haired man said, shrugging almost nonchalantly. Within a second, he thrust his hands on either side of the girl's head, tangling his fists into her hair, and jerked his hands to the side. Her neck snapped instantly, silencing her forever.

He enjoyed the peace he had to finish feeding on his plaything's succulent blood, draining as much of it as he could. Finally, the man removed his mouth from her throat and looked at her carefully, tilting his head to the side and smiling at the corpse he held against the wall. It was as though he was admiring a painting.

"My dear Grace, you look so pretty in red," he said, wiping the remaining blood from the wound in her neck down to her unmoving chest with a stroke of his hand. His eyes were dark and his voice menacingly sweet. "And you're much more of a pleasure when you're quiet."

XXXXX

Three things could be heard in an abandoned parking garage in Tacoma. The slow, rhythmic sound of dripping water somewhere in the distance. The quiet buzzing of the scarce ceiling lights. And the impatient drumming of fingernails against the arm of a chair. Soon, a fourth noise was added to the mix: footsteps strolling casually into the area.

Kindra's beautiful face was stained in annoyance as she watched her brother approach, still tapping her nails against the chair as she sat with one long leg crossed over the other. When he was within ten feet of her, she rose.

"Ahh, Andrus. So nice of you to join me," she said, with more than a hint of irritation. "And only an hour and a half after I told you to be here. Is that a new record?" Her twin finally reached her and stopped, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

"That temper of yours is getting the best of you again, Kindra," Andrus mused, tapping her on the nose.

"And that bloodlust of yours is getting the best of _you_, dear brother," she countered, eying the trickle of red liquid at the corner of his mouth. She wiped the blood from his lips with one finger and brought it back to her own mouth, licking it clean.

"I needed a snack," he said, smiling wickedly.

"Yes, but did you really need a snack that wanted to play back?" she sighed, fixing the buttons on his rumpled shirt. He grinned, leaning his face in close to hers.

"Kindra, you know that the one thing I love more than delicious blood is a delicious girl."

"Trust me, I know it all too well," she said, the annoyance back in her tone. "And you know all too well how problematic that can be." She shoved him back and started to walk in the other direction. He was quick to follow, trailing her to the back wall where she leaned unsociably. The parking garage, their temporary residence, was spacious, but the vampires had no trouble moving about it in seconds.

"Will you at least feign a pleasant mood for once?" Andrus muttered, placing his hands tightly on his twin's shoulders and capturing her in front of him against the wall. She half-heartedly tried to nudge him away but soon gave up, looking away from him instead. "Look at me," he insisted, an edge of dominance in his voice. She raised her dark red eyes, which were both angry and surprised. Her brother smiled, almost an apology for his demanding tone, and placed his hand on her cheek sweetly.

"I am tired of your temper, sister," he began, his eyes flashing prettily. "I miss the Kindra who had fun on all of our adventures, and was amused by my antics. You have been under so much stress, and I think you just need to relax." He rested his forehead on hers and gazed at her imploringly, a slightly imperious smile on his face. "Besides, the plan is going marvelously! Bella Swan is completely smitten with me."

Kindra's face had been unreadable throughout her brother's speech. When she finally spoke, her voice was deathly calm.

"I think you are right, Andrus. I just need to relax," she said, placing her hand over the one he held on her cheek. Her red lips were inches from his, and he could feel her hot breath on his mouth. "However…"

He stared at her fiercely, waiting for her next words. She smiled, her eyebrows knotting down in a look of cruel anticipation. Without another second to contemplate the situation, she grabbed Andrus and turned, throwing him forcefully into the spot she had been occupying. The wall cracked loudly as the man smashed into it, and he growled furiously at his sister's sneering face as she held him firmly in place.

"The plan is far from marvelous," she whispered, venom in her voice. She dug her nails into Andrus's arms and he hissed, his expression livid. "You called Isabella 'Miss Swan' today! She is supposed to be 'Mrs. Cullen.' You are endangering our mission; we do not know how long Carlisle Cullen is going to be gone for!"

"Calm down," Andrus snarled, wrenching himself from the other vampire's grip. "She didn't notice it, she was too busy admiring me."

"You had better hope so," Kindra warned, giving him a look of pure loathing. "It's about time that thing you call a talent became useful."

"My gift is just as useful as yours," he growled defensively.

"Oh yes, the power of temptation is _much _better than my gift," she said, her words thick with sarcasm. The young man frowned, obviously bothered by his sister's act of superiority, before replacing the despondent look with an appealing one. His scarlet eyes were persuasive as he batted his eyelashes and flashed a white smile at the raven-haired vampire before him.

"Do not forget that I am your sister; your power does not work on me," Kindra scoffed, laughing. "Just because you have the power to charm daft little girls into giving in to their slightest desires and bending to your every will does not mean you are irresistible."

"Really? Then what is your excuse?" Andrus demanded coldly, pushing her roughly away from him before stalking off towards the sloping cement floor that led to the exit. His footsteps echoed off the walls a minute after he left before dying away, leaving Kindra standing in the same spot as before, feeling a sickening mixture of shock, confusion, remorse, and anguish.

Not for the first time in her life, she was feeling the dangerous emotional repercussions of living with the same person for hundreds of years. Something that went beyond plans, and beyond family. But she had to ignore it. Biting her lip, she knew that whatever arguments came between herself and her twin could not interfere with the plan before them. They had to work together and be successful, no matter the cost.

Carlisle's POV

"Alice!" I called as I unwittingly paced across the length of the den. I checked my watch for the fifth time in the past thirty minutes; it was 2:18, Bella would surely be out of school by now.

"Alice!" I tried again after receiving no answer. My voice sounded a bit anxious, and I cleared it before opening my mouth to call the other vampire once more.

"No need to yell again," Alice answered as she appeared in the doorway inhumanly fast, looking slightly annoyed by the disturbance. Regardless, I could still see that flicker of interest in her golden eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," I began, halting my movements to stand before her. "I was wondering if you could seek out a vision of Bella for me. Just to make sure she is home safe and well from school," I added, taking note of the strange look on her face.

"You know that's not exactly how it works. I can only see her decided plans for the future. And why don't you just call her?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as if the entire situation was a bit uncalled for. To tell the truth, it probably was.

"I don't particularly want the rest of the house overhearing that I am in contact with Bella," I said in a hushed voice. "Even if Edward is gone, I'm not sure if everyone knowing at the moment is for the best. The family seems to be having a little difficulty in adjusting to the sudden move, and some people may think that Bella was, inadvertently of course, the source. I don't know how it would go over if those 'some people' knew I was speaking to the source."

"And by some people you mean Rosalie," Alice said, smirking.

"Just some people," I answered vaguely, smiling nonetheless.

"Then why don't you just text her?" she continued, still curious.

"Well," I said, still a bit unsure myself. "I guess I just don't want to bother her only hours after I've left. It was hard enough for her to see me, the last tie she had to this family, leave, and contacting her myself would just remind her of that. And I don't want her to think I am checking up on her, or that she cannot handle herself without someone there to watch her."

"But isn't that exactly what you're doing?" Alice asked perceptively.

"Please, Alice?" I asked, sighing. She merely smiled and put her hand on my arm.

"I'm worried about her too, Carlisle." With no more words to say, the pixie-like vampire closed her eyes and a look of deep concentration spilled over her small features. After a few moments, her brow furrowed. She opened her eyes, looking slightly put-off.

"What is it?" I asked, retaining the calmness in my voice despite the worry that was beginning to creep up on me.

"Nothing," she said slowly. "That's just it… nothing. I can't see Bella at all." She looked up at me, her face concerned. "Do you think it's a problem with my powers, or with-?"

"Just wait a moment and then try again, I'm sure everything is fine," I said, my encouraging smile rather weak. She nodded, looking troubled. After a few minutes of silence she closed her eyes, her face more concentrated than the first time.

"She's fine!" she exclaimed excitedly, before quieting her squeals of delight. "She's about to start dinner, apparently. It must have been a momentary thing, maybe she was trying to decide what to do at the exact time I sought her out."

I breathed a sigh of relief; I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath (even though I didn't technically need to breathe anyway). I was thankful Bella was alright, of course, but something still bothered me. I wasn't sure if it was a 'momentary thing' that had blocked Alice's vision. However, I shook it off and allowed myself to be tugged out of the room by an overenthusiastic Alice to watch Esme model an entire wardrobe's worth of new clothes the women had gotten.

Edward's POV

"Tanya, _please _stop planning to ambush me with snowballs. I can hear your thoughts, remember?"

I looked back, irritated, at the girl who merely giggled in response. She pranced through the snow, her strawberry-blonde curls billowing around her in the short bursts of wind that came every so often. Her ashen skin seemed silvery in the glow from the gibbous moon, which was just days away from becoming a full circle. She grinned, her pearly teeth shining in the darkness. She wore a pale blue dress that seemed little more than a slip meant to go under a full dress; it was low cut with only thin straps holding it up, and fell mid-thigh, revealing the creamy skin of her legs, arms, and chest. Her feet were bare. I sighed at the beautiful creature, wishing that what this pretty girl offered me was enough.

"Oh, have a little fun, Edward," Tanya complained, jumping to my side and wrapping her arm around mine. I glared down at her, exasperated, and she shrunk at the look. "I'm sorry…"

"No, I'm sorry, Tanya. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just not really the time for games right now." I sighed again and looked straight ahead of me, at the barren, snowy path guarded by towering hemlocks and pine trees. The stars twinkled brightly in the clear sky above, casting an ethereal glow on the ground with the help of the moon, so the snow sparkled like diamonds. The air was crisp and cold, that icy smell mixing with the scent of the forest; the smell was so sharp it stung my nose.

"When are we going to get there?" Tanya asked for the hundredth time. I rolled my eyes, agitated. She was an impatient little thing, and it was only our third night traveling. If I had known she was going to be this incessant, I wouldn't have agreed to her coming along. I had only allowed it because she said she needed time away from the life she had grown so accustomed to, to find out who she truly was. As she pouted her lips at me and batted her eyelashes, I somehow doubted that, and kicked myself for believing her.

"Soon," I said, also for the hundredth time. In truth, I didn't know, but if I told her that she would grumble the whole way.

"You said that an hour ago," she whined. The frozen stretch of land seemed endless. I had insisted that we move at a human pace; what rush was I in, anyway?

"Well, maybe it would go by faster if you quit thinking about it and focused on something else," I muttered, more to myself than her. But she took no time in doing just that.

"Alright, I will focus on something else," she purred, moving closer to my side. _This girl never gives up,_ I reflected wondrously as I listened to her desirous, quite indecent thoughts.

"Tanya," I chided again, a little more playfully this time. "I can still hear your thoughts." I looked down at her cheeky smile, suppressing a small grin of my own.

"I know," she said, placing her finger to her rosy lips in a would-be innocent expression. I openly laughed at this, knowing full well that while Tanya was capable of a lot of things, innocence was not one of them.

She giggled again, reaching up to ruffle my hair. As she was so much shorter than me, she had trouble reaching and had to stand on her tiptoes and lean against me to get to my hair. I stood completely still as I felt every inch her body stretch out against mine, her dress inching up as she strained. It lasted for all of two seconds, but it felt much longer. I looked away, my face stony and- hopefully- disinterested. While my heart still ached for Bella, a man definitely noticed when another woman (a beautiful woman at that) rubbed her entire body against his.

The rest of the journey was relatively uneventful, except for Tanya eventually launching a slew of snowballs at my head. It was unavoidable from the beginning, I suppose.

We were heading towards Barrow, the northernmost city in Alaska, just south of the Arctic Ocean and east of the Beaufort Sea. I had gone there once before, years ago, and met a human man that lived in a decent-sized cabin on the outskirts of a forest; he would be long-since dead by now. The population was less than 5,000 and so spread out that we would rarely come in contact with anyone twice. Not that it mattered, as Barrow is one of the cloudiest cities in the world, and would soon be experiencing its polar night, where the sun refused to rise from mid-November until late January. It would not get any brighter than twilight for over two months. The perfect place for vampires to sulk for an indefinite amount of time. Maybe forever.

"Are we nearly there?" Tanya moaned again, the moon now high in the center of the sky. I was about to pick her up and throw her in a snow bank to reprimand her when I saw the familiar cabin just beginning to come into view.

"Yes, we're there," I said, smiling slightly as I pointed to the small building visible in the distance.

The vampire squealed in excitement and was gone in a flash of strawberry blonde, running to our new residence. I followed more slowly, still unsure if this was a good idea or not. Either way, I was going to face it with a brave face, knowing that I didn't have many other options ahead of me.

XXXXX

Never had a night passed so slowly. It was true that most nights dragged on when sleep was an impossibility, as did everything else in front of a creature trapped in immortality. But this night was especially long, the sun refusing to rise while the moon sat unmoving above the horizon.

So here I lay, stretched out on the single bed in the cabin, staring at the rosewood ceiling that seemed to get closer every minute I continued to watch it.

"Tanya, please," I groaned as the girl pounced next to me yet again, her curls tickling my face as she lay down beside me.

"What? I just want to be close to you, Edward," she said innocently. I didn't miss the sensual tint to her voice.

"That I don't doubt," I said, smirking and rolling my eyes. I inched away from her, only to feel the bed shift as the vampire followed. She propped herself up on her elbow and faced me, her amber eyes alight with determination.

"Come on, Edward, aren't you lonely?" The corners of her lips crept up into a smile as she delicately placed her hand on my chest. I twitched, but she either failed to catch or ignored my discomfort. She began to rub her hand along my chest, her fingers cold through the thin fabric of my shirt.

"Of course I am," I answered, sighing. "We're vampires; we're supposed to be lonely. That is why we shouldn't get involved with humans. We only put them in danger, mess up their lives, and live long enough to watch them die."

"You're right," Tanya said, her voice an eager whisper now. "It's impossible for us to coexist. Relationships with humans will never work out,-" I tensed at this statement, but she continued- "that's why we were created to survive on their blood. We drink and move on."

"Mmm." I made a noise, not agreeing or disagreeing but just listening to what she had to say. I was curious as to why she was suddenly so interested in discussing the philosophical meaning of vampires and their relationships. Deep conversation wasn't really common with Tanya; after all, only moments ago she was inanely going on about how attractive that guy from "Harry Potter" was. She was still rubbing her hand across my chest.

"So that's why vampires are meant to be together. So they have someone else to spend eternity with. And it's so hard to come across someone you find so sweet, so attractive, that you wouldn't mind spending forever with them. Someone like you," she finished, looking at me with passionate eyes. So that was what she was getting at.

"Tanya-" I began, but she cut me off.

"Of course, how can you be sure that you truly want to spend forever with that one person without spending a night with them?" she asked, her hand moving slowly down to my stomach.

"Tanya," I said, a little more forcefully.

"Edward?" she asked, looking pleasantly interested in what I had to say.

"Not now," I warned, becoming annoyed.

"Well, we don't have to do anything this _second_," she said, smiling desirously.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," I replied, interrupting her giggling. "Don't start this now."

"Start what?" she asked, her hand still creeping downwards.

"This attempt to seduce me. You always do this; you lure people astray and then put on an innocent act."

"I do not," she said slyly, obviously very well aware that she did.

"Yes you do," I declared, getting annoyed. "You've done it for as long as I've known you, and no matter how many times I tell you I don't want it you continue to disrespect me and my decision."

"You just can't see what you really want, Edward," Tanya pushed, desperate now. "You were blinded by your relationship with Bella, and after that heartache you're afraid to try anything else-"

"You have no idea what you're talking about," I said, my voice rising angrily. I wasn't going to let her get away with bringing up Bella. "You just can't stand to be turned down by men; you see something you want, you go for it, and you get it. But not with me, and that kills you."

"Edward, stop," she warned, sounding slightly upset.

"No," I challenged, determined to finish this. Her hand was still near my waistband, and I grabbed it roughly and threw it away from me. Her eyes widened at the action. "You can't stand that I don't want you like that, so you block it out. You continue to go for it even though it's obvious to anyone with any sort of sense that it's pointless."

"Shut it, Edward!" Tanya yelled, more distraught than enraged.

"Why? Can't stand to hear the truth, Tanya?" She looked near tears at this point, but I wasn't going to back down. "Well, I'm going to tell you anyway, so be sure to listen. I'm sick of your advances, and I'm sick of you thinking you know more about what I want than I do. So lay off or get out," I said coldly, turning my face away from her thunderstruck expression.

There was a painful silence that persisted for much longer than it had any right to, before I heard the gentle squeak of the bed as someone got up. And then more silence, interrupted only by the crackling flames emanating from the fireplace. I lackadaisically wondered if Tanya had left the room, but didn't bother turning around to check. I also didn't know if I could properly face her if she was still here; even though the outburst was necessary, I still felt a little contrite for coming down so harshly.

I closed my eyes as I heard the front door open and shut. It hurt to hear the noise. It wasn't an angry slam, or an offended thump. It was a tiny, defeated click.

My chest ached and I curled up on my side, feeling sick. I was alone again, and that was the way it would always be from now on. But now I had to carry the terrible knowledge that I had just made someone else as lonely and miserable as myself. I really was the monster vampires are depicted as.


End file.
